Bleu Trumpet's Misplaced Mind [And Other Stories]

Happy Days!

2012-01-25T18:51:00.002-05:00

When I was kid (back in the good ol' days, clearly), I was a big fan of old tv shows. My parents were both born in the early 60's, so they grew up in the 70's. I'm a firm believer that they never left those years either.

I was raised listening to classic rock, and watching tv shows from when they were kids and teenagers. The Father and I tend to listen to the classic rock station on the radio, and then sort of compete to see who can guess who sang that song first. He usually beats me because he knows more of them (obviously, as that was what he's been listening to for way longer than I've been alive), but I'm good at remembering the sound of voices, so I sometimes beat him.

Like I said, I also grew up watching tv shows from back then. When I was really young, about four and five years old, my favorite show was Emergency. I wanted to be a firefighter when I grew up! That is, until I realized that fires can be really dangerous, and I didn't want to die in a fire. There went that goal.

One thing I really remember from being in early elementary school, and then less frequently as I got older, was watching Scooby Doo, Where Are You? and then Full House*, sometimes followed by America's Funniest Home Videos (but not always, I've never been a big fan of that show.) In addition to those, I was always a big fan of Happy Days. My sister and I used to say "Sit on it!" and "Heyyyyyyy" in true Fonzie style (or at least, a good attempt.)

Today, I came downstairs to find that there were a couple episodes on!!! I was so freaking excited, as I really hadn't watched it since I was a kid. This is a clip from the first episode I watched today.

Not everyone was lucky enough to grow up watching and listening to the things I did. Some people have never watched M*A*S*H or Emergency or Happy Days, and to them, I say go look it up, because that's just sad. All I know is that this song always takes me back to those days as a little kid, and never fails to make me smile.

*I'm aware that Full House is a 90's show, I'm just saying it was in my typical repertoire of shows to watch.

Well I'm off to relax and go to bed soon.....finals week is killing me here! Thank goodness it will be over tomorrow.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

This is Post 301?! Whaaat?

2012-01-05T16:46:00.002-05:00

Hey there blogger!! Sometimes, I do this awesome thing: I post. (Except it's not awesome, and there should be emphasis on the sometimes.)

Since, as I mentioned before, I'm also running a fairly successful Tumblr account, I was wondering what the difference between that and these posts is. (And by fairly successful, I mean that I have 88 followers currently! which, although that isn't nearly as many as Tumblr Famous people have, it's still way more than I have here.)

What is it that makes the two blogs different?

I understand that a ton of people, mostly (but not all) teenagers make up Tumblr so they can relate more, and there are pictures and stuff there, but.....I mean, both are about my life. Maybe it's because that one has more of a theme and it's easier to randomly come across? I don't know. But readers, here's my question for you: what do you want to see from this blog? It's a new year and a fresh start.

What are you looking for? What have you liked in previous posts? What don't you like? What made you start reading, and then decide to stick around with me? Or just tell me anything!!

It would be awesome to hear your feedback about anything. And I know there are only a couple of you that still read, but I want to know what you think. I'd appreciate actually getting responses to this too ;-)

Anyhoodle. I have several topics that I want to discuss, but as another change to my blog, I'm going to stick to the method most bloggers use, which is one topic per post. Hopefully, that will make things seem a little less chaotic around here.

Currently, I'm listening to this Goo Goo Dolls cd. I really love that band!!! If you listen to a couple songs on the cd, you'll probably find that you've been hearing them on the radio for years and never knew who it was by!!! I would highly suggest listening to anything by them, it will make you smile.

These are my favorite songs from this particular cd:

So yeah, you are now sort of musically enlightened. Maybe I'll do that on all my posts: suggest songs for you to listen to, just to have a peek into my mind. We'll see.

It's been like freezing at my house lately!!! It was nice and warm, in the 50's(!!!!) for most of December, but this week, it's gotten sooooooo cold! Literally the only good part is that I can say "It's like ten degrees outside!" and for once, I'm not exaggerating. Well, that's good, and also the fact that it actually finally feels like winter. Now, we just need some snow!!!! It's flurried a couple times, but since the couple inches we got in October (freaking ridiculous), we haven't gotten much. It's upsetting.

I hope all of you are keeping warm!! I'm off to online dress shop (I'm so weird, blame Teresa) and Skype Teresa!!

Happy New Year!

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Happy New Year, Everyone!!!

2012-01-02T20:47:00.003-05:00

Hello followers! (All two of you).

I don't have a whole lot of time to post write now, as I have to take a shower and go to bed! I have to go back to school tomorrow (ugh.) Why does this break have to end? It hasn't been nearly long enough.

You know, 2011 was great. Arguably, the best year of my life so far, and that makes me highly optimistic for 2012.

In 2011, I....

~became assistant drum major

~started (and still am) dating one of my best friends! (Hi Justin)

~I had so much fun in marching band!!! I feel like I really did help the band a make a difference.

~Because of #2 on this list, I've become so much more confident, just in general. And maybe that's not the best reason to feel this way, but hey, it's happening and it's good, so why does the reason matter?

~I've become even closer to my friends, even my best friends. I've learned so much about people, even those that I'm closest to

~Did my first official college visit (to Seton Hall University, which was kind of a disaster), and even though that didn't go very well (nothing against the school!! I'm just not a fan of the campus and not interested in attending there), it's also been good because it helped me to figure out what I don't want in a school.

~Became addicted to Tumblr

~started telling people that my dream college is Northwestern University!

~Became more giving and empathetic toward people

~became more outgoing and honest

~Was the healthiest I've ever been (what happened?!)

~Was the happiest and most content I've ever been with my life.

I began 2012 at Cynthia's house with a group of my best friends (and other people), and for the first time, with a kiss. (That was another "accomplishment" of 2011, my first kiss.)

I'm so excited for 2012, because I know it's going to be great.

Happy New Year!!

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

How Has It Been a Month?

2011-12-24T12:31:00.002-05:00

Remember how I fail at posting? Yeah, hi.

I honestly had know idea it had been so long since I vowed to start posting again, and I did a wonderful job of procrastinating...."I'll do it tomorrow." "I'm really busy." "I'm so tired, I'll post before this weekend."

Clearly, none of that happened. And I'm sorry.

Anyway, today is Christmas Eve!!! It's Saturday, I know. A "no blogging" day. But I'm posting anyway, because I know doing this will force me to start posting regularly again. Getting the motivation to do it once will make me keep doing it.

Today is one of the best days of the year in my opinion. It rivals Christmas day for how much I love it.

Every year on Christmas Eve (minus that one year when I was just getting over the flu and Sister Dearest had it, and we didn't want to infect everyone), we do the same things. In the morning/early afternoon, we wrap last minute presents, maybe do last minute shopping, bake cookies and other things, and get ready for the evening's events. We go to Nannie Banana's house and then go to church at five first. It's always full of kids (and it seems like there are more every year.) This year, my baby cousin is going!!! I'm excited. After church, we drive to a park that is decorated with lights. They're the same every year, with maybe one or two new things, but we still go anyway. Because, you know, it's a tradition.

After that, we go back to Nannie Banana's house and party! We eat snacks, the adults drink, and we all end up in the family room watching National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (if you haven't seen it, you fail at life and have obviously been sheltered. You should watch it to redeem yourself.) (Justin has never seen it, and I'm working on fixing him, because he's also never seen A Christmas Story).

Even though Justin isn't coming with me (and I totally understand....his dad wants him to spend time with family. I know that's way more important!) I'm still ridiculously excited!

What traditions do you have?

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

What traditions do you have?

I'm Back!!!!!!

2011-11-28T17:53:00.002-05:00

Hello everyone!!! Let's pretend I haven't actually let it become two months since I last posted. Let's pretend you're all still hanging around, checking blogger every day, hoping that I've posted again. Let's pretend all two of you (if that many) actually still remember me and care what's going on in my life. Let's pretend I actually remember what I last posted about!! (Okay, I've now refreshed my memory).

I have officially returned to blogger! So you should start expecting at least one or two posts a week again. I realize that it's been a decent amount of time since I last posted as frequently as I like to, but who says that can't start again?

I'm feeling rather productive after spending my Thanksgiving break doing literally nothing but having fun. I (sort of) started a huge project for AP Psych, so that's exciting. I also did my other homework (even though there was hardly any) and got caught up on all of the lovely blogs I follow. Gotta say that as addicted as I am to Tumblr, I also missed blogger. A lot. I'm happy to be back!!

My Thanksgiving break was wonderful!!! It was so great to just relax and not worry about anything (besides the occasional nagging thought about my project or practicing) for a whole five days!!! I got to see Justin (who yes, I'm still dating!) twice, which was awesome. My lovely Teresa slept over on Friday night, and I also got to see Michael for a couple hours on Friday!!! Thanksgiving itself was pretty fun, but nothing special. Overall, it was a wonderful break. I'm counting down the days until winter break!!! Justin will be home for a whole month, as will Ian, and all of my other college friends will be home for a couple weeks.....I just can't wait!!!!

Well that's all I have to talk about now. Thanks to those of you who have stuck with me and waited for more posts.

The best is yet to come!!

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

[Insert Creative Title Here]

2011-10-03T17:03:00.002-04:00

Hello there!!! I'm back again, to the world of blogging!

And, once again, sorry for my absence. Band season is making my entire life chaos as usual, so if posting has been (and is, and will be for a little while) sporadic, that's why. Blame band.

What to tell you all though!

Well, first of all, another reason for my lack of posting would be that I acquired a Tumblr over the summer, and have been becoming increasingly addicted to it. That's probably partially/mostly due to the fact that I've only had it for a few months, and I already have about double the followers I have on here, which I've had for.....like over three years. Which is disappointing, because, lets be honest, I'd rather be Blogspot famous than Tumblr famous. But for certain reasons.

It seems like almost everyone has a Tumblr these days (at least people my age, and young adults), so Blogger is more uncommon. It's different. And here, I can write out long posts about whatever the heck I want to, while I use my Tumblr for more personal posts, and to reblog pictures and quotes. I have 31 followers on there, and I've been getting about one new follower every day or two for the past few weeks, which is exciting. Here, my list of followers hasn't changed for I want to say like, a year. So I'm asking you to do something, readers and followers.

I'm opening up comments for everyone for the first time ever. That means that you don't have to have a Google account to comment (which was the setting I had). So let me know you're here and reading! Let me know that you've stuck around.

I want everyone to do this, even my friends that I know have been reading. Tell me your name, how long you've been reading my blog, and why you like reading it (or don't like it, but pretend to because you love me in real life).

This isn't delurking week, but I need to be reassured that there's still a point in keeping this blog.

I do love writing posts here, but I've been using my Tumblr so much.....

And no, you won't be getting the link to that. If you're my friend and have it, great. But it's sort of more personal than I like things to be here, so I'm not giving you the link. If you also have a Tumblr and want me to follow you, that's awesome! Leave that in a comment, too!

Besides that....what's been going on in my life?!

Well, for starters, we've so far had two marching band competitions, and have won both! Friday was a home show, but it ended up being a [very chaotic] standstill in the gym because of rain (and to be honest, it was freaking freezing outside, so I don't really mind). But we performed SO WELL!!!!

And when we were warming up before performing, we played Part 3, our ballad. And something magical happened. Literally. Magical. I've never experienced anything like that before in my life.

Even playing it, I was affected. We played it, and it was just so....amazing, and musical, and EMOTIONAL, holy crap. And when we cut off at the end, it was dead silent, like all of the air had just been sucked out of the room, and everything on the planet just froze for a moment. And then we all just kind of looked at each other and gasped. Many people, myself included, were moved to tears.

I've never experienced anything like that in my life, and honestly, I don't know that I ever will again. But it was such a special moment that I know I'm going to remember it....just that feeling, for the rest of my life. And everyone in that room was so privileged to have been a part of it.

I hope that everyone, at some point in their life, has an experience like that, whether it's music related or not.

Today, I got the grade back for part of a HUGE A.P. Psych test, and I actually did really well!!! It was the essay part of an A.P. Test structured test, and I got a 27 out of 30 on it, which was exciting. Tomorrow, we're getting back the multiple choice part of it, which was 70 questions, and I'm actually kind of nervous for that.

We got to check our answers and redo them if we wanted to today, so I changed a couple, but I wish we hadn't had that opportunity, because I always end up second guessing myself and then getting the question wrong. Luckily, I only changed a couple questions. I can't wait to get it back! I really want to know how I did.

In other news....well, besides band, I haven't really had that much going on! (Besides school and homework and sleep, anyway).

My love life is.....excellent right now, I'll say that.

Um, wow, I'm watching tv and a movie preview just came on....are they really remaking Footloose? Really?

Dumb.

Well, that's about all I have for now. I'm off to relax (because I'm busy with band related things starting tomorrow, but Friday I'm not thank goodness!).

Hopefully I'll have the time and energy to post again soon. Don't forget to comment!!

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

I Suck At Blogging.

2011-09-19T17:20:00.002-04:00

Hello everyonewhostillevenbotherstochecktoseeifI'vepostedlately.

Ahem.

I've been sucking at posting. I know. As in it's been like a month since I've posted anything.

I'M SORRY, PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!!!!!!!!

Things lately have been.....rough.

My last post was insanely random. It was me just trying to fill you guys in on everything, and summarize the summer.

I don't even really know what I want to say right now.

What to tell you.

What you need to know is just that Justin and I are still best friends, so don't worry about that. And I've seen Teresa like three times since she left for college (one of them was last night!!!! Yayyyyy!!!!!), and it just feels like everything in my life is ridiculously complicated.

Not bad necessarily, but complicated.

Right now, I don't really have a lot of time to post, so I'm going to finish up in a minute, and then write something real when I have time to, on Friday. I just wanted to let you all know that I'm alive. Everything isn't nearly perfect, but it's okay. I'm....surviving.

"The only thing that truly scares me is what love can do to a person."

I'm off to do.....stuff. I'll post again Friday (if I have time!!)

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Retail Therapy

2011-08-26T10:24:00.002-04:00

Song on Repeat: "All We Are" by Matt Nathanson

Mood: really tired

"All we are, we are

All we are, we are

And every day is the start

Of something beautiful"

Well, hello again!! Told ya I'd be back!

This will be my attempt, with less than an hour, to fill you in on everything that's been going on in my life lately.

As you know, I've been at marching band, which is the main reason I haven't posted anything in over two weeks.

Band Camp went surprisingly well this year!!! Pretty much as well as spending that many hours a day, at least nine, together with the same people in the hot and the rain, etc. every day for two weeks (minus the weekend).

We got a ton done!!! We learned drill for all of parts 1, 2, and 3, and memorized all four parts of the show! Which is awesome. Now all we have to learn is part four, which is kind of a terrifying prospect because, to be honest, it's a rather fast tempo - 176 the whole time - and we're pretty much sprinting around the field for all of part two, so any more running may result in half of the band collapsing in the middle of the field. No big deal.

This camp was also different for me because of how I was mentally "there." I've been thinking of a way to explain this in a post since the first week.

This year, without really putting in more effort, I was able to mentally separate myself from all of the pain, sweat, etc. that I was feeling, and make myself just totally focused on whatever we worked on. In a way, basically the entire camp was like an out of body experience. I was seriously able to just ignore everything that could distract me, like sweating so that I looked like I just got out of a pool, or standing out in the pouring down rain, or having a pulled muscle in my butt, or being really freaking tired.....yeah. So the camp went a lot better because I wasn't marching around feeling like death. Well, I was, but it was just easier. I can't explain it exactly, but maybe that gives you an idea of it.

Another band related thing I have to tell you......remember my secret that I was so excited about, but didn't want to risk anyone in my family reading it?

Well, they know now. The secret is that....I'm conducting Part One on the podium!!!! I get to salute, and start the show!!

It's really exciting. I'm one of the only Assistant Drum Majors from our school to ever get to conduct part of the show on the podium, if not the only one (I'm not sure).

So that is my main news that is band related.

Now on to other things. (Justin, I hope you're reading this). ;-)

This summer has been the best summer I've ever had. Seriously.

It's been so much fun, what with DMA and Camp being ah-mazing, and then marching band being so fun and exciting, spending lots of time with almost all of my friends (not all of them unfortunately, and not enough with some of them), and being given the wonderful gift of dating one of my best friends for six weeks.

On Tuesday, we broke up because he's going back to college (well, he's already there). It was.....an emotional experience. And going to band rehearsal right after leaving his house was not a pleasant experience.....I was sort of just.....numb.

This week has not been a barrel of laughs. At all.

I'm not saying this for pity, or to be dramatic, I'm just stating fact: I've been a mess. Band was better on Wednesday, because it took my mind off of everything for a few hours. I yelled as loud as I could when giving commands and when counting, because that also helped with distraction.

This is sort of bringing back memories of The Aleks Incident because, it's kind of similar, but 99% different.

I miss Justin, and I miss everything we had this summer, because it was so great. So fun, and hilarious and exciting, and....just everything. But I'm glad that we're still best friends. No, things won't be the same as they were all summer, but that's okay. What's meant to happen will happen, and is happening. I'm happy we're still able to be best friends and in each others lives, no matter how much it freaking hurts, or how much I've cried, or the sleep that's been evading me all week. When we're older, or maybe even sooner than that, who knows what will happen?

But for now, I guess I'm just happy knowing that we're still best friends that care so much about each other, living only an hour away.

Another painful thing this summer has been the fact that one of my best friends, Teresa, is now at college. And she left on Tuesday morning, which was horrendous timing. I guess all of my problems started on Tuesday! Haha.

Yeah, I miss her so freaking much. I miss all of my friends, but her maybe the most. Her leaving is pretty much like how Cynthia was in a camp out of state for like, half of the summer, except this is for even longer.

She's having tons of fun and I'm happy and excited for her, but I also miss her like crazy!!!! And she hasn't even been gone for a week. I love you, HP <3

So the moral of the story is that I wish this summer never ever had to end. I'd like it if things went back to the way they were a week or two ago (I say two because then Michael would still be home). I like that a freaking ton.

But I know that it's not going to happen (obviously), but I'd be so happy if it did. I miss everyone and the way things have been, but it's okay. Not preferable, but.....there's really nothing I can do about it. (Hey, does anyone have a time machine????!!).

When I'm upset, I tend to look at my quote book for comfort, probably because as you know, humans crave someone to identify with. They want to know they're not alone in how they feel, because often, it seems like they are. I always look for quotes or songs that I can relate to for comfort for that very reason.

On Tuesday, when I was struggling to find words, and deal with everything right after we broke up, I told Justin a quote, and also made it my status on Facebook. It's sort of become my mantra this week: "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it's yours." There's another part on the end of that which I try to ignore, because it's sort of negative. "......If it doesn't, it never was."

Somehow, I know that everything will be okay. I'm so thankful for all of my friends, no matter where they are right now. And I'm lucky to have all of them.

Sorry this was kind of a bizarre post.

I'm off to finish getting ready to go shopping!! Hopefully retail therapy will help.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

So many things......

2011-08-25T15:38:00.002-04:00

Song on Repeat: "Bulletproof Weeks" by Matt Nathanson

Mood: tired

"So what happened

To bulletproof weeks

in your arms?

What happened to feeling

Cheap radio songs?

What happened to thinking

That the world was flat?

What happened?"

Yeah, I kind of freaking adore that song right now. Just saying.

You should go listen to it.

(I'm totally not listening to it for the fourth time today or anything).

I have a ton of stories to tell you, mostly about Band Camp, but I also don't really have time to tell them, since I'm leaving to go set up a booth for freshmen to sign up for Quint at Back To School Night/Freshie Orientation in a few minutes.

I basically started this post just to let you know that I am not, in fact, dead or anything. And I'll be writing a legit post either tomorrow or Friday.

All I'm going to say for now, is that I wish I could go back in time a little bit, just to this past weekend, and stay there. I don't want summer to ever end. I wish it could stay the way it was a few days ago. Forever.

Yeah. I'd do anything for that.

I pinkie promise I'll write another post in the next couple days.

Go look up some Matt Nathanson in the meantime.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Keeping Promises!

2011-08-13T15:10:00.004-04:00

Song on Repeat: "Beautiful Disaster" by Jon McLaughlin

Mood: TIRED, sore

"She would change everything

Everything, just ask her

Caught in the in between

Of beautiful disaster"

Well hello there! I'm actually doing what I said I would for once! And yes, that means......posting on the weekend!!! Which I learned a couple years ago was sort of a "no-no" for bloggers. Well, at least the people who are super lucky and have a gazillion people reading and commenting. (Not that I'm jealous or anything.....).

But I'm doing it anyway.

As I mentioned in my last post, this past week was the first week of Band Camp!! It was......crazy.

We were super lucky because the weather was awesome all week. It rained some on Tuesday, but not much, and it was never really that hot. Around 90 was the hottest it got all week, so that was awesome.

We got a ton done!!! It was great. I'm super proud of everyone, because it was so productive! Our director even said it was the best he's seen a band from our school do in the ten years he's been at the school, so that's awesome!!!

I would love to tell you about a certain part of the show that I'm crazy excited about, but I'm not going to in case anyone from my family reads. I'm keeping it a secret until Preview Show, which is next Friday. I'm honestly amazed it's still a secret, but happy, too.

So yeah, it was a really good week. I'm rather sore, and crazy tired despite sleeping for twelve hours last night (I honestly needed more than twelve hours), but it's okay. I pulled a muscle in my butt on Monday (like a pro. And no, I'm unfortunately not kidding), so that made the week super pleasant -sarcasm!- but I wasn't the only person who was crazy sore. Virtually everyone is hobbling around like old people by the end of the week. It's ridiculous.

But we got a ton done, and it was worth it. I have spectacular tan lines (I didn't get burned at all!! It's awesome!), which will get even better next week, and nice muscles in my legs from marching and doing a lot of running.

I swear I exercised more on Monday from eight in the morning until noon than I did the whole rest of the summer. Assistant drum majoring is so fun, even though it's a lot of work. (Well, maybe not that much, but it's a lot of pressure).

Pretty much every muscle in my body is at least a little sore, and I'm so happy to have this weekend to recover. But I wish I was still sleeping right now - I did the math and I spent more time at the school this week than sleeping. Even rehearsing, I spent more time on than sleeping. Ridiculous. But so very worth it.

Today, I said goodbye to Michael. He's leaving for college on Monday. I feel like we hardly ever saw each other this summer, which is really sad because he lives a 30 second walk away.

I'm going to miss him so much again. Seriously.

I feel like all of my friends are leaving me. Well, obviously not all of them, but a good number.

Michael is leaving on Monday, Teresa and Ian are leaving for the first time in less than two weeks, my friend Tom left yesterday (which makes me sad because we were both so busy this summer we didn't see each other at all!), Justin is leaving in a couple weeks.......everyone is leaving me. It makes me want to cry.

When Teresa leaves, I assure you, I will be a mess. It won't be pretty.

I wish everything could stay the same. I wish no one ever had to leave, because it feels like right now, everyone is. I miss people that haven't even left yet.

Change is scary. It's just.....it's awful. I don't want anyone to ever leave me.

At the end of the summer, which, as much as I deny it, is coming in a few weeks, my advisory is going to have to go back to school and meet our new advisor. The person we'll be with for our last two years of high school. I still ask why our old teacher had to be taken away from us. I miss him.

I hate change. And let me tell you, if I could redo my whole sophomore year, starting with last summer in about July, I totally would in a heartbeat.

I know you're supposed to live with no regrets, and I know that every single thing that happens is something that can be learned from, and it makes you who you are, but things are just so hard sometimes. I don't want anyone to leave me.

(Sorry, this is me being really tired and kind of depressed).

Anyway, that's about all I have to say for now. Sorry it changed into all depressing and not fun to read. I'm off to go catch up on the rest of the stuff I've missed on the computer since I've been at band.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

I Fail.

2011-08-05T11:40:00.003-04:00

Song on Repeat: "Here (In Your Arms) by HelloGoodbye

Mood: EXCITED, happy!

I fell in love

In love with you suddenly,

Now there's nowhere else

I could be

But here in your arms"

I'm going to spare you the type of post my Tumblr (yes, I actually have one of those now!) received last night. Lets just say I had such a great day yesterday!!

And my life is......well, life is just really freaking good right now. To the point where I'm kind of scared, because as we all know, when things get too good, bad things start happening to balance things out. Because lets be honest, the Cosmic Rules say somewhere that no one is allowed to be happy all the time.

It's unfortunate.

Anyhoodle, that's not what I want to post about today.

(This is going to be short, or at least that's my intention).

I first of all want to apologize for being lazy and not posting anything this week!! Hence this post. And also, just letting [all two of you] know that I'm going to be taking a two week break from blogging, due to August Band Camp starting on Monday and going until the 19th, which is preview show.

(Kill me now......can we just skip to the 19th? Thanks).

So yeah. Not that you'll miss me too much, but.....

I might post next weekend. We'll see. I know nobody blogs on the weekend, but too bad. If I'm lazy, I won't do it.

(Lazy? Me? I'm totally not sitting here blogging at 11:47 AM on a Friday still wearing my pj's).

I don't really have much to share at the moment. Nothing you'd be interested in, anyway.

This week consisted of a lot of laying around doing nothing, hanging out with Justin, and doing random crap with my parents, sister, etc.

I seriously need to like move in with someone else for a week, because being in my house so much of the summer, even with friends over, DRIVES ME NUTS. Seriously.

Any offers, people?

Tonight, I'm going to a DCI show (woooo!!!!), and tomorrow is my church's annual picnic dealie that they do every year. Which should be fun. Our church band is playing at it (which yes, does include me). Yes, it will certainly be an adventure. If you live near me and want deets about it, you know how to contact me. :-)

Well, I don't have anything else to say right now. I should probably go get dressed and junk....whaaaat? Haha.

I'm off to do that. So psyched for tonight!!!!!

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

She Should've Gone to Rehab (I'm So Original)

2011-07-25T17:45:00.003-04:00

Song on Repeat: "Angels on the Moon" by Thriving Ivory

Mood: Tired, nervous

"Don't tell me if I'm dying

Cause I don't wanna know

If I can't see the sun

Maybe I should go"

Well. I survived marching band last week.

It was an adventure, because it was so freaking hot out!!!! In case you didn't notice. Someone posted this link on Facebook, and I found it accurate (in a bad way).

Nobody died or anything, and we even got cancelled on Friday by the county because the heat was so bad!! One minute we were all grabbing a drink before stretches, the next, packing everything up and calling for rides! It was crazy.

If you do marching band and you're hardcore like our school, you know that rehearsal being cancelled is pretty much unheard of. We didn't cancel when over a third of the band was out sick with the flu my freshman year. Granted this wasn't us, it was the county. Whatever.

We did get a lot done on the two days we had, though! I was glad.

There was a large amount of sweat, but other than that, it was fairly uneventful, which is a good thing.

I'm not exactly looking forward to August Camp, which means two weeks of being outside for about twelve hours, not to mention it's been moved to another school because our school is having construction done, and.....yeah, don't get me started on that.

I'm going to ignore the fact that it's in two weeks until I have to.

I'm also going to ignore the fact that summer is about halfway over.....it's gone by so fast!!!! But I'm not thinking about any of that right now.

It's been super freaking hot everywhere, as I'm sure you all already know. I don't have much else to say right now, other than I hope you're all staying in the air conditioning and not getting dehydrated or anything like that!

Also, aloe is a marvelous investment.

It can be used as shaving cream, hair gel, gets rid of acne, makes bug bites stop itching, and makes sunburn feel better.

I personally keep a large bottle in my room and use it for everything (ask any of my friends).

How are you all keeping cool in this awful heat? Leave a comment and let me know!!

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

When Did My Life Become a Taylor Swift Song? (Not That It's a Bad Thing)

2011-07-19T15:38:00.003-04:00

Song on Repeat: "Mine" by Taylor Swift

Mood: Tired

"Do you remember

We were sitting there by the water

You put your arm around me

For the first time"

I really need a hobby (besides band), because otherwise, I just sit around doing this:

Computer. Three tabs.

Tab One: Facebook

Tab Two: YouTube, listening to Taylor Swift songs

Tab Three: Blogger

Raise your hand if your name is Katie and you need a life!!! Yeah.

Anyhoodle.

So this summer has been wonderful so far :-)

It's been insanely different than I expected it to be. Like 99.8% different.

What's met my expectations was basically having tons of fun at DMA and Camp, and learning lots. Other than that, it's been so great, in unexpected ways.

For example.....I didn't know just how much I would learn at DMA!!!!!! Seriously. I told you how much I learned there, but it still just blows my mind. I feel like I'm a 100% better leader because of it.

As for Camp, I learned a lot about my ability as a musician. I got to experience what it was like to be last chair for the first time ever (not saying I'm that good, I've just never been last chair). It was a different experience to be playing music that was truly difficult, as opposed to just a small challenge, like the music I've been playing at school is. There were things I actually had to practice, which I'd never done at Camp before.

(To be honest, I rarely practice in general because the music we usually play at school is easy, and I'm too lazy to do things like lips slurs, etc). It's terrible, I know.

Oh, and speaking of practicing, I'll be doing that with my marching band music tonight.

But anyway, I digress. What were we talking about? Oh yeah, ways this summer has been different than expected.

Yes, to sum up what I've been ranting about, I learned a lot more than expected.

Another thing is, of course, lets be honest: I never expected at all to be dating my best guy friend. That's another reason this summer has been so great. (If you're reading.......hi Justin!)

Then, there's also something marching band related that is still a secret to certain people who might be reading this, so I won't tell until they find out. Lets just say I literally screamed, fell off my chair, and started crying when I found out. No exaggeration. Yeah. It's exciting news.

I'd be really happy if this summer never ended, just kept going like it has been since it started. That would be really nice.

Tomorrow begins July mini marching band camp!!!! I'm a combination of excited and, well, not excited. The main issue is being outside in the lovely 90 and 100 degree weather that we're being blessed with this week. (Everyone......pray for rain!!!! lol). It's not going to be pretty. Yay for disgusting amounts of sweat, feeling lightheaded and nauseous. This should be interesting. On the plus side, I should be excited because of the whole "Assistant Drum Major" thing. That's super exciting!!!!!!! I guess nervous should be added to my list of feelings. I just want to be.....perfect. To not mess up anything at all. We'll see how that goes. But you won't be hearing from me until next week, most likely. Not that I always post twice in a week, but I'm just letting you know.

Well, that's about all I can think of for right now. I'll leave you with a few of my favorite "Summer Songs." And if you're greatly opposed to country music, don't bother trying to listen. I generally only listen to country, because it's summery music to me.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Katie [The BleuTrumpet]'s Summer Playlist

~Summertime by Kenny Chesney (my essential summer song. I listen to it all the time!)

~Anything But Mine by Kenny Chesney (to continue the Kenny Chesney songs. It really makes me think of a summer night, and I love the video)

~Summer Thing by Troy Olsen (continuing the country thing)

~Fireflies by Owl City (There are only fireflies during the summer, I heard it for the first time when I got it free on iTunes before it was popular during I believe late summer......it's just a summer song!)

~New York to California by Mat Kearney (his voice is a summer night. I love his voice so much)

~Here Comes the Sun by the Beatles (How can you not imagine summer sun listening to this?)

~All We Are by Matt Nathanson (just how his voice sounds in this <3)

~Save Your Best by Steve Reynolds (I like this song......another summer night).

~Mine by Taylor Swift (don't hate.....I love T-Swift!)

Well think that's enough. What are your default summer songs?

A Letter (Unfortunately, Not One Inviting Me to Attend Hogwarts)

2011-07-14T16:27:00.003-04:00

Dear Childhood,

This is your last notice, informing and reminding you that you will be removed from the premesis starting tonight at approximately midnight. Your final removal, starting then, will take a couple of hours, tears, tissues and chocolate. As you may have guessed, it will be painful.

I'm aware that this event has been on the verge of happening for a while, and although yes, as even J.K. Rowling herself said, I'll be able to visit you. But it won't be the same.

You will be greatly missed, and mourned, because visiting will never equal the original experiences had with you.

I hope you've enjoyed your stay with Katie [The Bleutrumpet].

Please remove all posessions by the time we leave the theater.....it will be less painful that way.

Sincerely,

The Management

Now, as most of you know, I'm a pretty huge Harry Potter Geek. Definitely not as much as some people (especially Teresa), but still. The books, and movies, have played a huge part in my life. And to finally have to accept that there is nothing more coming is terrible.

I remember reading Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone for the first time, with The Father, when I was in first grade. I started reading the books because my lovely friend Anastasia had been reading them, and mentioned them to The Mother. I'm so glad she did. The Father read the first book to me, but I took care of the others by myself. I remember specifically one night, in fact the night that I got the book, having a bad stomach ache while we were out to dinner at Olive Garden, and then going home and having The Father read it to me while I rode out the stomach ache before going to bed (I used to have major stomach issues.....not so much now, thank goodness). The book, story, and characters captured my attention from the first time reading it. I remember feeling like I was flying with Harry on a broom, or fighting and defeating Voldemort in the hidden rooms under the third floor corridor after sneaking past Fluffy.

Even as I, the characters, and the stories grew up, I still felt as though I was there with them through the whole thing. Reading each book for the first time, there was a sense of wonder. I loved it. I specifically remember reading Goblet of Fire the first time, because I hated the first chapter. It wasn't even about Harry and didn't seem relevant at all, so I was frustrated by having to read it. In fact, it took reading it a few times for me to like it. Now, it's one of my favorite chapters in all of the books, because it's different, and might seem irrelevant. Although, as any of you who have read all of the books knows, every single detail of the books should be given attention, as they probably come up in the final book. J.K. Rowling is clearly a genius for putting everything needed in the earlier books so that the final one makes sense.

I would love, more than anything on the planet, to be like her. Although I know that's more likely than not, not happening. She is my hero and inspiration. She transported me to faraway adventures, and still does, even today. I'm not six anymore; I'm sixteen. Yet her books still speak to me. They're familiar in the way my own home is, and when I'm really upset, I pick one up and start reading, because it gives me comfort. She has spoken to so many people, and given them hope. I may not be going through what some people are when they cling to the books for comfort, and I may not be the most devoted fan on the planet (that has changed with time, unfortunately), but I know that, just as its creator said, Hogwarts will still be there for me whenever I come looking for it. Unchanging, welcoming me with open arms, back to it, a home for me like it was for Harry.

After tonight, there will never be another new movie. There will never be a new addition to the story (although she's mentioned possibly writing more Potter books, I don't think she should). The books and movies will remain on my shelf, becoming more dog-eared and worn, but loved, always.

Well, I'm off to relax, since I'm going to the midnight premiere with Teresa, her friend, Richard, and Justin tonight. I hope Hogwarts remains for you all as well.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

It's Been Too Long....

2011-07-12T17:50:00.002-04:00

Song on Repeat: "The Lazy Song" by Bruno Mars

Mood: my tummy kinda hurts....

"Today I don't feel like doing anything

I just wanna lay in my bed

Don't feel like picking up my phone,

So leave a message at the tone"

You have to admit I've been doing better than expected at posting this summer. I mean, it's been ten days since I last posted, but that's not entirely my fault. I was going to the other day, and then got distracted by something like being yelled at. Or something.

Anyhoodle. I'm here now; that's the point.

Have I mentioned before how much I adore summer?

(That was a rhetorical question, because I've mentioned it a ton of times).

I love being able to stay up late (usually midnight), and then wake up whenever the heck I feel like it (today, I was woken up by my mother at 12:50, but I usually wake up around 11:30). Summer is just like......happiness. Swimming, catching fireflies, laughing until you cry, getting sunburned or tan (lets face it, getting burned a little bit is almost unavoidable no matter how much sunscreen you wear and it's just kind of the price you pay for summer. So its almost worth it), going to concerts, being outside all day, and those unforgettable summer nights that are magical.

Night is the time that I'm most active during summer. I love it.

Especially sitting out by a campfire, singing with Michael while he and Sister Dearest play guitar like we did last summer, or swimming in the pool by the light of the moon and the lights in the pool. Sitting in the hot tub at night is even better. Running around the yard barefoot catching fireflies, and panting from the effort, but it's so worth it, no matter how old you are.

Summer.

It's magical.

I'm so happy to be living it right now.

So I have happy news to share with you all.

Remember my lovely Best Friend Justin that I've been mentioning every once and a while for the past couple of years?

Well, we're now dating!! And I'm so happy. Well, both of us are. It's not really a "just for the summer" thing.....it just happened to happen during the summer.

When fall comes and he goes back to college, we're going to be taking things one day at a time. But for now, we've been together for a week and I'm very happy about it.

I guess it's one of those "it was going to happen eventually" things. We'll see.

Let me think......other updates on my life.....well, we got an iMac!!! Which I'm currently using. I like it, it's nice. I was hesitant to switch from a PC to this, but I like it so far. There are different things, but it's a lot faster and cooler than our old computer (although lets be honest, a slug is faster than our old computer).

How many of you are going to see Harry Potter at the midnight premiere?!?! (And say goodbye to your childhood!)

I am. And yes, I'll be an emotional mess afterword. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it though.

Well, I'm off to do......something else.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

All I Ever Wanted......

2011-07-02T16:37:00.003-04:00

Song on Repeat: "All I Ever Wanted" by Kelly Clarkson
Mood: Exhausted, upset, and kind of numb
"All I ever wanted,
all I ever wanted
Was a simple way to get over you
All I ever wanted,
all I ever wanted
Was an in-between to escape this desperate scene
Where every lie reveals the truth
Baby cause I all ever wanted
All I ever wanted was you"

I'm back from being a riduculous amount of busy!!! woot!!
To say that I'm tired is an understatement. Currently (for multiple reasons), I'm mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. I'd love to go to bed, sleep for a week, and wake up to find that the events of Friday had never happened. Unfortunately, that's not possible. But we'll get into that later.

DMA (Drum Major Academy) was all kinds of fun!!!! Granted it did tire me out like crazy, but it was still so great. I probably have at least fifteen pages front and back filled with notes. I learned so freaking much, especially about being a leader.
I really wasn't sure what to expect, because they advertise the camp in general as a "positively life changing experience." Well, that was so true.
I'm already different than I was when I went, maybe in a few subtle ways, but still, different.
The best example is definitely something fairly small.
During the Leadership Weekend, we talked a lot about doing little things and changing the world. One of those little things was flushing an unflushed toilet in a public bathroom. Lets be honest here, raise your hand if you just walk by the stall with the unflushed toilet (come on, who's too lazy to even flush a freaking toilet?!). I'll be honest, I've always done that. We all know the right thing is to flush it. But do we? No.
Well, because of that discussion, I flushed at least seven toilets while at Camp this past week, and felt great about it! I mean, yeah it's something small, but doesn't it make things better for other people?
That's a big part of being a leader.
And maybe if you're reading this, you might think to flush some toilets too.
Overall, that camp was just such a great experience. I definitely packed more carefully when going there (but we still made a WalMart run the first night), since my parents were ten hours away instead of twenty minutes.
Katy and I ate a lot of unhealthy food (we pretty much lived off snack food.....sneak preview of college? Probably). We also met a TON of amazing people, and are so much more prepared for July Band Camp (but I don't even want to think about that right now, to be honest).
Have you ever had an experience like the camp that made you rethink things, and change yourself for the better? Feel free to share (all three of you who read this, lol).

Last Saturday after our final performance/demonstration, we packed up and drove home. We got home at about one in the morning. I slept until ten, then got up, ate breakfast, packed, practiced, and left for Camp. A very rushed day.
I auditioned and got into the higher level band!! Which was extremely exciting. Our whole group of friends (which was cut down to only four people this year), was in that band, so it was highly convenient.
Cynthia didn't come this year (which was insanely unfortunate), but we had tons of fun anyway!! I learned a lot there too, because the music was definitely challenging. I'm used to fairly easy music at school (because I'm not in Wind Ensemble).
Theory class was boring. That was honestly probably the worst part.
It was just such a young camp this year!! The number of people attending was a lot less than it had been in previous years (which my little group knows well, since half of our group wasn't there!), and it was mostly younger people. But it was still a great experience!
I can't believe I'm going to be a junior! And next year will be my last year at Camp!!! Crazy much?! Ahhhh!!!

(Enter one of my strange metaphors)

Have you ever been in a situation where the right thing is the complete opposite of what you want to do?
Well, maybe not exactly the right thing, but the expected, less risky, thing your parents would expect you to do, thing.
That.
For example......your best friend of the opposite gender asks you to go to a party they're having. That friend is a few years older, and more experienced with the type of things that go on at those parties.
You know your parents would never let you go to the party, and you're worried about what would go on there if you went, so you say no, you won't go. Even though you really freaking want to go to that party. It would be awesome, and your friend is very convincing.
But still, you say no.
When you get home after being asked to the party at school, you tell your friends about being invited and cry (a lot), because you really wish you could go. It would be such a great party. But you're not going because you're not allowed.....that kind of party is for people older than you, and although you didn't even ask your parents, you know they'll say no. And you don't want to sneak out to the party, because you wouldn't have nearly as much fun, because you'd feel guilty for sneaking out, and wouldn't want to get caught.
But what if you stretched the truth? Said you were going over to the house of whoever was having the party, just to hang out, and then partied? It wouldn't be a lie. And only you and the people there would know. You wouldn't have to feel completely guilty, because you did what you said you were doing.....you just didn't describe the full extent of your plans.
In the end, although that party is so tempting, and it's causing you such anguish because you want to go so bad, and going to that party would be fun and a risk (you're a teenager, that kind of stuff is your job!), you sigh and say no, you're not going. Tell the person having the party to have fun without you.
And meanwhile, this whole time, you're wondering why whoever's having the party asked you, of all people. There are so many other people the person could invite; but they chose you. And you're throwing it away, because you're scared, and because you don't want to be in trouble.
You regret having to make the choice, because although the person having the party is still going to be your friend, you're going to have to deal with the fact that the person invited you to this party that you really wanted to go to.
But you said no.

Well, I must say that out of all of my metaphors, that one has made the most sense (as least to me).
Hooray for using all of that brain power!!

That's about it for now. I'm too tired to write more.

I'm off to text Teresa and watch some tv.

I hope all of your summers are going wonderfully so far!!!

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Tying Up Loose Ends

2011-06-16T18:08:00.004-04:00

Song on Repeat: "Wedding Dress" by Matt Nathanson
Mood: tired, EXCITED!!!!!
"In your wedding dress
To have and to hold,
And even at my best,
Don't wanna let go"

Hello there!
I neglected to mention some semi-important things in my last post.

Thing One: Monday was my birthday!!
Thing Two: I'll be going on a vacation from blogging until July after this post, due to Drum Major Camp and Camp! Sorry for any inconvenience.

So yes.
For my birthday, I got a lovely iPod touch fourth generation, which is the new one with the two cameras!!! It's super exciting. I enjoy Skype.
The only bad thing is that I probably shouldn't be using Facebook on it, since I'm constantly going on and off it while I have it in my hands.
Addiction? No.
Habit? Yes.
I can't help it! And I'm constantly on Skype also, because my lovely Best Friend Justin dropped his phone in a pool (like a pro), so Skype and Facebook are the only ways we can talk right now. But I'm giving him my old phone (eventually), so this arrangement shouldn't last too terribly long. Not that talking to him is 100% necessary, but we do talk a lot. Plus, it will be helpful to have internet while I'm gone to keep people from spamming my wall on Facebook. (I've seen the damage my friends can do, and thoroughly hate being spammed. so please, if you're reading this, PLEASE DON'T SPAM ME!!!!! Thanks).
Anyhoodle.

In other news, yes, Drum Major camp!!! Super exciting!
My friend Katy is going too, which makes it even more exciting!
"Why is she going?" is a FAQ.
Well, our boosters paid for two people to go, not realizing it was during the same week as our June Band camp for marching band. And since both drum majors can't miss the camp, and Katy was the only person besides the two of us to audition, she's going too. And I'm really excited! As is she. (Excited might be an understatement).
We're leaving tomorrow for the camp, which is at Ball State. It's about a ten hour drive, which isn't long compared to other trips I've been on. It will certainly be an adventure, and I'm looking at it as practice for when I (hopefully) am at Northwestern, which is even further away.
AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Have I mentioned I'm excited?

To be honest, I haven't tried accessing Blogger on my iPod yet, so I'm not sure how well it will work, but if possible, I'll try to post something short once or twice this week. (It's a pain to type long messages on an iPod, in case you don't know from experience).

Today was the last day of school, and I'm so freaking glad. This has been the worst year school year of my life, and I'm very keen on a fresh start this summer. I look at marching band as the start of the new year, since it's a different band each year. Things are looking pretty darn good, and I'm eager to leave the past behind. While some things, like losing my teacher, are hard to leave behind, I'm trying to be more positive at least. And he is certainly influencing the way I approach school now. I want him to watch me, and everyone else in my advisory graduate, from heaven, and be proud of what we all accomplished.
Next year's schedule is looking tough; I'm taking two (possibly/probably three....gotta change my schedule) AP classes, plus being assistant drum major, plus being editor in chief of the school literary magazine (again).
I can do this.
But for now, it's summer.
Time for Camp, time for swimming and relaxing, friends, and fun.
Bring it!!

I hope your summer starts out as well as mine is going to :-)

Well, I'm off to pack and put some new music on my iPod.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

I Wish My Titles Were More Witty.

2011-06-09T16:19:00.004-04:00

Song on repeat: "The Good Life" by Three Days Grace
Mood: I don't want to be active.
"All I want is a little
Of the good life,
All I need
Is to have a good time,
ohhhhhh the good life"

Today in my bio class, I was working on a Glog for a project which, naturally, gave me the strong urge to blog. So here I am! But also, I knew that I should blog again this week. Because i'm a nice person. Plus, I'm going to be going on another leave of absence soon, so I should give you things to read while I still can, right? yeah.

So this week, possibly Monday, I put a link to here on my facebook profile, under the little "contact info" section. Which, no, I hadn't done until then. What kept me from doing it before?
Well, the little voice in the back of my mind telling me that I don't want everyone on the planet reading. But then I realized that, well, that's the point. Wasn't I just recently talking about getting more readers?
I want more readers, and, lets face it, it's not like all my experiences are unique. Maybe if more people from my school read, they'd find out I'm not the weird, stuck up band geek that people think I am. Granted, it's not like anyone is actually going to check it out. But hey, the possibility now exists, right?
If you're a new reader and got here from my link on facebook, comment here, write on my wall or send me a message on facebook; I want to know you're here, and what you think!
And yes, my account is totally private, so random people can't just stop by and get the link from my profile.
Anyhoodles.

This marching band season is seriously looking good. (Allow me a few minutes to discuss band. I never said I'm not a band geek, I won Biggest Band Geek at the band banquet a few weeks ago!). I'm assistant drum major (as you know), and.....well, everything is just all happy and exciting! The prospect of a new, clean slate. No more being around The Ex constantly (no, I don't hate him, it's just nice to be starting new), no more of the worries of last season....it's just refreshing. Sort of like the beginning of a school year, or even a regular year. There are endless possibilies. It's such a good feeling! I can't wait to get back into the Busy Season, aka summer until the end of October......yay band!
I'm excited though. So very excited.
There's rehersal tonight, and my lovely Best Friend Justin is coming to visit, which is exciting (even though I just saw him last Friday, and I'm seeing him again Sunday, but still.)
My section isn't as crazy annoying as I expected, although being the only girl is a tad more terrifying than I expected it to be. But still fun. Everyone acts like they hate me, especially my friend Richard, but they don't. It's fun.
Something different about this season was that we all immediately became a family. I mean, the whole band is a family, but even within that. Last year, it took a while for that to happen, and even then, I don't think it was like this (although I could be slightly biased, since I was just wishing it was freshman year again the whole season).

What else......well, the year is really coming to a close. There are four and a half days left (the last day is a half day), and I can't wait to just get this year over with. It's been terrible.
I'm still doing work in all of my classes (besides gym, in there it's only kind of because it's the last class of the day and everyone is lazy and doesn't want to do anything).
Yeah, it needs to be over. Seriously. Everyone is going crazy. Apparently there was a food fight today. that's ridiculous. And I'm pretty sure a large part of it was the freshmen. GRRRRR. So immature.

Well I'm off to mess around on iTunes, eat, and get ready for band.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

I Fail At Posting. Because I'm Lazy.

2011-06-05T13:16:00.002-04:00

Song on Repeat: "In Another Life" by Madina Lake
Mood: Tired
But there's something I've gotta know
Before we say goodbye:
Will I ever see you again
Somewhere in another life?

Tv is obviously very distracting, because I've been sitting here for at least twenty minutes with this post open watching Freaky Friday instead of writing this post. Holy cannoli.

So.....the year is almost over. The school year, anyway. And as it's winding down, naturally, I've been thinking back over it. A lot of things have happened this year, and although I'm not going to get into all of that until the year is actually over. But I have been looking back at things that have happened, and I'm not really sure what to think.

There's the overwhelming sadness that comes with a couple of my best friends graduating, how sad I am about friends that graduated last year being gone still, and nervousness about getting older and having more responsibilities. Changes are unavoidable, but that doesn't make them any less scary.
Having to find my way without someone like Teresa or Michael, who is a close friend and has been there, done that is an intimidating prospect. It's not that they're gone forever, it's that they're not around constantly anymore.
Things change, and it's just......hard. I wish they didn't have to, but it's unavoidable.

I'm looking forward to summer though. I was recently reading this blog, and its author, Eleni asked in a post what her readers were most looking forward to about summer. After thinking for a minute, all I could think about wasn't so much summer itself, but those nights that you can't forget, and want to never end. And even though it's not officially summer yet, I've already had one of those. Last night, I went to my ex boyfriend's graduation party last night. I was insanely nervous to go, but once I got there, had tons of fun. It was slightly awkward, since no one but me, him and one other person (of the kids/teens) there knew we used to date. But if they had known, it still would have been awkward. But we were playing Man Hunt in his yard. I love that. You can't play it any time but summer nights, otherwise it's not the same. I love it.
What are your favorite summer moments? (Yes, I'm copying this lol.)

i'm off to go driving.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

ME

Story of My Life.

2011-05-20T15:53:00.002-04:00

Song on Repeat: "Say" by John Mayer
Mood: Tired
"Have no fear for givin' in
Have no fear for givin' over
You better know that in the end
It's better to say too much
Than to never to
Say what you need to say again"

Hello there, readers!

Lately, I've been thinking about why I started blogging.
It was in the spring of seventh grade. I wanted to try it out, because I love writing (as you know), and thought it would be fun for other people to read about my life. You know, besides my friends. Here is my first post.....so long ago!
I hope you realize how much has changed since then, (mostly in my writing, because lets face it, I'm just as much of a spazz as back then).
But anyways, back to the original point.
I wasn't sure what to expect at first, but after finding people like Frank and Tia, I knew that I wanted to be like them, with a lot of people reading and enjoying it. Granted they are, you know, adults and therefore have more interesting things to write about, but still.
It's obviously not delurking week (I'm a pro at missing that every year), but it would be nice, since I've been chilling out here for about three years, to know who's reading. Leave a comment, tell me how fabulous I am (because we all know it's true) (Kidding, clearly). Get rid of the monotony.
Honestly, one of the best parts of blogging, besides putting your feelings out there for people to see, is getting comments on it. So let me hear it!
Plus, I haven't gotten many comments lately.

In other news.
Today was my school's unity day. As my history teacher described it, "We show our diversity by having everyone wear the same shirt." Unity Day is where everyone gets a free shirt that says stuff about our school be unified ("We Are One"), and then we all wear it and there's an assembly. It's a lot of fun. At the assembly, students talk and present about being bullied or experiences in the school that have changed them, and how we should all remember how our words affect other people, etc.
Last year, they did it "Post Secret" themed. We were just given a blank colored little piece of paper to write a secret, or whatever we wanted, on (without our name on it). At the assembly, they did a slideshow of a lot of the secrets. It was really amazing, all the things classmates were going through, and moving. This year, we were given a piece of paper that said "If you really knew me....." and just wrote what we wanted to and finished the sentence. I wish they had shown more, like they did last year, but it was still really cool. The one that everyone was talking about was one that said the person was going to marry a girl from our school. It was adorable!
They also had students speak about their experiences, as I mentioned before, and I think that was really good, because people could really hear how people were affected, not just see it written on a piece of paper.
My friend was one of the speakers, and came out as bisexual. In front of the entire school. It was so inspiring to see her do that, and I'm so proud of her!
And, just so you know, my paper was not on the powerpoint this year or last year (but then again, my handwriting is so distinctive, you could probably tell if one of them was mine, haha).

It feels like everything is falling together.
Quint is going to be done getting printed on Sunday! We should have it at the school by Tuesday, which is really freaking exciting!!!!!
Rookie camp was Wednesday and Thursday, and nothing went horribly wrong! I can honestly say that so far, even though we're only two rehersals (that aren't even really officially rehersals) into the season, I'm having a ton of fun being assistant drum major. I love running around and getting things done. I'm not really used to "having power" yet, but it'll take a little while, I'm sure. It's going pretty well so far from what I can see. The band seems like it's really small, but that could also have to do with the fact that there are no tall people. At all. Literally everyone is pretty much the same height, give or take a couple inches. It's rediculous. And I'm almost a junior.....the second to oldest......this will be my third season. That's freaking crazy!!!! I still remember my first day of marching band.....rookie camp in eighth grade. Well, admittedly not every single detail. I DO remember meeting my friend Justin and fascinating him with the fact that I could already march, due to Junior Band Camp the previous summer, and therefore, didn't need many pointers on it. And I vaguely remember being that sore the next day, but I've been sore from band so many times that they all just kind of blend together. So that doesn't really stick out. I also remember talking to my friend in my homeroom who is also and band, about how we were both sore. Band kind of brought us together, we're better friends now than we have been since back in early elementary school when we met.
Sorry about that rant, but other than that, I also think that I'm doing better in my classes. It's probably due to my stress level being down way lower than it has been for months.

Well, I'm off to watch a movie.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Saturday May 14, 2011: Eyeballs, Prom, and Other Things

2011-05-14T20:48:00.003-04:00

Song on Repeat: "The One That Got Away" by Katy Perry
Mood: Bored, tired
"In another life
I would be your girl,
We'd keep all our promises,
Be us against the world"

Sorry that it's been like, a century (or a month) since I last posted.....you would not believe the amount of stressed I've been.
But now, thank goodness, it's all good.

Holy wow, it really HAS been forever since I've posted!!!! You don't know ANY of the big stuff that's been going on!!
(Due to having The Plague, which has finally gone away by the way, and being busy and stressed).
To save you all from reading a long, boring post about all gazillion things that happened, I'll make this short.

Good Things That Have Been Happening:
~I got my learner's permit on April 14th!!! (So apparently, exactly a month ago! You'll definitely be hearing driving stories).
~Quint (my school's lit mag) is now officially at Staples, in the process of being published!
~The biggest news of all......brace yourself (if you don't know already).....
I'M ASSISTANT DRUM MAJOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And these things are all clearly proof that when things are so bad and you just kind of want to off yourself from stress and being upset and feeling like everything that could go wrong has, and if one more thing goes wrong you won't be able to take it......things get better.
They really do.
I do feel like Charlie Brown when he said "I think I'm afraid to be happy because whenever I get too happy, something bad always happens." Because that's kind of true. It's sort of karma....no one is truely happy ALL the time. And if there really is someone like that, then they're really freaking lucky.
But my life right now.....well, it's like God rewarding me for putting up with all of the crap I've had to deal with lately. But also, the product of all the work.....making the suffering worth it.
I actually wrote an essay for my English class about this topic recently, and totally should have used my life right now as an example, but at that point, everything hadn't come together yet.
Right now, all these good things are happening, but I'm also trying to remind myself not to take the little things for granted, and think of them as less important.
Life is just......so good.
In addition to all of those things, my College Kids are all coming home!
Michael got home last Sunday (a wonderful Mother's Day present for his mommy!), Teresa's sister got home (not sure exactly what day), and my friends Katie and Justin are getting home on Wednesday.
So. Freaking. Happy.
Every time Michael is home, I know that I say that all is right in the world again. But it's the truth! My "brother" is home, and everything is normal.
It's a wonderful feeling.

So you're probably wondering about the "eyeballs" part of my title.
This is so random, but I just randomly though about it earlier and thought you all might find it amusing.
When I was younger, I used to be terrified that my eyeballs would fall out. No lie.
By "younger," I mean much, like elementary school age. But yes, it's true.
I honestly have no idea where the fear started, but I have vivid memories of lying in bed, touching my closed eyelids every minute or so to make sure that my eyeballs still felt the same under the lids, and weren't any smaller; if they were, it HAD to mean they were going to fall out the back of my head and roll into my stomach.
A strange fear, yes, but it seriously scared me for several years, at which point I either forgot about it for some reason, or figured out that it wasn't actually going to happen.
What can I say? I wasn't the most normal child.
Did any of you have strange fears like that?

So tonight was my school's senior prom.
Earlier in the year, a few months ago, there was the possibility of me going to two proms. Then, it was narrowed down to only one, and then finally, none.
So I'm spending the evening alone, being bored and tired from a long week. But that's perfectly fine with me; that means managing to make it to junior year without going to a prom. It's whatever. Not good, or bad. I don't mind.
But a a large number of my friends are going, and from the pictures I've seen so far, and they all look gorgeous!!!! and I hope all of them are having a fantabulous time.

Well I'm off to watch a little more Degrassi, shower, and go to bed!

Expect more frequent posts from now on, since everything is back to normal.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

I Have the PLAGUE.

2011-04-22T12:17:00.002-04:00

Song on Repeat: "Some Beach" by Blake Shelton
Mood: Tired, excited!
"Some beach somewhere
There's a beautiful sunset
Burning up the atmosphere
Music and dancin' and lovers romancin'
In the salty evening air
On some beach somewhere"

Sorry for not posting......I've been rather sick. Seriously.
I stayed home from school for two days, which I never do, because I had a fever. I've pretty much been feeling like crap for a little less than two weeks.....not pleasant.
So that's my excuse for not posting.

I don't really have time to do a real post right now, since I have to finish getting ready for the party I'm having for Quint, my school's literary magazine.....yeah, that's sort of a disaster right now. Long story.
Publication.....let's just say it's making my life very stressful at the moment.

I shall do a real post at some point this coming week (since as we all know, nobody blogs on weekends.....or so I've heard).

I'm off to get ready.

Happy Easter, everyone!!!

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Today Probably Could Have Gone Better.

2011-04-08T16:00:00.002-04:00

Song on Repeat: "Dental Care" by Owl City Mood: Getting close to hyper..... "I've been to the dentist A thousand times So I know the drill, I smooth my hair, Sit back in the chair But somehow, I still get the chills" Yeah, no clue why that song is in my head right now. Anyhoos. Wow, I just took a long break from blogging to chat Teresa on facebook, have a conversation with my friend Katy on a wall post on Teresa's wall, and look at a bazillion class descriptions to try and HELP TERESA WIN AT COLLEGE. Just saying. (You needed those details). You know what's really annoying? Politics. For serious. Especially people who constantly voice their opinions on it, and if their views are different from yours. Which is why I try to have very few views. Obviously, as discussed on here before, my main issue is gay rights. I'm not sure why, other than it's seriously unfair that people just like you and me are treated so much differently than everyone else. Anyway, my point being that some people just like to announce their views to the world, and are so prepared to argue them and make those opposed to them seem wrong. And I'm aware I seem like a hypocrite for saying that. But when it comes to people having the same rights as everyone else, isn't it like when we wanted blacks to have the same rights as whites? If you think it's different, how is it different? It's not. It makes me really think about people who are "Christian" like Westboro Baptist Church. I've said it once, and I'll say it again: doesn't God want us to love everyone? Equally? People who are so hateful to a group like anti-gays are just make me furious. [by the way, this was not meant to take up so much of this post, lol]. So.....yeah, my point was if you're going to be so hateful, rude, and cruel towards a group, please don't say anything at all. I don't care if you feel strongly about it, just don't say anything. Also, (just to finish discussing this issue), I recently read someone's comment saying that it was ok for gay people to be treated like everyone else, but don't let them try to make you like them or something to that effect......I'm not gay, but I know for a fact it's not something you choose any more than you can choose the color of your skin. Do you know what's dumb? The MVA. How does it make sense that you need your social security card and birth certificate to get your freaking learners permit? Like reallyyyyyyy??? I don't care if they want to make it more secure or whatever, how do they know you didn't just take them from someone else? In my opinion, it makes more sense to have like, your birth certificate and school ID to get it. Everyone in middle and high school where I come from gets an ID, (I guess besides those who are homeschooled, but still, they could get one somehow), so isn't that more reasonable? The rules could be different for those out of high school. I don't know. Well I have to eat and get ready to go to a concert for my favorite band with my friend Maddie!!!!!!! Have a great weekend! Peace, Magic, and Music, ~*Me*~

I Have Been Traumatized.

2011-04-04T16:03:00.002-04:00

"Big Yellow Taxi" by Counting Crows "Don't it always seem to go That you don't know what you got till it's gone They paved paradise and put up a parkin' lot" Mood: AHHHHHHH. I don't even know. So I linked that song on my facebook because, to be quite honest, it's so freaking true, and somehow, despite this post, I NEVER TAKE MY OWN ADVICE AND DO IT. It's awful. So when something like today happens, it's like a smack in the face. Don't panic, (like you were actually going to. but still), it's nothing REALLY bad. Today, out of nowhere, we found out that one of our band directors quit, and is now going to be a director at a college about 45 minutes from here (it's actually where Andrew [The Old Drum Major] goes). It was completely out of nowhere though! As far as I'm aware, there were no rumors at all leading up to today. We found out during flex (study hall) today. They had an assembly for all of the instrumental music students and colorguard. It was.....traumatizing, to be quite honest. It was just so....unexpected (besides when my friend told me on my way to my flex class that there was an assembly, and he thought that was what it was about). And then when the director talked about it, he started crying, and I was just curled up in a ball in my seat crying. He's a though guy, not very emotional (besides when he gets mad), so to see him like that was.....woah. It made it worse. I can honestly say I'm going to miss him. As mad, frustrated, and annoyed as he might have made me sometimes, I really am going to miss him. Going into the band program, it was expected to have both directors all four years.....to be honest, they've been such constants there, the one in question has been there since the year I was born, that I don't think anyone imagined them leaving. They're like boulders, not going to move anywhere. Solid. So the thought of him not being there.....it's almost inconcievable. He basically MADE the program what it is today. I don't think we'd be anywhere near where we are today without him. It's just.....so hard to believe or think about. It seems like a big nightmare, to be quite honest. He's not supposed to go anywhere. Ever. Ugh. Not happening, not happening.....but it is. You know what's fun? (not). Finding out news like that and then going into a big bio test. And bio is my worst subject. I was wayyy too traumatized to do well on that test. We're getting them back tomorrow....hopefully, I'll get a decent score on it....or at least with test corrections. I really need the help. Somehow, my grade is a 68% right now, which sucks, because I'm trying so dang hard and doing ok, but I did really bad on this one lab, and now my grade is rediculously low. Ugh. Even getting A's on both tests (with corrections) somehow still has it that low. I'm stressing because grades are due Friday, so I NEED to get it up this week to have like a decent grade. So stressed about it. (That was unrelated). Anyways, my point?? You really don't know what you have until it's gone!!!! And don't take anyone or anything for granted, because you don't know when it or they won't be there anymore. So make sure you appreciate the things and people you have in your life before it's too late. It's not like we're never going to see our director again after this year, but this change is just hard. Really hard. I don't know when we're going to find out who his replacement will be, but I really hope it's one of the marching band techs. Really very much. I love all of them. We'll just have to wait and see. So what else is going on in my life.....well this naturally just added to my list of things stressing me out. Like seriously????? I'm on the verge of a midlife crisis already!!!!! Ugh, so did not need something new on The List. I'm.....a ball of stress right now, going crazy, a gazillion things on my mind.....I can't wait for this school year to end. I really wish this whole year, since like July, was just a dream. Not real. Had never happened. There are so many things I wish I'd done or done differently......of course, it was all meant to be, and it's not exactly like I can go back and change it. I'm too young for all of this stress.....can it be summer now? Please? At least I'll be less stressed then (in between band camps). Well I'm off to catch up on stuff. And try to destress (it's not going to work). I need a hug. Peace, Magic, and Music, ~*Me*~

Oh My Goodness, English Classes......

2011-03-25T16:33:00.002-04:00

I'm too lazy to go through the whole "Song on Repeat" routine.
Deal with it.

So anyways, this is me ranting about something that has been driving me insane since the beginning of the universe. Or, you know, elementary school in about fourth grade.
I'm guessing I'm not the only one who has had to sit through the stupid lessons I'm sitting through right now.....
Lets be honest, unless you're an English teacher, when in the name of Merlin's freaking pants are you going to have to combine three related sentences into one sentence with independent and dependent clauses and all that other crap?
I WRITE SENTENCES LIKE THAT ALREADY!!!!! Why on earth are we wasting time learning about that when we're not going to be combining pre-written sentences for our own essays? Like seriously. It's an honors class for juniors. I'm in it as a sophomore. Pretty sure we know what we're doing with that kind of thing. If we do write sentences like those bad, short sentences, maybe an honors class isn't the right class.
Honors classes do tend to be a pain because some of the people really shouldn't be there, but they are anyways. But seriously, learning about the different types of sentences and such is a huge pain for me because no, I'm not the best writer in the school, but um, I know what I'm doing. We're not in middle school anymore! And people in my class ask questions, and it drives me nuts, because it's like hello, that part of the sentence can't stand alone, that part can. The end.
Sentence patterns? Holy cannoli.
I didn't do them in middle school, but apparently we were supposed to. Basically, there are like 10 or 12 sentence patterns and they're all different with adjectives and adverbs and.....SO CONFUSING! Seriously after spending almost the entire second semester working with them last year, I still didn't understand any of them but the first two.
It just drives me crazy that they over-complicate absolutely everything.
Like seriously, analyzing poetry and stories to death makes them so much less enjoyable to read. It even makes them more confusing than they might have been just reading the poem or story. Now all the other stuff is added, and it's like "how in the heck does his aunt that just died have anything to do with the flowing stream?!" or whatever. Ugh.
I'd much prefer just knowing the overall idea of the poem, and figuring it out for myself than knowing exactly what every word in every line means. Which is why I liked my teacher last year, she didn't really over-analyze everything, which was wonderful.
I adore poetry, but tend to hate when we have to study it, because it's like ahhhhhh, I HATE ANALYZING EVERYTHING ON THE PLANET!!!! And on top of that, they always pick the most boring poems on the entire planet for us to read.
I love the fact that my textbook for this class has a whole section with a ton of Emily Dickinson poems. It's wonderful!!!

Yeah, I just had to get that little rant out.

Well I'm off to get dressed and ready to go out to eat.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Gotta Remember......

2011-03-21T16:29:00.002-04:00

Song on repeat: "Big Green Tractor" by Jason Aldean
Mood: tired, productive
"We can take a ride
On my big green tractor,
We can go slow,
Or we can go faster
Out to the road
Or down to the pasture,
As long as I'm with you
It really don't matter"

I wish the weather was nice again!
Well, ok, so it's typical March weather. But still. It needs to be 70-something like it was on Friday....that would be marvelous. Seriously.

Random, but here's a list of my favorite words:
-marvelous
-permeate
-miracle
-delicate

This weekend, I decided that I'm going to sort of have a fresh start for the rest of the school year. For real this time.
I'm going to study, do my homework the day it's assigned even if it's not due the next day, and just....work harder. Oh, and practice like, at home as opposed to only at school during lunch every other day. Even though that works, it's not enough.
I have to keep remembering that I'm working to make my advisor who died proud, and because I want to go to college at Northwestern. Starting now, I really do need to work on remembering that.
I did homework that's due tomorrow over the weekend, which means more free time today. And it was great to not have to do all of that. Hopefully, I'll be able to continue that habit, and just maybe end up with, you know, straight A's.
(I wishhhhhhh). Yeah, not too likely, but you never know.

You know what's kind of strange?
The fact that I can't deal with anything inside bodies, like organs and such (blood, I don't mind), but I love the Jaws movies.
I'm so darn quirky!!!!
Seriously.
That word is officially on the list of Words To Describe Me, along with sweet, too nice, klutzy, and spazzy.
My lovely friend Justin, who is home for spring break this week, described me being super quirky as part of my "charm".
I'm not charming. At all. In any way, shape or form.....lets be honest. But it's still amusing to be told that.

Well, that's about it for now.
I'm off to watch some more Jaws 2.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

I Very Seldom Dislike People....

2011-03-18T15:43:00.002-04:00

Song on Repeat: "Here (In Your Arms) by HelloGoodbye
Mood: IT'S SUNNY AND WARM OUTSIDE SO I'M HAPPY!
"I fell in love,
In love with you suddenly
Now there's nowhere else
I could be
But here in your arms."

Whoops.....I took a little break from blogging. I've been needing some "Me Time" lately. A break. But I never have it.
I honestly cannot wait until summer, I'm going crazy over here. The weather has been crazy this year, what with being super cold and snowing a ton, rainy, getting warm now (which is marvelous), and......I'm just tired of it.
I need like a week out of my house, with just friends. Away from family and school, and no phones allowed. Just a week of fun and freedom. But that's clearly not going to happen, even during the summer (unless you count marching band, which I don't). Camp might count though.....kind of. But I just feel so structured, and stressed.
I was thinking about it earlier, and decided that 2010 was definitely my best year yet. 2011 hasn't been so wonderful, mostly just because I can't bring myself to let go of stuff, and stop worrying. In short, making myself miserable by being dumb.
Such an awesome decision. But it's one of those things that I just can't help, you know?

So. What else has been going on.
Well, more deep, philosophical or whatever stuff, of course (do you see what 2011 is doing to me?!)
Coincidentally, I've been thinking about 2012.
What if the world really does end? What if this is truly the second to last year of our lives? What do we have to show for it?
For me, nothing too big really. Good grades (I just got letters inviting me to the National Student Leadership Conference or whatever in DC this summer. However, I hate politics and government related things, so I'm not spending over $2,000 to go to DC for a week and not enjoy it at all. It's leadership, but it sure seems like a lot of government stuff to me, and quite frankly, I don't care, even if it does look amazing to colleges and future employers. Ditto to the other two invitations to leadership conference/camp things that want me to spend over $2,000. While I might be interested in one of them, this summer is just too darn busy for that.....thank youuuuu marching band).
Anyways, there really just isn't much to show for my life. Some blog and diary entries, a group of people and friends that really do love and support me, goals for life that won't end up being accomplished if the world ends, and a bunch of pictures capturing the wild ride to the end of the world (should it come).
My plans for 12/21/2012 will probably consist of partying with friends, so that if we all die, at least we'll be together with people we love.
However, I really don't believe the world will end, no matter what anyone may say or think. Especially because riding home from Nannie Banana's house last night, I was sitting there thinking about how normal things looked.....so average, and nothing special. It just doesn't look like the end is coming any time soon. Which is why I don't think it will. However, that means even if it's not ending, you still have to live like it is!!!!
Think about how different you would act if you knew the world was ending tomorrow, or that you wouldn't live to see the end of the week.
Wouldn't you tell all of your friends and family how much you loved them?
Wouldn't you live it up and eat what you WANT to eat without worrying about being judged by the people around you?
Wouldn't you stop keeping secrets, and go up and tell the person you have a crush on that you adore them?
Wouldn't you stop holding grudges, forgive, and stop worrying about the past (because it happened, and you can't change it)?
Exactly. I know I'm not the person to best say this, as I'm one of the most shy people on the planet (even if you might not be able to tell from here), so I tend to keep things to myself. But yeah, that's the ideal me. Which brings me to my title.

hmmmmm, besides that......I'm thoroughly enjoying March Madness.....I don't know about you. But it's wonderful. All the college basketball you can handle!
My only team that didn't make the tournament was Maryland, which made me rather upset, but oh well. They didn't even make the other tournament, the NIT or whatever. And their season wasn't even that bad!
My teams are.....
-Maryland
-Wisconsin
-Illinois
-Purdue
-Marquette
-West Virginia

So yeah.

Well I'm off to enjoy the wonderful weather!!!

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

I Like Money

2011-03-09T16:34:00.002-05:00

That 70's Show Theme Song by cheap Trick
Mood: blegh, sickkkk
"Hangin' out
Down the street
The same old things
We did last week"

I would just like to say how amusing the advisory lesson today about internet safety was to me. I'm not stupid enough to post super personal stuff on my blog. Seriously.
And I don't have anything I wouldn't want other people to see on my facebook, so it's not a problem.

One thing I want to discuss: I have a That 70's Show addiction. Legit.
Teresa especially knows this, for all of the times I've talked to her about it. I really do watch it way too often.....and by way too often, I mean a lot. Puh-leeze, do you really think it's a problem that I'm kind of obsessed with Fez, and might or might not laugh at pretty much everything he says. Just saying.
He's awesome, just admit it.

Another subject I've been meaning to discuss for a while, because it's rather funny.
I guess it was about two months ago now, we got a call from some random number in Florida. It was one of those phone surveys, and since neither of The Parentals wanted to do it and I was just waiting to get picked up to go on a sort of shopping trip, I figured what the heck, it won't take long.
Well, about twenty minutes later, I still wasn't done, and my friend was waiting for me to go, so I had to hang up with only a couple personal questions left. I figured what the heck, that's the end of it. Wrong.
I ended up getting $5 in the mail for doing the phone survey....sweet!
A couple weeks later, I got an envalope with a survey and tv diary to complete and mail back.
Um, no. A long boring survey? Nah.
Well then another couple of weeks later, I got another copy of the survey and phone diary with an offer for $10 for completing it.
Then last Thursday, I got yet another copy, with a message about a "prize" on the outside of the envelope....ok. I opened it, and immediately decided to do it. Hello, $35 for doing a survey and tv diary???? Sign me up any time!!
The survey was mailed in yesterday, now I just have to finish the tv diary. I'm so excited to get the money. I'm so weird.

Well that's about all I have to talk about for now.
Oh yeah, and last night's Glee was.....interesting.

I'm off to watch tv.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Can We Please Discuss This????

2011-03-03T20:06:00.002-05:00

Song on Repeat: "Still" by Matt Nathanson
Mood: Fired up, yo.
"Still can feel you kiss me love
Still can see your eyes like diamonds,
Diamonds,
Memories are strong enough
To come on and drive me wild"

Ok, so this will hopefully be a normal sounding post, if a little ranty.
You're welcome.....you all deserve medals for still reading after those last couple posts.

Anyhoodle.....so much to talk about, so little time.

First, lets start with my main issue of the moment, shall we?
Westboro Baptist Church.
Holy freaking cheesenips. That just......oh my goodness gracious. Words cannot truely describe how furious the supreme court ruling on this makes me.
I honestly don't give a crap about how it would affect future trials about freedom of speech....this issue is here and now, and those people are mentally harming the families of veterans who gave their lives for our country, and are in fact the reason we have the right of freedom of speech.
Let me just say this now: I have absolutely zero patience for homophobic people who freely express their hatred of a group of people who cannot help the fact that they are homosexual. Yesterday, a kid in my gym class made a comment about "guys kids" in our class, and yes, the kids in question might be a little out there, and yes, they might in fact be gay. But when he started talking about how it was "Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve".....oh my goodness, let me tell you, it took 150% of my self control to not get up and punch him. I have zero tolerance for intolerance. (Ironic, yes. But you know what I mean).
One good thing is coming from this horrendous excuse for a "church's" awful actions; people, who are normally homophobic but support our troops, are being supportive of fighting the church. It's wonderful to see people whose views are normally so different, coming together to fight against something wrong.
Something needs to be done. I can honestly say that no matter how these people identify themselves, their actions are not Christian. So we can all do something against them; instead of being hateful towards them, why don't you pray for them to get some freaking reasoning?
Don't give them more power over you by acting out against theml; support the bikers who are drowning out their awful words. Show your support by being the better person, don't sink to their level.
I don't care if you don't like or support homosexuals, no one deserves to have to deal with these people in addition to the stress and sadness in their time of mourning.
Somehow, we'll make this right. Those people should not be able to do what they are doing.

Anyways. If you couldn't tell from that, or you don't know me that well.....I have anger issues. It doesn't seem like it, but if wanting to punch, kick, and act violently when something makes me mad qualifies me....well, there you have it.
So my sister's last basketball game of the season was tonight. They lost, but let me say, it's a little ridiculous how into the game I was getting.....how my parents have survived their third year of the seventh and eighth grade division is beyond me. I mean, seriously.
So. Much. Stress.
I can't believe it's March already!!! Which means March Madness is coming up soon!!
One advantage of having friends in college is that I'm broadening the list of college basketball teams I love.
Worth it? No. I'd give anything to have my college friends home. But still, watching their teams makes them feel a little closer, (even if one of them is only an hour or so away.)

I'm thinking my "anger problems" are really just from stress. I never really had an issue until this past fall, when issues with The Ex started happening. And it just has gone downhill from there.
I've been having so much internal conflict and stress since October when we broke up (for various reasons, not just because of us breaking up), that it's just.....yeah, at this point, not good.
And I really wish I could change things. But right now, things just aren't acting in my favor, especially the whole "I'm an insane amount of cautious and shy" thing. Yeah. Attempting to work on that.
I'll honestly just be happy when this school year ends.....it began so wonderfully, and it's going to end.....well, I don't know yet!!! But I guess that's the good thing about the future, right? You don't know what's coming, and whatever is meant to happen will happen, whether it's good and whether you like it or not.
We'll just have to wait and see, and I'm going to work on trying to make things end up ok. I can do it. (Hopefully).
I just wish that one of the people I "mother" would listen to me like I really am his mother.
Ah the things we tolerate for those we love. It's just....worrysome. We'll see.
(For the record, if you don't already know what I'm talking about, you don't need to).

Well I'm off to watch some Caps hockey!!!

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

I Like Having Epiphanies at 10:15 p.m.

2011-02-23T16:47:00.003-05:00

Song on Repeat: "Hate Me" by Blue October
Mood: Really tired, tummy ache
"Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things
I didn't do for you"

So I was actually supposed to post this yesterday, but I didn't because I was too busy. (Shocking, right? Me, busy? I just sit around watching tv and giggling about how I'm not blogging, yet again!) (Kidding, clearly).
But my last post was dumb. And strange. Admit it. Even Teresa said it wasn't worthy of a comment. (Well, what she actually said was that she didn't leave a comment. Same difference, really).

Anyhoodle, this post actually has a point, and direction, which I will go in.
So here we go.

I don't know if I've discussed this on here before or not, but I don't think so.
Lets be honest, we all take things for granted; friends, family members, teachers, our own homes and our right to a free education.
So many people don't have these things, yet we do, and a lot of the time, we just act like it doesn't matter.
For example, my advisor who passed away in December.
No one in our class really appreciated just how much he meant to us until he was gone, and that is part of the reason his death affected me so much; when he left, he was supposed to come back in a month. We were supposed to see him again. None of us even dreamed that the last time we saw him, it would be that day. I can still see him standing in front of the class, telling us about his recent trip to a NASA launch site where some friends worked. I can see the shirt he was wearing, which he got from that trip. I can still smell his cologne, feel the roughness of his palms when we shook hands (which he did with everyone at the beginning of every class). I can even hear his voice saying certain things. And no one expected that we would one day so soon, miss those things so much. He was our advisor, nothing special. He would be there for us all four years. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you've never experience the feeling of losing someone who you took for granted, but really meant so much, it's not a good feeling. So if you haven't been through that, I really hope you don't have to.
The real point of this though, is what happened on Monday night.

I was talking to someone, and started feeling an insane amount of guilty because it was being made painfully clear to me how much I meant to this person, and that I felt like I hadn't been doing enough for this person, even though they thought I had been. The feeling of guilt made me want to cry, because it was just so much. I realized in one moment just how bad I felt about taking this person for granted, and wondered how I could have let myself do that.
When I talked to Teresa about it, she told me it really made her think too.
Take a minute, and think about all of the things you are so lucky to have: a family, somewhere to live, your health, friends, and so many other things.
When are you thankful for those things? When do you actually take the time to think about how lucky you are to have them?
Be honest.
Then, think about if you were to lose that friend you had been taking for granted. What if they died, and you had never had the chance to tell them how much they mean to you?
So you should take the time to do that now.
Does everyone you love know just how much you love them? If not, you should tell them. Because you never really know when it's going to be too late.
I know just talking to that one person for just a little while made me think seriously about what I've been worrying about lately.
Sometimes priorities are hard to focus on, and remember.
Teresa, I did a really bad job talking about this, didn't I?

Anyways, that's about all I have to say for right now.
Sorry these last couple posts have been kind of boring and.....deep. I know that's not what you fine people like to read.
My next post will be more like usual, pinkie promise.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Opening Up? And Other Random Stuff.......

2011-02-21T17:31:00.004-05:00

Song on Repeat: "The Only Girl (In the World) by Rihanna
Mood: Grumpy
"Make me feel
Like I'm the only girl in the world
Like I'm the only one that you'll ever love
The only one"

Oh hi there, blog! Nice to see you again. (Here you go, Richard)
Sorry I've been sucking at posting all the time, but hey, I've been doing it way more often than I was, right? If nowhere near what I used to.

Last night, I did what I've been meaning to do for the past couple weeks.
Now, while my blog is completely public, most people haven't actually been reading it until the past few months, which does make me happy, but then there's the issue I took care of last night: my old posts.
See, if you read back when I was in eighth grade, you can literally see where I started to go psycho, and thus starting "The Aleks Incident." (I really wouldn't suggest reading anything from back then. Legit. This isn't me using reverse psychology to try and get you to read it, seriously).
I was psycho. And I figured if I'm going to advertise my blog for more people to read it, I should probably get rid of the bad stuff, so I don't get too embarrassed. Luckily and surprisingly, there were only a couple of posts that were so bad, I had to delete them. I was happy, because I was less psycho than I thought I appeared to be!! Plus, it made me remember some stuff that I had 100% forgotten about, and wouldn't have remembered without looking at the posts. So that was good. And now I feel a little less self conscious about my blog, in case someone looked back for some reason. Obviously at the time I didn't care about people reading it, but now, it's like "that makes me look a tad crazy," even though it probably only seems like that to me.
But it's like I'm not going to get rid of the like, two posts I wrote about The Ex this fall, making him seem so sweet and wonderful, because it's only two posts (that's kind of a sad reflection of my blogging habits, because we dated for two months). Plus, it's not like I hate him; I don't. At all. And in fact, still defend him when my friends try to put him down and call him a jerk or whatever.
Maybe I'm too forgiving, but our pastor literally just talked about forgiving people at church on Sunday. And you know me, I don't like to get all religious on here, but I believe it's true. You're way better off forgiving someone than staying mad and bitter about it. One of my favorite quotes is "Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free, and realize the prisoner was you." So you know, try not to hold grudges, because it feels so much better to let go. Now, there is indeed a difference, a big difference, between forgiving and forgetting. And then there's also the issue of, well, I'll let BoysLikeGirls say it for me.....If you don't feel like listening, the song says "The first one is the worst one when it comes to a broken heart," and even though there was no love involved, I still agree (right now anyways) that the first love and first relationship are the hardest to get over, even though there's also that other quote that I agree with: "There is no such thing as loved; either you never did or you always will."
(Wow, that whole rant was insanely off track.....oops!!! But it's the truth, and I think it needs to be said, as random as it was).

What else did I want to talk about? I have no idea.....whoops, do you see what happens when you let me get off track?! Sheesh!!!!! And The Father just distracted me further.......

Let me see what I wrote about last time.
Oh. That.
Well, there's no followup to be done about that, lol.
Give me something interesting to talk about!!!!!

I honestly can't think of anything to write about.
There are so many things going on right now that I'm worried about.
I really wish things weren't so complicated, and that people besides Teresa and Cynthia could read my mind. Because then I wouldn't have to bring up things that I didn't want to talk about, even though it won't actually do any good to bring it up in the first place, which I know already.
Blegh.

I really honestly suck because I can't think of anything else to write about, so I'm going to stop this strange, boring post now.

I'm off to watch Swiss Family Robinson, read your blogs, and pray for it to not actually snow tonight!!!!

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

In Which Katie [The BleuTrumpet] Rants. A Lot.

2011-02-13T14:40:00.005-05:00

Song on Repeat: "Road to Nowhere" by Bullet for my Valentine
Mood: Frustrated, tired
"Farewell, I miss you
I'm sick of these goodbyes
'Cause it tore us apart
Right from the start....
I miss you"

Yeah, pretty much the title, and coincidentally, my Song on Repeat.
Ugh.

Have you ever accidently started a situation? Like, *attempts to think of an example* OH, ok. So say you made this really awesome bracelet out of like, duct tape. (Bad example. But keep reading). You made it for yourself, and then your friend saw it and liked it, so you made one for her/him, too. Then a few days later, it seems like everyone is buying duct tape and making bracelets like yours, totally stealing the idea, and ignoring the fact that you made it first, and they got the idea from you (because, lets face it, none of your friends are as creative as you when it comes to coming up with ideas for awesome bracelets.) (Kidding, totally kidding. But do you get the idea? Moving on). So your friends are stealing your idea, not giving you credit for it even though they most likely wouldn't have come up with the idea without you, and you get mad. Maybe you've actually been making the bracelets for a couple of years, but not really advertizing the idea, or even wearing them in public. So you're mad because they stole the idea, and the friend you made one for gets annoyed too, because hello, it was sort of like your thing to have these awesome bracelets, and it wasn't even supposed to be that big of a deal- they're just bracelets. But also, besides that, you don't want to talk to the people copying your ideas, because they obviously wouldn't listen and stop making them, they probably wouldn't care or think it matters. But it matters to you and your friend, because it was your thing first. And your friend that you made it for asks if you want her to stop wearing it, but you tell her not to worry about it, because the damage is already done. And you really wish you hadn't come up with the idea of sharing your bracelet idea with a friend, because none of this would have happened if you hadn't. So you're stuck with the original bracelets that you made, feeling like none of it really matters anymore, because others, especially one person who is making a freaking ton of bracelets, have your idea. And you wonder if you should even bother making any more.

Now, I'm fully aware that the whole situation described makes virtually no sense. At all. Unless you know what I'm talking about already, or you have suddenly developed mind reading powers, in which case, you should probably let me know so that I can attempt to watch what I'm thinking.
Anyways.
It's.....not a fun situation. At all. Seriously. And there's no way to fix what happened with the, erm, bracelets, because the people who are "making the bracelets" now won't care even if I say anything.

So besides that, lets move on to an even less appealing topic, shall we?
Guess what day tomorrow is.
That's right, Single Awareness Day!!!!
Gross.

If you've been reading for a while, that means you are probably aware I do a post pretty much every year about hating Valentines Day. It's that time of year again.
2009, 2010
Wow, apparently I've only been around for two SAD's. Well, still. It's sort of tradition. And will continue.
(Can I just say it feels like I've been blogging for a lot longer that I actually have? But things certainly have changed).
Anyhoodle, here's my post for this year.

February 14th is the absolute worst day of the year. Seriously. I spend the whole month hoping that we could possibly just pass over that day, and then it will be over. Unfortunately, there's no way of doing that, and it always comes.
I'm one of those people who believes that they will always be single on the dreaded day, and even if I'm by some miracle not eventually, I'll still call it Single Awareness Day and hate it. That's not going to change.
Lets face it, how many people actually know something about St. Valetine, or Valentines Day? Chances are you probably didn't actually know anything until you checked out one of those links. So why in the heck do we make such a big deal out of a holiday that we know nothing about?! Almost everyone knows the story behing holidays like Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Haunnikah (I can't spell that word, sorry). We celebrate them and remember the stories. But who really gives a crap about Valentines day? All most people care about is that it's a day to celebrate love between friends/lovers/family/etc. And to accidently, rub it in the faces of those who don't have someone to share it with.
I'm aware that even if you don't have a significant other to share the day with, you're supposed to make sure your friends or family or whatever know that you love and care about them. But I try to do that every day, so really, it should be no different. But somehow, it is. Because people are given permission by greeting card companies to show off how in love they are, and to make those who aren't lucky enough to have someone, feel like poop. It's unavoidable. It will never fail to happen, and if you have a burning, passionate hate for it like me, then I don't think the feeling will ever really go away, no matter what the circumstances are.
This year (or rather, 2010.....same difference), I was given the opportunity to possibly have someone to spend the dreaded day with. We even discussed it a little, back in September. But I told him not to talk about it then, because we really didn't know what would happen between us. Circumstances, or rather, a person, happened, and the small amount of discussion now doesn't matter. I don't even remember what we even said, but I can tell you that I made it known how much I hate that day. February 14th. The worst day of the year. It ruins the entire month for me, because there are advertisements, and things for sale for it all month, and even the end of January.
When it's over, I always breathe a sigh of relief. No more of it until next year.
This year however, I'm actually sort of looking forward to it. Sister Dearest and I are going to Nannie Banana's house after school, and babysitting our baby cousin with her while our parents and my aunt and uncle go out to eat.
We get to spend time with the most adorable baby that will ever walk the planet (because she can in fact walk now!!!!!!), and we get pizza. What's not to look forward to?
I just have to survive school tomorrow (wearing all black, naturally), and get to seeing baby.
Hopefully, I can do it.
And to those of you who have the misfortune of asking why I'm in a bad mood tomorrow.....maybe this will be a sufficient explaination of why.

Well, I'm off to read.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

I'm Going To Explode.

2011-02-02T15:09:00.004-05:00

Song on Repeat: "Don't Wake Me" by Skillet
Mood: MAD.
"I went to bed
I was thinking about you
And how it felt when I finally found you
It's like a movie playing over in my head
Don't wanna look, 'cause I know how it ends"

Oh. My. Goodness.

OK, for those of you who don't know me all that well....I have a temper. Legit. I seem all nice and sweet and innocent and junk, which I am, but there are certain things that make me royally poed. And some days, I'm just in a bad mood for an unknown reason, a little thing sets me off, and BAM. Explosion.

This morning, I was in a decent mood, and went to school feeling fairly optimistic. Trying to the ignore the fact that I had my geometry final first thing today (which I did ok on, but I didn't finish, and we're hopefully going to have time to work on it more tomorrow). Oh yeah, and today we went in to school two hours late, so I got a little more sleep than usual, despite taking a while to fall asleep last night. So it wasn't really because I was tired.

Anyways, so I came into the band hallway after riding the bus (as opposed to my dad driving me, because we had the delay), and The Ex was in the hallway, earlier than normal. And for some reason, I heard him talking about something, and it really annoyed me, so I got grumpy. But that was fairly forgotten.

The rest of the day was normal, until my last class of the day, the stupidest class ever: Foundations of Tech. And my friend Richard, who I agrue with like we're an old married couple pretty much every class, told me about how he didn't feel good and had a stomach ache and thought he was sick.
Oh crap.
So I, of course, flipped out. Begging him to go to the nurse and yelling at him to stop breathing (on me, of course, lol. Teresaaaaaa!!! Haha), and just in general freaking out. And then he was yelling at me to stop being dumb, and saying he felt fine when clearly, he didn't. And we started arguing. Again. While we were working on our project, and I finally gave up and let him just do it because apparently I wasn't doing it right. (I totally was).
Finally, that class was over, and I was fine, whatever. (By the way, that part of the story had no significance. It was just for interest).

I got on the bus and was texting Teresa (as per usual), and she told me she had some bad news. OK.....what could that be?
Well, apparently the lists of what bands people are in were put up, and Richard and I are still in symphonic band next year, while this kid two years younger than us that I really can't stand, is in wind ensemble.
Oh. My. Goodness.
OK, let me tell you. It's not even so much that he's better than me at trumpet, although that's definitely part of it. It's that he's so stuck up, has an ego, and expects huge special treatment because he gets private lessons from one of our directors (even though he's going to have to stop because directors can't private teach their students). He's just.....I can't even think of a word to describe him. But he's one of those people who's good, and knows it. Which I can't stand.
It's kind of a musician thing; especially brass players. We have HUGE egos. (So do percussionists). So I obviously can't tell you exactly what it feels like. It's basically the feeling that everyone is better than you, you suck, will never be able to get any better, and......just a crappy feeling. That kid makes me feel it just by looking at him.
Congrats to Shannon for making wind ensemble, though!!! :-)
Oh yeah, one last thing. I'll be in symphonic, again, which means that once again, I'll be at a disadvantage for drum major auditions. Which sucks. Seriously. Three years in a row? I don't care if the challenge makes me better, next year if I get drum major, I won't even be in the class I audition in front of, and that's once again, a crappy feeling.

So not in a good mood right now.

Well, I'm off to get an MRI on my elbow. (Details on that in a later post, especially because my followup appointment for that is next Wednesday).

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

I Have A Bazillion Things to Say.....

2011-01-30T15:13:00.002-05:00

Song on Repeat: "Straight Away" by Mat Kearney
Mood: I need something to do!
"You can shoot me straight,
Straight to the heart
'Cause you already have it."

We haven't had school since last Tuesday because of snow, and although the time off has been nice, I'm definitely ready to go back. I'm ready to see people, and to have something to do, and just not spend all of this time at home; I don't even know. I want to get the first semester finals over with, and start my new classes.
Tomorrow, I'm super busy. Dentist in the morning, then going to the orthapedic doctor for my elbow to maybe find out what's actually wrong with it, and then Sister Dearest has a singing lesson and I'm going to study for my finals.
As for my elbow, since apparently I neglected to actually tell you about it. I broke it last fall (no pun intended), and it's never actually gotten better. I mean, clearly there's not the constant pain that I was in while it was still broken, but it hurts fairly frequently. Like when I lift anything too heavy with it (as in like, heavier than about 3 pounds....but it varies), it hurts so bad that I sometimes have trouble holding my pencil because my whole arm actually hurts, and I can't do regular push-ups because my elbow, not my arm, my elbow starts shaking. Oh yeah, and a couple times during the marching band season, we were doing a visual warm up (marching, not playing), and my elbow literally vibrated. Like, vibrated like a phone. And I got Sam (who teched the last couple competitions) to touch it, and he could feel it too. So yeah, add that to the popping/cracking all the time, and there's definitely a problem.

Anyhoodle.
I'm not going to do my annual I Hate Valentines Day Rant until later. In a week or so. But trust me, it's coming. With a vengance. More so than usual, because of the events this year.
Since I'm kinda lacking in subject matter I want to discuss that won't take a really long post and have to be connected, why don't I touch on that?

It really sort of hit me today that I wasn't a very good girlfriend. Lets be honest here.
For starters, I didn't care if I didn't see The Ex for a couple days. Well, outside of school and band. That right there is apparently a problem, because my friend Julie was telling me she was upset about not seeing her boyfriend for like, four days outside of school due to college apps, etc. and I was like ohhh crap. I didn't care. But see, it wasn't entirely my fault. The Ex was busy with that stuff too, and I figured once that was over with, we could be a normal couple and see each other all the time, no big deal. But we didn't even make it through the whole marching band season.
Another thing was in my strong desire not to be clingy, I wasn't....as.....I don't even know what word to use. But I was too not clingy, if that makes sense. And I think that's a large part of the reason we actually broke up, despite what he told me. I mean, don't get me wrong, I've said it once and I'll say it again: I'm over him, okay? Truely. But I still feel like there was no closure, and that if I had just done one thing, we'd still be together. It's too late for that now, but....I just wish I could talk to him about it, so maybe I'd feel a little more closure, but that's not happening, so I'm stuck with this cruddy feeling of almost guilt about it. Because I know it's my fault. And if I could do it again, I know what I would have done in situations we were in to make it so we were still together.
So now I know what to do differently, the next time I end up with a boyfriend, but who knows when that's going to be? I'm thinking not in the near future, personally. Although I sort of wish now that I'd gone to Winter Formal now. But I had so much fun with what I did instead, so I don't regret it.
I'm just scared that I'm going to mess up again when I end up with a boyfriend again, whenever that happens. I just can't get over how I messed up, even though everyone says it was really his fault, not mine. Ugh. I keep thinking about it, and not really regretting so much as wishing I could do things differently. Even though clearly, I can't do that. Unless I acquire a time machiene, and even then, I'm not really sure if I really would want to go back and do it again. At some point, you just have to deal with it and move on, right? And I'm working on that. There's just......ugh, I don't even know. I just need something to really take my mind off it. Ohhhhh, which brings me to another topic!!!

I'm applying for a job. Like, as in I'm legit going to do it, instead of like last year just saying I'm going to and not ever actually getting around to doing it. Maybe I'll do it tomorrow after my doctor's appointment? We'll see.
It's at a small pizza place about fifteen minutes from my house, so it's a bit of a drive, but not too bad. I'm excited!!!!! I really hope they hire me. I mean, extra money, and having something constructive to do. Plus, it was my childhood dream to be a waitress, lol. I know it's not going to be anything like I imagined, playing "Restaurant" in the living room with friends, but it will be....interesting. Maybe even fun.
Oh, and also, Northwestern (and I imagine other colleges too) look at work experience, so if I can get a job and keep it for a few years until college, that looks awesome to them. It's totally an all-win situation. Maybe I will go tomorrow. That's an exciting idea.
The only major minus for right now will be the stupid work permit that has to be filled out and filed and such, because of still being in school. Dumb. But whatever, it can be dealt with. ASAP.
This is making me excited, haha.

Well I'm off to finish watching my recording of the X-Games from Friday (have I mentioned I love the X-Games? Especially the winter ones!!!!!), and IM Justin.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Tuesday January 18, 2010: I Keep Sneezing!!!!!

2011-01-18T18:09:00.003-05:00

Song on Repeat: "Marry Me" by Train <3

Mood: Sick

"I promise to

Sing to you

When all the music

Dies"

I have a legit reason for not posting for about a week; I've actually been busy!!! No lie.

Yes, I know, you're probably thinking But this is Katie we're talking about! She never does anything but lay around and watch tv when it's not marching band season!

(Thanks so much, guys).

But it's the truth. Now, being able to recall what I've been up to is another story. Hey, I have a lovely, bad cold right now (You're welcome, Teresa), so my mind is working even less than usual. Let me just tell you what went on this past weekend, and yesterday.

Friday, I went to the mall with Teresa, and we met up with Richard, which was fun! I'd never actually hung out with him besides when we met at Teresa's birthday party, but we got along really well. I had lots of fun.

Saturday morning, I went to Boyd's Bears (which is closing, which makes me very sad) with my aunt, uncle, Elsa-poo, and Nannie Banana. Then, we came home and Teresa came over and we watched the Ravens game. Let me just say that I'm still not emotionally prepared to discuss that game yet, besides the fact that the refs were horrendous, and the Ravens all took a vacation during the second half. If you watched at all, you know what I mean. Seriously. (I'm not even saying the refs only missed calls on the Steelers. Oh no, they missed them on us, too. I'll admit it when we mess up, and they just weren't calling it. Steelers fans are really freaking obnoxious, too. I'm sorry, but it's the truth. Ravens fans are nice, just loud. That doesn't mean we don't trash talk, because we do, but Steelers fans are rude). Anyways, after that game was over and I got over my little temper explosion (I was not a happy little person. At all), I went to a concert for Jason's new band, and brought Cynthia along. It was fun. I'm not saying they're the best thing since sliced bread, because I honestly preferred their old band, with Nathan in it, too, but it was still good. And getting to see Jason was nice.

Sunday, I went to church, and then to Sister Dearest's basketball game (which they won), went out to eat, and then came home and watched football. (Can you believe the Pats lost?!)

Monday, we had off school because of MLK day, and we went to a really nice mall about and hour away, then came home, and then I went to the mall by our house with my friend Kayla. It was fun!!! My favorite part was definitely trying on dresses at Deb.

I definitely just spent about 20 minutes on the website looking for them, but I couldn't find any!!!!!!! That makes me mad.

Anyways, the third one I tried on was absolutely gorgeous. It's in the window display, and I fell completely in love with it when I saw it on Friday when I was there. It's light pink, strapless, and like a prom dress/gown thing (it's long). The top has sequins in rows along it, there's a ribbon around it that's the same shade of pink, and the skirt is made of this feathery, net type material on top. It's insanely gorgeous, and wearing it made me feel like a princess. I'm so in love with it, you have no idea. I'm going to be obsessing, lol. If Teresa and I fail to get her a date of the male persuasion (which we will be trying very hard to do) to go to prom with, I'm so getting that dress. It's kind of similar to this.

But prettier. In my opinion. (I don't want to post the picture of myself wearing it).

It snowed last night, so we had off school today. I didn't feel like doing much all day because of being sick, so besides sledding for a while with Sister Dearest this morning (it was really icy, so sledding was kinda dangerous, due to all the trees at the bottom of the hill in my front yard), so we didn't stay outside too long. The Mother and I took Sister Dearest to her friend's house and then went to Office Depot and then mailed Michael a package. It contains a lot of candy (especially gummies!) and I know he's going to love it. I'm so psyched for him to text me when he gets it in a couple days!! I also made up a package for my friend Justin to mail him once he moves into his dorm, and gets his address. So I'll probably mail that to him next week. (It contains a DVD, a pack of Mario shaped gummies, and two pictures of griffons that I colored for him [kind of an inside joke between us]. I might also print a picture of the two of us that's really good and put that in there too, I'm not sure. But I probably won't).

Well, that made for a nice post. I have a couple of other things I want to talk about, but I'll do that at some other point this week, or just wait until next week.

Here's hoping for another snow day tomorrow, although it would be from the ice.

I'm off to watch some hockey......C-A-P-S, C-A-P-S, C-A-P-S, CAPS CAPS CAPS!

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Monday January 10, 2011: I Totally Had This Post Planned This Morning.....

2011-01-10T17:12:00.002-05:00

Song on Repeat: "Mine" by Taylor Swift
Mood: lazy
"I remember all the city lights
On the water
You saw me start to believe
For the first time"

Like the title says. I honestly had this nice, long post planned out while I was getting ready for school and stuff, and then apparently, it disappeared. Which annoys me, because I was excited to write it, too.
Oh well, I'll figure something out as I'm going. Excuse this for being random, but I'll attempt to make it interesting.

Lately, more so than usual, I've become a "freakout blankie" for people. First, let me explain that term.
Sam, my section leader last year, called himself "the freakout blankie" last year at a rehearsal for the recruitment trip, because I was talking about how whenever something happened, I had to spazz out to him and make sure it was okay. This year's marching band was different because Sam wasn't there (obviously), (well, usually not. He was the last couple weeks of rehearsals and competitions, including Atlanta, because our usual tech couldn't be there). I had to either keep whatever was going on to myself, flip out on everyone in my section standing around me, or wait until a water break to spazz out to Teresa. Guess what I ended up doing? (All of them, of course).
Anyways, that's where that term came from.
So I've become someone like that to many of my friends. Either I'm just noticing it more, or it's happening more. I'm not sure which. But I don't have a problem with it at all. Everyone comes to me with their problems, which makes me happy, because I like to think I'm a good listener, and people trust me enough to tell me everything.
I'd be happy with even more people telling me things, because to be honest, it seems like it really helps them. And this makes me happy, because it seems like it will help with the whole "Wanting to be a psychologist" thing. I feel like if people trust me, then they'll be able to talk to me about stuff, and I'll be able to help them more. Some people just aren't approachable, and.....yeah. I don't know. This was probably boring to read about, but it's the truth.
Whenever I think about the way people trust me, it makes the dream of being a psychologist seem even more in reach. And if you think I've given up on being a writer, you're wrong. Trust me. I haven't at all, I just haven't found the right story idea yet. It'll come eventually.

College seems so close these days. I only have two and a half years, and I'll be graduating!!! I feel like it's definitely going to go by super fast. What else is there to accomplish in high school besides good grades, and having fun?! Not much, honestly. Another two amazing marching band seasons (hopefully as assistant drum major and then drum major), and besides that.....yeah, just having fun and doing good things.
I've already been in high school for a year and a half, and I don't know if you've noticed, but in that short time, I've changed a lot.
This post and this post are both from this week last year. I notice a definite difference in maturity from then to now.
Life just still seems like it's going by super fast, and I'm just along for the ride. Some of my best friends are once again, going to be graduating and leaving me. I'm trying not to think about it.
Lets get off that topic before we even really start it, shall we?

I'm so happy, because I'm over the sickness Teresa gave me, and I had for two weeks (even though she denies it. It was totally her. Don't listen to her when she says it wasn't). I'm glad. Actually, you know, eating, is nice. The feeling of constant nausea being gone is nice, too. I mean, as much as I enjoyed it....(sarcasm, clearly).

I'm debating about whether to write the part of the post I can remember from this morning....I'm not going to. We'll save that for another day this week.

Well, I'm off to IM my friend on Facebook.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Tuesday January 4, 2011: It's A New Year!

2011-01-04T18:38:00.002-05:00

Song on Repeat: "That 70's Show Theme Song" by Cheap Trick
Mood: Wishing Teresa hadn't gotten me sick :-p
"We're still rockin'
In Wisconsin,
We're all alright,
We're all alright!
Yeah!"

Let me just say that I truely love That 70's Show. It's hysterical. I love it. Just saying. If you don't watch it.....what in the name of Merlin's pants is wrong with you?!?! You need to.

So as mentioned somewhat in the last post and in my mood, my lovely friend Teresa gave me some sort of stomach thing that is trying to kill me, I swear. According to her, it lasts two weeks. Which is....ok, because I've already been sick for over a week, so I'll survive the last few days.
The reason I say it's trying to kill me is because I have a stomach ache all the time, I feel like I really can't eat, and I feel even worse if I do. And I'm tired all the time, and lightheaded, which is caused by not eating enough because it makes me feel sick! It's a vicious cycle.

Hmmmm.....*searches for interesting thing to talk about*
Aha, I found something.

Lately, especially today, I've been feeling mean. Just mean. Not nice. Whatever you want to call it.
If you know me at all, you know I'm not a mean person at all. I've been told more times than I can remember that I'm too nice, and the first word that comes to mind when describing me is 99% of the time "sweet." So what's caused this change?!
Well, first of all, I'm pretty sure Teresa and Shannon will comment on here and tell me that I'm not being mean at all. But I really feel like I am this time. I mean, truely. And it's not like it's to anyone's face. And yes, the person I've been being mean about (no, not to, about), does deserve it. Completely. But I still feel bad about it. In my opinion, people these days are way too rude, and cruel, and everyone should be nicer. And I'm not....mad at the person I guess, just.....frustrated at the fact the she is such an awful person, I honestly don't even like being in the same room as her, because she hurt me, and she hurt my friends, and she is just such and awful person, it makes me furious to see her just being happy and not caring about all of the problems she's caused.
It doesn't matter to her at all, clearly, because she isn't trying to change at all, and I'm pretty darn sure she's just going to continue to be an awful person the rest of her life.
Why do I let it, and her, bother me so darn much? I'm not exactly sure. Maybe it's the multiple times she's caused problems for my friends and I. And the problem is, there's not really any way to solve this problem.
I can't even figure out what makes me mad.....which frustrates me, and......AHHHHHH!!!!! It's going to make my brain explode. Only not really. Because it doesn't bother me all the time, just when I think about it. It's not my problem, so I really just need to stop thinking about it.

Besides that....I don't really have a lot to talk about. I'm busy feeling kinda crappy from being sick, and just trying to survive until this weekend. School really isn't fun right now.

I feel like my permanent sub in geometry is kind of growing on me, despite the fact that every time I'm in a class with her, (geometry and adivsory....every day, my first two classes), it's like a constant reminder that my real teacher isn't coming back. I honestly almost cried today because I thought about it. It.....sucks. But there's nothing we can do to change it, so.....we'll just have to deal. But from now on, I'm resolving to do everything school related for him. I'm going to always study, try my hardest, and do my best. No more being lazy. I'm going to do well, because I know he's looking down on all his students from Heaven, and I want him to be proud, at least of me. I'm still not over my teacher's death.....I don't think anyone really is. I don't really know why it's affecting me so much, but it really is. I guess that's grief; it will get better eventually, but it's just going to keep hurting.

Well I don't really have anything else to talk about right now, so I'm going to go be lazy until The Mother and Sister Dearest get home with food.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Friday December 31, 2010: A Whole New [Year]

2010-12-31T13:39:00.003-05:00

Song on Repeat: "Parachute" by Train

Mood: sleepyyyyy

"I'll open up and be your parachute

And I'll never let you down

So open up and be my human angel

And we'll only hit the ground

Running, running"

As you may have noticed, I took a little vacation (no pun intended) from blogging. Because you see, Christmas night, we left to visit The Fam in Wisconsin. So I have an excuse. And I was in too bad of a mood during my last post to mention it....oops.

That situation hasn't been resolved; in fact, I still have no clue what the heck actually happened. And do you think I'm going to ask? Pfft, do you know me at all?

Christmas was super fun this year!!! I got a total of 10 pairs of socks (including the three pairs from Teresa). I'd consider it a successful year, wouldn't you? Yeah.

Kidding.

That wasn't the best part.

Possibly my favorite present was an I the Breather perorder pack!!!!!!! There's a little Christmas present for you, lovely readers.

They're the band I've been semi-obsessing over the past year or so, ever since I saw them at the first concert for my friends' band. So you all need to go check them out now, because they're so super nice (I've talked to them in person twice), a really great band (even if you're not into metal/screamo stuff....they're a christian band, too!!), and they're just......amazing. And they deserve a HUGE fan following. Seriously. So check them out!! They're on myspace, facebook, and twitter, and you can buy their first full length album (!!!!!!!!!!!) in stores, on iTunes, or you can order it from their site. So yeah. Check them out, and let me know what you think! And tell your friends!! Spread the word!!!!

Other good presents include

~Avatar Extended Special Edition Blu-ray (!!!)

~Purdue hoodie from Michael

~University of Wisconsin sweatpants

~set of my favorite perfume, lotion, body wash, and body spray (called So....? Kiss Me)

~two USSBA shirts from one of my marching band competitions

~nail polish kit with a nail dryer thingy!

~The Essential Weird Al Yankovic Cd

~Harry Potter 7 soundtrack

~Did I mention ten pairs of socks?

....and more!!! Overall, an awesome Christmas.

Christmas morning, we opened presents at home and then went to Nannie Banana's house to spend the rest of the day with family. It was tons of fun! I loved it, as per usual. Then, we left for Wisconsin.

Unfortunately, about two hours into the trip, I was feeling rather sick (probably from being tired and stressed) so we stopped at a hotel and stayed there overnight. We ended up getting to Wisconsin in the evening on the 26th. And although I did look (but not as hard as last time), I didn't spot Frank.

It was a really fun week!! My cousins and I always get into shenanagins while we're together. (My favorite part of the week was probably on the second night we were there, Sister Dearest and I stayed at their house instead of a hotel, and we were playing a game, and the younger of those two cousins really had to pee, so she yelled that, and ran to the bathroom, and sang "Halleluijah!!!!!!" [like the angel chorus] the entire time she was in the bathroom). We were all in hysterics laughing. It was fun.

The older of those two got a fish tank for Christmas, so we went to the pet store twice and got fish for it.

My youngest cousin on that side has grown up a lot since we last saw her, although she's only in first grade. She's adorable and 100% sweet. Unfortunately, she got the stomach virus and was sick for a couple days, so we didn't get to see her a lot. (Luckily, we all dodged that bullet, and aren't sick.....knock on wood. But I think we would be already if we were going to be, so.....).

My stomach has been somewhat a mess for about two weeks, so I've been kinda.....not right. But hopefully now that we're home, it will go back to normal.

Today is New Years Eve, and I've been thinking about my resolutions for this year. I haven't really been able to think of much. I just looked back on last year's resolutions, and actually, I think I did really well with most of them. I'm pretty much thinking of the same as those this year.....let's see.

~Be more outgoing!!!!

~Limit my junk food intake even more (I try. I've been doing more of attempting to eat more healthy than eat less junk food, lol)

~Take less things for granted!!

~Help people in need more

~Spend more time with friends

~Write more

~Try new things more often

~Be nicer to people when I'm in a bad mood, haha. (Any of my friends will tell you it's a problem)

~Remember more that if it's meant to be, it will happen. If it's not, it won't.

~Leave the things that happened in the past, in the past

~Smile, be more approachable

~Be confident!!!!!!

~Study harder!

~Make more new friends

So there's my list. I think they're all definitely achievable, I just need to be reminded of them every once and a while, and then do them!

I'm assuming I'm going to be reading your resolutions on your blogs soon, so I'm not even going to bother asking you to share in a comment. But if you want to, go ahead!!

Well, I'm off to finish eating and then rest so I don't, you know, die at the New Years party I'm going to tonight. Because I'm tired, despite taking dramomine to make me sleep on the ride home (it actually worked! Which is magical, cuz I never sleep in the car).

Happy New Year!!!!!

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Wednesday December 22, 2010: whispers "She's An Angry Blogger"

2010-12-22T18:20:00.002-05:00

Song on Repeat: "Let It Snow"
Mood: Annoyed, frustrated, tired
"Oh the weather outside is frightful,
But the fire is so delightful
And since we've no place to go,
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow"

Oh boy. If you're actually friends with me, you know how po'd I get when someone does something that is dumb, and really makes me mad.
This is one of those times.
It's the holiday season, just a couple of days before Christmas. It's the season of giving, loving, forgiving, happiness, and all that other junk (and you know how much I love this time of year, so you know I really must be mad), but there are certain people that.....shall I say, shouldn't be given a second chance.
Shall I explain my mood?
I shall.

So today was the holiday party for my school literary magazine, which was super fun even though most of the people weren't there, so we're going to have another one after break.
But anyhoodle, so I was in an awesome mood when I got home, because overall, it was just a great day. Seriously. But when I got home, The Mother and I started discussing math stuff, (like my grade in geometry for example......), and I ended up in a bad mood and went up to my room. Then, I had to go back downstairs to help with cookie stuff, and I got a call from Teresa.
Unexpected?
Yes.
We'd just been together at the party, like an hour ago, and I'd been texting her. I was in the middle of unwrapping Hershey's Kisses for cookies, no big deal, but I hit ignore. And then she called me again, so I figured it must be important.
Oh, yes.
I'll leave out names.

I'm not sure if I discussed this on here before or not, but a certain ex-friend had dated one of my best friends for about nine months, and had cheated on him literally almost the entire time.
When he finally broke up with her and found out, he was furious. As in, he punched a wall and broke his hand. Yeah.
Fast forward to October, you might be able to guess why I'm not friends with her anymore. (I mentioned it vaguely in a post about a month ago.....not being friends with someone I'd been friends with for five years. Anyways. Yes, it does involve my breakup with my ex boyfriend). Anyways, so today, I found out that the two who had been dating while she cheated for all that time, were at the mall together today. And after hearing her talking about some stuff after band yesterday, I'm absolutely furious at him. Now, I don't know for sure of anything that happened between them at all. So my anger doesn't really have a basis. All I know, is that I've put two and two together from things I've heard, and I'm praying I was wrong.
Oh, and this whole thing might totally end up proving my "psychic prediction" that I told Teresa about a couple weeks ago, right.
Let me just say, I will not be a happy little egg in the slightest if I end up being right. Seriously. And if I'm right, I will also be saying goodbye to one of my closest friends, because anyone who can completely forgive and get back together with someone who did such terrible things to him, and who was the first person to really tell me what an awful person the girl is (I really should have listened), is really not someone I want to associate with. Especially because of the several times I called him crying because of her in the past couple months.
Do me a favor, everyone cross your fingers and hope I'm wrong. You have no idea how badly I want to be.

Anyways, off that topic (although slightly related), my college kids are all home!!!!! I'm so happy!!!! Michael was at church on Sunday, and while I was at church, it was one of those times where it truely felt like all was right in the world.
At least, for that little while.
You have no idea how ecstatic it made me to walk into the social hall when we got there, and see him sitting on the stage like he used to when he was there every week, and happened to arrive before us.
I honestly kept glancing over at him during the service, because it was like my best friend is home, everything is okay now.
I mean, it's not like the world is perfect, but you know what I mean. It was really happy.
I love seeing my college kids so much. I truely miss them like a little piece of me is missing too when they're gone. I know that seems overdramatic, but I'm so close to so many of them, it's awful when they're gone.

The "Table Reunion Party" for my first semester lunch table last year is tomorrow!!! I'm seriously psyched out of my mind for it. Everyone at that table agreed that it was the best lunches they'd ever had. It was honestly so amazing that we always talk about it, even now. "Remember when......"
I personally was always so freaking excited for lunch every day. We laughed so hard every day. Everyone did.
Our college kid Tom is back in town, so we're having a "reunion" at my house tomorrow with everyone (except one girl), and it's going to be amazing.
I'm looking forward to it like crazyyyyyy!!!! Seriously, even my B-day lunch table this year, (I have a different lunch on A and B days all year this year, which sucks), which is amazing, will never surpass its awesomeness.

Lately, at least the past few days, I've been kind of depressed. I'm not really sure why, but I have been.
I mean, I've been rather upset ever since my teacher died a couple weeks ago, but it's something more than that. I can't really put my finger on what.
I was so happy when Justin and I started dating, and then we broke up, and after a little while, the anger was gone, and I felt so completely free and happy. Even happier than when we'd been together. But after a little while, that euphoria was gone, and it was replaced with the fact that since we broke up, it seems like bad things have been happening. I'm not quite sure why, but seriously, all the really bad things have happened since then.
When our family friend died, and then my teacher (and other little, bad things), I really didn't know who to talk to. I mean, I talked to my friends, but it felt sort of like I was just bothering them, and they really didn't know what to do. Which I totally understand.
But in the back of my mind, there was a little voice that every once and a while mentioned that if only I was still with Justin, I'd have someone to talk to and cry to.
Now, that's not to say that I want to get back together with him. I don't. Trust me. It's just that feeling I miss, not him. And I know that. But tell that to my brain, why don't you?
It's just......the solidity of him being there, and having him hold me when I cried. Friends can do that, but it's not the same. And neither is calling your really close friend Justin who is at college, practically in hysterics from sadness about, say, your teacher who died. It's just not the same.
I'm not trying to be dramatic, I'm just stating the truth.
I want something right now, I'm just not sure what. But I'm pretty darn sure it's not a boyfriend. I don't trust guys.
What reason do I have to? Despite that first month or so with Justin (my ex). Maybe month and a half. He wasn't lying. And he did break up with me to try and protect me from getting hurt; it just didn't work as well as he'd planned.
Yes, I really truely have forgiven him. But it's one of those "forgive, but don't forget kind of things."
Now, as for the other person, I'm not so sure how I feel about her, other than wanting to forgive her for my own sake. I haven't really entirely done it yet, and if I do, it will take a while. All I know, is that I don't speak to her unless I really can't avoid it, and I never want to be friends with her again.
Life is complicated......ugh.

What's been happening with you all, oh readers of my blog? I've blabbered on about my dramatic life for this whole post. Tell me something good and happy :-)

Christmas is on Saturday, and then I'm probably going to Wisconsin for a couple days. If you don't hear from me for a week, then I'll post again as soon as I can.

Merry Christmas, everyone!!!!!!!!!! Happy holidays!!!! Be safe!!!

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

PS- Sorry this was a rather angry and depressed post. I understand if you just skipped to the end, lol.

Thursday December 16, 2010: Christmas, and College Stuffs

2010-12-16T18:13:00.004-05:00

Song on Repeat: "I'll Be Home For Christmas" by Josh Groban
Mood: Intrigued
"Chrismas Eve will find me
Where the love light gleams
I'll be home for Christmas
If only in my dreams."

Hello, readers! Look at that, a nonweekend post!! I've done those lately, as you know. Sorry. I know nobody does blog stuff on the weekends, it just doesn't occur to me to do it until then as of lately.

Anyways, so today, it snowed!!! Thank goodness! Except for it's probably less than an inch. However, that's not the point. It was still snow. And we got out of school an hour early which was nice, but I sort of wish it could have been more. Tomorrow, we're hoping it will be at least a late arrival. But we'll see what happens. Now, I'm just hoping for more snow!! Ask anyone, I keep looking out the window constantly in class, praying for snow.

So in case you haven't noticed, Christmas is next Saturday!! I'm super excited!! Despite the fact that my family hasn't even gotten a tree yet.....we're going to work on that this weekend. It's kinda important. I mean, it's not necessary, because I'm sure some people can't even afford trees so they live without, but.....yeah. I'm rambling, sorrys. So yeah. Tree. This weekend. Anyhoodle.
Going along with Christmas is of course, the things that go along with the tree.....the presents!
Lately, I've been doing shopping for presents. I love giving people presents, even more than getting them! Seriously. And that tends to be a problem around Christmas, because I ask everyone what they want, so they of course ask me, and I tell them I don't care. Honestly, I do a lot of my shopping by just wandering around the mall, looking in stores I think people might like, and when something jumps out at me, I buy it for someone. And they usually end up loving it.
So lately, I've been arguing/constructively discussing with my friend Justin (not my ex), about what I want for Christmas, because I'm obviously giving him stuff. He's honestly my second best guy friend, and one of my best friends overall. I love him (as a friend) because he's just awesome. So he, naturally, wants to get me a present that I'm really going to like, and I keep telling him to just wander around and find something he thinks I'd like. Which he apparently thinks he can't do. It's just an interesting situation.
I love giving people stuff so much, so I always get fairly broke around Christmas. But it's worth it.
How do you pick your gifts for people?

As my friends know, I've been doing a lot of college related stuff lately. I've been looking on websites even more, and although I still have two and a half years, it's not like it's crazy for me to look.

Schools I'm considering right now are:
~Emerson College
~Beloit College
~Northwestern University
~West Virginia University
~Towson University (Because apparently, they really do have something very similar to a creative writing major......)

So yeah.
Good thing there's so much time!!!!

Well, I'm off to read and such.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Saturday December 11, 2010: Legit Excuse, and Other Things

2010-12-11T15:24:00.003-05:00

Song on Repeat: "Baby, It's Cold Outside"
Mood: Tired, wistful
"I’ve got to get home (Baby, you’ll freeze out there)
Say, lend me a comb (It’s up to your knees out there)
You’ve really been grand (I thrill when you touch my hand)
Oh, but don’t you see (How can you do this thing to me)"

I really do have an excuse for not posting this week until (and yes, I know nobody does blog stuff on the weekends, but I felt like I should post once this week, so here it is).

My excuse is that I was going to post on Wednesday, but I found out Wednesday in school that my advisor (like a homeroom teacher.....you have them all four years), died on Tuesday night. I was really freaking upset, so that's why I haven't posted until today. I haven't felt up to it. Or rather, today I just have the time, and sort of the energy (but not completely).
I came home on Wednesday after my Quint meeting, and literally went to my room and cried for about two hours or more. The only reason I came downstairs, was because I knew I had a project that I needed to get done that night, so I went downstairs, did my homework, and ate some Dominoes pizza. Not a good day at all.
As the rest of the week went by, it got a little better. I'm pretty much ok now, but I know it's one of those things that it will take a while to get over.
One of the most sad things, is that he's not going to be here to see us graduate. When you walk across the stage, your advisor is the first person you shake hands with.
No matter who they get to replace him, they will never be as good. As my friend said, "Whoever replaces him has big shoes to fill."

Today was my baby cousin's first birthday!!!! We went to her party at Nannie Banana's house, it was lots of fun. She's so freaking adorable, have I mentioned that?

It actually snowed yesterday. But it kinda sucked, because even though it only snowed probably less than an inch, the roads were really slushy and stuff. There was a rediculous amount of trouble because of the weather. Accidents, and awful traffic.....yeah. Not good. My opinion of snow, is that it should either snow at least an inch, or not at all. Like seriously. I hate it when it snows and everyone is excited, but you can still see the grass poking through and it melts really fast. Hate that. But one of the problems yesterday was that there was only a small percent chance of snow, and it was for the afternoon. It snowed before noon. But whatever. Hopefully, it will snow again more, and soon!!!! There's at least one chance this week, according to the Weather Channel. I'm crossing my fingers!!!

Well, I can't really focus on anything right now (I really haven't been able to since Tuesday), so I'm off to eat pizza and watch Elf!!!!

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

PS- I don't know if I mentioned it or not, but my first basketball practice was on Tuesday. It went rather awfully. And, long story short, I quit. I don't want to be a quitter, but I knew it wasn't worth it, so I quit. Yeah, that's all.

Sunday December 4, 2010: Whoa, An Actual Decent Post!

2010-12-05T16:36:00.003-05:00

Song on Repeat: "White Christmas" by Irving Berlin
Mood: Psyched!
"I'm dreaming
Of a white Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know
Where the treetops glisten
And chidren listen
To hear sleighbells in the snow"

Just so you know, I actually put effort into this. I planned it out this morning on the way to church, or at least the basic ideas. (And yes, it's like an eight minute drive, but oh well. At least there was some effort, and you probably won't gouge your eyes out from boredom).
Ahem.
Anyhoodle.

So this morning, I woke up a little earlier than I have to for church, which annoyed me. And I was most of the way back to sleep when The Father came in to wake me up. Of freaking course.
But I was, for some reason, remembering my drum major audition from this past spring.
Now, it sometimes randomly pops into my head. I'm not quite sure why.
I mean, yes, it was a rather important event in my life. Or rather, high school career, (but to impress one of my band directors that much is rather like a once in a lifetime experience).
In any case, it's never terribly far from my mind.
Somehow, it has ended up becoming my Happy Place.
Now, something about me, I usually have a happy place, but it's not usually that big of a deal.
For example, when I was dating Justin.
My Happy Place was sitting in our "spot" by the gym/auditiorium lobby eating and talking or whatever. I just loved doing that. I'm not really sure there was a specific thing connected to that place, but it seemed more like it was just where we were somewhat alone, and had lots of fun. So it became somewhere I associated with being happy.
Now, it's nothing special. There are just those memories of being there and joking around.
Happy Places are always different, and I've been sort of thinking about them more since the summer. (Yes, of freaking course, this is related to Justin).
I don't even remember why, but he was having a bad day, probably during August band camp, and I told him to go to his Happy Place. And he told me he didn't really have one, so I, of course, helped him come up with one.
Band camp is a really stressful experience, there's no denying it. No matter how much fun you're having, you're also exhausted, probably hungry, sore everywhere, and sweating in places you didn't know could sweat. In addition to that, there's the little voice in your head that says "I could be sitting on Facebook/watching tv in the AIR CONDITIONING/swimming in the COLD WATER/doing anything BUT this right now." So you sometimes, (or rather often) need to picture yourself doing one of those things while in the middle of basics block and you're standing there in one step forward, begging mentally to put your toe down, or running to find a stop sign because stupid people wouldn't shut up, or are thisclose to screaming at people to stop being dumb, etc etc.
Anyways, he needed one, so I gave him the image of laying on his couch in the basement, watching Avatar and eating mashed potatoes (his food of choice on that day.....I don't even know). So it became one of our many "things".
We'd tell each other to "go to your happy place!" when we were getting particularly frustrated.
As the school year started, we sort of got out of the habit of saying it. But every once and a while, I'd remember my Happy Place when I was upset. Sometimes, those times in my memories totally calmed me down (for some reason), or at least made me smile when I was ready to scream.
So currently, as I'm already stressed and slightly freaking out about drum major auditions (despite the fact that they're about five months away), last year's audition has become my go-to place.
What's your Happy Place?

Now might be a good time to address the topic of this year's audition, and why I'm so stressed out.
Last year, it was more for the experience than anything. I was expecting to be drum major, or even assistant. And I probably wouldn't have even done it if it wasn't for Michael, Andrew [The Drum Major], and other people, pushing me to do it.
This year, there's actually something riding on the audition.
If it goes well, I'll end up as assistant. So besides that, where does the stress come in?
Well, there are three other people in my grade auditioning, along with last year's assistant.And I'm friends (in varying degrees), with all of them. So I'm worried about who will get it.
In addition, the people in my grade are more of favorite with the directors, or at least one of the directors. I'm afraid that they'll end up getting it because of that, and the fact that everyone who is auditioning, except for me, is in wind ensemble. They're all better at their instruments than I am. And that also means everyone else will have been playing the audition piece. And because I won't be, I'll be teaching it to myself. Again.
Not that there's really a problem with that; it's not that bad. It just gives them more of an advantage.
But in addition to all of that, there's the fact that I've been told by at least eight people that they'd prefer me to last year's assistant, as drum major. Which, instead of making me happy, is worrying me even more.
I'd be miserable if I got it this year instead of him. I'd feel terrible.
Instead of being thrilled and excited by assistant, I'd be crying after being drum major. It would just be a sucky situation.
Luckily, I highly doubt that that's going to happen, so now, I just have to stress about who will get assistant. Like I said, they're more of favorites (in my opinion, even though according to Teresa, the directors like me, too), but I have an advantage too, because I auditioned last year, and impressed the directors so much.
It's about even.
Now, I just have to wait a few months until the audition. No stress. No pressure. (Yeah, right).
I'm sorry; I've been stressing about this like crazy recently. Because I'm crazy, clearly.
Anyways.

Tonight is the Ravens vs. Steelers game!!!! Heck to the yes.
Guess who's gonna win!?!
Despite the picks of those on the FOX Pregame today, it'll be the Ravens. <3
I might just cry if they don't. Seriously.
Anastasia is coming over to watch at least until halftime.
I've been chilling all afternoon, and I'm going to shower before she comes over, so I don't have to stay up even later and shower after it's over.
Honestly, if the Ravens win, it'll be worth being so tired at school tomorrow. Of course, I may be forced to go to bed before it's over (but I'll argue!!!), and I may fall asleep before it's over. But darnet, I'll give it my best try.
To those who will have to put up with my grumpy wrath tomorrow (from being tired, not from them losing.....if they lose, which they won't, it'll be even worse)......I'm sorry. Good luck.

Well, I'm off to relax some more. I hope everyone had a good weekend!! Thanks for putting up with reading my band obsessed rants.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Friday December 3, 2010: Not Much....

2010-12-03T15:39:00.002-05:00

Song on Repeat: "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga
Mood: Happy!
"I want your love
And I want your revenge
You and me
Could write a bad romance"

Hello, everyone!!! Apparently, this whole "posting once a week or more" thing hasn't been going so well....oops. I can't promise anything for the future about this, clearly. I'm trying to do better, I swear!! Time just gets ahead of me, and then you get posts like this. All the time. Sorry.

So....what did I last tell you? Lets see. Not much interesting has been happening!!
Seriously.
My Thanksgiving break went well. I got most of the stuff on my list done, although not all of it, and some of the things were variations of what was on the list, but oh well.
I'm trying to think of interesting stories..... Hmmmm.
There was seriously something that I thought of this week, and thought "that would be cool to blog about!" but.....whatever.

It's been rather cold down here. No snow yet, but it keeps feeling like it's going to! Well, there has been snow, but only a few flakes here and there, not anything too serious where I live, at least. As my friend put it at lunch today, "It's snowing!! Like, a flake a minute. But still!" That pretty much describes the weather for the past few days. It really needs to snow lots. We've all been going crazy. Well, I don't want it to snow as much as last year, but still, it should snow. A few inchaes at least.

Ok, I'm being reduced to list making for something to talk about. My apologies.

Interesting Things Going on in My Life Currently:
- I have a 96.67% in my psych class, which rounds up to 97%!!!!
- My baby cousin's birthday is next week!!! She's freaking adorable. Have I mentioned that before?
- I got my class ring today!!! They told us it wouldn't come until January, so it was a HUGE surprise. I really like it!!! The only thing that isn't so good is it's kinda big because it's freezing cold, so I think my finger is smaller than usual.

Aaaaaand that's about it for now, I think.

Well, I'm off to read your blogs and then read a book.

Peace, Magic and Music,

~*Me*~

Monday November 22, 2010: I Don't Actually Have An Excuse

2010-11-22T17:55:00.003-05:00

Song on Repeat: "One Day Too late" by Skillet
Mood: Optimistic
"Tick-tock, hear the clock count down
Wish the minute hand could be rewound
So much to do
And so much I need to say,
Would tomorrow be too late?"

This time, I really don't have an excuse for my lack of posting. I kept tellingy myself "I'll do it tomorrow," and then I never did. Oops. But I'm posting now, so....yeah. I'll try and be better at that.

There hasn't been much I need to tell you about going on. I mean, there have been things, but not really stuff that needs to be shared with you all.

Today, I went on a tour of the lovely Teresa's future college with her. It was fun!!! I actually really liked it. If they had a creative writing major, I honestly would apply there, despite my many declarations that I will never go to college in state. But they don't have a creative writing major, so I'll just have to find another school with simliar things that I like about it. I'm sure it won't be hard, there are a bazillion schools out there, and even though not a ton have creative writing majors, I'm sure I'll find one I like.

Lets see.....well, I'm excited for watching sports tonight. We have off school all week, so I'm excited for spending lots of time with friends!! Tomorrow, I'm having a "girls day out" with The Mother, Sister Dearest, and Nannie Banana. My sister suggested it the other day. I hope it doesn't last all day, so I'll be able to finish my psych project.

This week, I need to:
~Finish my psych project
~hang out with Josh
~hang out with Cynthia (and go ice skating?!)
~sleepover with Sarah
~Quint lunch dealie on Saturday!!
~hang out with Justin?
~practice Delilah!!
~go to a playoff football game with my lovely friend Emily for the team my uncle coaches
I get to see most of my college kids this week, I'm happy!!!!

It's going to be a busy week, but definitely worth it!! I can't wait.
I love having plans and things to do, and then actually doing them. It's my favorite thing.
Oh yeah, I also need to go mini golfing with Jason this week!! Although we probably won't end up doing it, as we've been planning on it for months. He's one of those friends that you make plans with and say you need to do them, and you never do. I miss him, though! He's a good friend.

I'm sorry this has been kinda boring....I'm not really thinking about this too hard. I'll try and write a better post this week.

I'm off to be lazy and get ready to watch some sports tonight!!

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Tuesday November 9, 2010: I Have Returned!

2010-11-09T15:56:00.004-05:00

Song on Repeat: "Ridin' Solo" by Jason Derulo
Mood: I have this little pit of anger in a little corner of my stomach.....
"I'm feeling like a star
You can't stop my shine
I'm lovin' cloud nine,
My head's in the sky
I'm solo, I'm ridin' solo"

Hello, everyone! I've returned from The Land of the Dead, aka The Point of No Social Life Or Free Time.
Or, you could just call it marching band season.
At any rate, it's done, and just in time. Yeah, my last competition was last weekend. So why did it take me over a week to write this post?
Quite honestly, I've sort of actually been planning it out, in addition to being kind of occupied with other things. Lets fill you all in, shall we?

First of all, I'd like to say that it really does feel good to be blogging again. And I will be posting at least once a week again, starting now. Obviously, I'm in high school and have other things to do, so if there's a bit of a gap between posts again, I apologise.

I've decided to do lists for this post.

Things that have happened since I last posted:
~We won our regional competition. Which means that we won it two years in a row, and are the only school from our state, and one of the few in the country who has won three regionals!!
~My boyfriend broke up with me. Remember how I said you'd approve of him, especially after The Aleks Incident? Welllll.....lets just say that has changed. And I'm no longer friends with someone I'd been friends with for five years. And everyone says that since he's now with her, he downgraded from me. Oh, and another thing? They're not even official because he supposedly "doesn't have time to date," which was his reason for breaking up with me.
*****Lets just say this. I'm not mad anymore. This happened about three weeks ago or so. I've let go of my anger at them (at least, almost entirely), and I've forgiven them. I couldn't live with myself if I was angry, or didn't forgive them. Being unforgiving just eats you up inside. However, I'm not speaking to either of them, or even looking at them if I can help it. It makes me mad and sad to think that I wasn't good enough for him, or to think that, like Aleks, he was probably leading me on at least part of the time, near the end. He's a good liar. I never want to speak to either of them again. Almost the whole [marching] band hates her, and are mad at him. I love my friends so much, they've really helped me so much in getting through this. So yeah.******
~We went to a super regional, and didn't even make finals. That weekend was probably one of the worst weekends of my life, to be honest.
~I've moved on from being so angry and sad, and feel so much better!!!
~I made a pumpkin cheesecake with my friend Justin, who was home visiting from college!!
~Yeah, this past weekend was just great.
So that's about it for that list.

Words or phrases I can no longer say:
~"bum"
~"It's so fluffy!!!!!!!!"
~"I don't wanna!"

Things I want to do:
~Entirely get rid of thses not happy feelings
~Find a guy at some point in my life who is not a liar, and actually cares.
~Get an A in geometry
~Resist exploding
~Make a decision about what the heck my schedule is going to be for next year!
~Practice conducting
~Practice trumpet
~"Move alooooooong"
~Get rid of my slight Facebook addiction, haha
~Start my homework when I'm done writing this post.
~Get a job

People I now talk to:
~Richard
~My friend Justin (the one who's in college, not my ex)
~Cynthia
~Perry
~Teresa
~*SHANNON

I think that's about all I have to say right now.
Oh, and it's creepy to see the resemblance between your dreams and what's happening in your life. (I'm doing a dream journal for psych). Anyways.

Thanks for reading this, because you clearly cared enough to stay subscribed to me, and wait until my next post.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Thursday October 13, 2010: Updates (Since It's Been Forever!)

2010-10-14T16:17:00.002-04:00

Song on Repeat: "Thunder" by Boys Like Girls
Mood: Completely exhausted
"Your voice
Was the soundtrack to my summer
I don't want to ever love another
You'll always be my thunder"

Why, hello there, Blog! It's been about a month, hasn't it? I would say oops and apologise, but I did warn you about it. So don't be mad!!!!
As usual, there really hasn't been much interesting going on but band. We won our first two competitions!!! They were great. And we have our next one this Saturday. Then next Saturday at the same place, and then a Super Regional in the Georgia Dome in Atlanta, Georgia!!!!
I'm so excited!!!!!! And nervous. The last time the band went was when I was in eighth grade, so I haven't been there before. However, everyone says it's amazing, and the turf is like marching on clouds. I guess we'll see in two weeks! (Wow, that's a scary thought!).
We had rehersal last night from 6-9 where our next two competitions are, but it's about 45 minutes away from our school, and, long story short, I didn't get to bed until after 11, and didn't fall asleep until after 11:30. The whole band walked around like zombies today, we were all exhausted. And the lights had to be off in all my classes for at least part of the class today. Of course.
I definitely almost fell asleep in every class today. Seriously. It was awful. I'm rather grumpy right now.
The rain and clouds are so not helping my mood.
Rehersal tomorrow from 9-5, and then on Saturday from 9-4, and then we're going to the competition. And we were supposed to have off school tomorrow....however, we're spending all day at rehersal instead. Exactly how I want to spend my day off.
But enough of band, you really don't care. Trust me, I know. However, the last time we were at this exact competition last year, we scored like a 95.6 or so. Or was it a 96? Anyways.
We'll see what happens.

So homecoming was last weekend. (This is a topic I'm sure you'll actually want to read about). It was sooooooo fun!!!!!!!! I had an amazing time. I had like, six friends over to get dressed, and then two of us had dates, so they were there, and it was just lots of fun.
Justin and I were adorable together, if I do say so myself, and we got a $5 gift card to Chick-Fil-A for "dancing appropriately."
We're awesome.
The pictures are tres cute, and I wish we could do that night again, because it was awesome!!!

There's really nothing else interesting to update you about. Except.....How about those Ravens?! Haha.

Well I'm off to snack, relax, and watch the end of That 70's Show.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Sunday September 19, 2010: Lately, and My Life Today

2010-09-19T19:51:00.003-04:00

Song on Repeat: "If My Heart Was a House" by Owl City
Mood: Tired, excited :-)
"Risk it all
'Cause I'll catch you if you fall
Whereever you go,
If my heart was a house
You'd be home"

My apologies for the lack of posts lately. I really have been busy with band and homework, and then relaxing in my limited ampunt of free time.
There are a couple things I'd like to share with you.

One thing is a little bit of a rant.
I was on Facebook a couple weeks ago, and was reading a Note written by someone I knew, and it was one of those questionaire things. One of the questions was "What is your biggest fear?"
The person said, and I quote, "Gay people and spiders."
My mouth literally dropped open, and I stared at it for a few seconds.
Are you freaking kidding me?! Really, people?!
It made me wonder. What makes people think that people who are GLBT (gay, lesbian, bisexual, transsexual) are really something to fear? What is scary about a perfectly normal person? So what if they are in love with someone who is the same gender as them?
It's because of people that, that GLBT people don't have the same rights as everyone else. What makes them so different? I mean really. Do you have to be so intolerant?!
I would be willing to bet that a large percent of the band would never guess if they didn't know, that one of our tech's is a lesbian. I didn't know until I became friends with her on Facebook, but it didn't change my opinion of her at all. I still look up to her, and think she's a really nice person and very good at what she does.
If other members of the band who were less tolerant knew, would they treat her differently? I'm willing to bet they might.
Anyways, this sort of bothers me. A lot. I just felt that I needed to rant about that.

Besides that, I might have mentioned before that I'm editor-in-chief of my school's literary magazine. Well, our first meeting was last Wednesday after school!! I think it went really well. I'm excited for the rest of the year!!

We're having our first marching band competition on Saturday!!! I'm excited!! But nervous.
The show is going to finally be finished this week!! And I completely rewrote my dotbook in a new notebook today, which took about three hours or so. It was crazy.
For those of you who don't know, a dotbook is where you write your drill, or where you go on the field for marching band. This year, in addition to just the coordinates of where we're supposed to be, our dirctors decided we need to have the music written in and the form drawn. That's a lot more work when writing it. The form isn't so bad, but the music needs to be copied, cut out, and either glued or taped on the right pages. It's a pain in the butt. But at least it's finally done (albiet a little later than it should have been, but it is. And also, it's in a new notebook because the cover fell off the other one).
I'm going to be very busy until the beginning of Novemeber, so don't expect many posts until then.

Tomorrow is the 20th, and also the one month anniversary of my boyfriend and I. I'm sort of excited for it. :-)
I haven't really talked about him on here, but he's amazing, very sweet, and I believe that all of you who know about my little issue with Aleks would definitely approve. He's a definite improvement over that situation, and I'm a happy little bum.
You'll probably hear more on the subject later.

Well, I'm off to watch the end of an episode of M*A*S*H.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Sunday September 5, 2010: School, Band, and Improvement

2010-09-05T12:35:00.004-04:00

Song on Repeat: "Someone Somewhere" by Jason Reeves
Mood: tired, neutral
"Maybe that someone is me
Maybe it's meant to be
Lovers, strangers,
Sometimes bombs fall quietly"

First of all, my apologies for not posting again! As per usual. I wish I wasn't so lazy!! Yes, stuff has certainly been happening in my life. Stuff that I'm fairly certain those of you who don't know, but are regular readers (all two or something of you), will want to know. So after this post, you'll be all caught up on my life. And hopefully, I'll post again in the next week.

School started last Tuesday. Besides my Foundations of Tech class (which is boring and is not going to be fun at all, and I would definitely not take it if it wasn't required to graduate), I think it's going to be a good semester.
Psychology is definitely my favorite class this semester. It's a little difficult, but mostly understanding/memorizing terms and concepts. I think with a reasonable amount of studying, I'll do well. I'm excited. The only thing I haven't liked so far in that class, besides my teacher saying that it's not really a good class for freshmen and sophomores to take (completely ignoring the four, now five sophomores in the class), is that on Friday, we watched most of an episode of the A&E show Hoarders. If you don't know, it's a documentary type show about people who hoard things. It's definitely interesting. The episode we watched followed a family who lived in Kansas, and an elderly woman who lived in Wisconsin. The wife in the family from Kansas was a shopping addict, and then husband was a compulsive hoarder, meaning that their house was completely full of things the woman would buy that the man wouldn't get rid of. He bought things too, which he thought would be useful in the future, and wouldn't get rid of them. The woman from Wisconsin was a compulsive food hoarder. That was what really bothered me.
Now, this is little known information about me; food bothers me. Seriously. I'm weird, I know, but the idea of certain foods is so gross to me. So my diet is rather limited. I don't really try new things unless I have to. But another thing that really bothers me is mold. Especially mold on food. I can't deal with it. At all. It's one of the most repulsive things you can show me. Anything inside the human (or animal) body, and moldy food disgust me an amazingly large amount. So when they showed her house, I didn't even glance up at the screen because I didn't know what they were going to show. Just the thought of it makes me feel a little sick. So yeah, that wasn't pleasant. At all. We're watching the last ten or so minutes on Tuesday, and then it will be over (thank goodness).
This year is definitely getting off to a great start, and I sincerely think it's going to be a great year.

This past week, we had rehersal for marching band after school from 2:45-5:45 on Tuesday, from 6-9 on Thursday, and then from 4-6 before the football game on Friday. It was a busy week.
It was also extremely hot this past week!! In the 90's (as opposed to this weekend, where it's in the 70's). So naturally after school on Tuesday, we were all so tired from getting up early for school and all the school nonsense, that the heat completely drained us (isn't that right, Teresa and Shannon?). Thursday wasn't quite so bad because it was in the evening, but it was full band (which included battery, pit, and guard) as opposed to the winds only rehersal on Tuesday. (That's how we usually do it; all winds from 2:45-5:45 on Tuesday then guard, pit and battery from 6-9 on Tuesday and everyone from 6-9 on Thursday). So it went pretty well. But we always get yelled at more when it's full band. More people, so more talking. We did get a lot done this week though. We played at the football game Friday as a pep band, and also did our show at halftime. Everyone loved us, of course. We're awesome. Not to brag or anything.
This week, we have rehersal Tuesday and Friday from 2:45-5:45 and then on Saturday from 9-5. We're going to be exhausted. But on the plus side, we'll have the whole show (drill, I mean. We've had the music done for a while) done by the end of Saturday. It's about 23 or so pages of drill, but I think we'll get it done.
Everyone's just going to be, you know, dead by the end of Saturday's rehersal.

Life is definitely looking up for me. It's going to be a good year, like I said. Remember what I mentioned so vaguely at the end of my last post? Well, it's all good now. My parentals are now aware of the fact that I have a boyfriend (and now you are too! Oh snap).
Sometimes, life gives you a wonderful present. Sometimes, good things happen because of strange reasons. Sometimes, you don't have to be so depressed that summer ends, because you know that another one will always come; you just have to wait for it.
Our band is going to be great this year, life as a sophomore is definitely better than life as a freshman, more responsibility comes (but that's not always a bad thing), you go into life with someone new who has total faith in you, confidence improves, and it seems like God is smiling at you because you're so happy.
(Right now, I'm trying to focus on being happy, instead of dreading the inevidable badness that will no doubt come in the next couple months. Lets face it, you can't just be happy. Life doesn't work like that).
My main regret is that Michael is now settled cozily in at college, and won't be returning until October for a weekend (that's actually the weekend of homecoming). So he's not here for this wonderful early fall feeling. I wish he was here, so much. It's like something in me can tell that he's not next door. Like a constant tiny break in the happiness and optomism; this would be even better if only Michael was next door for me to tell these stories to in person. If only he was at church to laugh with. (I secretly still watch the door before we start rehersing for church band on Sunday mornings, because some part of me still has hope that his tall, thin figure will walk in the door carrying a baritone case). But it's only a month until he gets home, and then my world will be complete for a weekend before he goes back again.

Well, I'm off to do homework and attempt to make a frozen pizza (and those of you who know my "cooking" history know this will be a challenge).

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Monday August 23, 2010: Returning Again, Band, and Complications

2010-08-23T11:22:00.002-04:00

Song on Repeat: "Drops of Jupiter" by Train
Mood: tireddddd, and excited, yet nervous and anxious
"Plain ol' Jane
Told a story about a man
Who was too afraid to fly
So he never did land"

Sorry for the long gap between posts! I can honestly say it wasn't intentional this time. I just let the time slip by without bothering to post. But whatever.
I've been rather busy with band, which I'll use as an excuse.
So, lets hear the updates on my life, shall we?

I managed to survive two five day weeks of band, 9-9, without even breaking Rule Number 2!!!! (Don't die). Admittedly, I did have to sit down for a little while twice during the first week, but after those days, I was fine. Honesly? I don't even remember that much about either week (besides this past Friday.....for multiple reasons). I spent a lot of the time running around and trying to make certain things happen, being gossiped about (for reasons I won't specificly name at the present moment), trying to conserve energy, getting small amounts of rests during food breaks, and ranting how the football players are crazy if they think we work less than them, because they were only doing two-a-days, and we were going with having less than 3 hours break for the 12 hour days.
I mean, I truely respect all the work they put in to what they do. I have an uncle who coaches high school football, I know how hard they work. I just don't think they have any right to say we don't work at least as hard as they do, because we do, if not more. Anyways. Off that little rant. (And for the record, once again, I LOVE football, and have absolutely nothing against it or any of the players. But they should stop hating on the band).
So Friday was Preview Show!!! Which meant working nonstop all day in the freaking hot sun, including an Easy Bake Oven Rehersal (which is what it's not so affectionately called when we have to wear our shakos to reherse; it's called that because your head gets hot so fast, it's like an easy bake oven), and having an hour and 45 minute dinner break instead of the usual two hours, when we were originally supposed to have three hours. Plus, they didn't really "mow" the football field because of many setbacks, so the grass just got evened out with the lawnmower. So it was more terrible to march on than usual (and as much as I love our school, I'm much more partial to turf fields, even if they do harbor Turf Monkeys) to march on. But the show went on! Despite the chunks of weeds growing everywhere, especially between two certain yardlines, which made it just a bundle of fun to march on using proper technique (it was more of trying not to trip and fall, at least for me. With part of the proper technique).
I kinda did rather badly during the actual preview show, because during the standstill, I kept puting my horn up and down at random times, and confusing the people next to me. But after it happened four times, I mentally beat myself up, got my head in it, and didn't mess up again.
The moving run through, I actually don't remember. At all. Which is actually rather common with band members. You don't remember anything about it at all, except maybe a random thing or two, and/or if you messed up, and usually only then if it was a bad mess up. So not remembering is probably a good thing. Your brain just sort of blocks it out, so it's like you lost about seven minutes of your life. A tad strange, but mostly only if someone remembers something, asks if you remember it, and you say no.
So the fun filled two weeks (I love sarcasm) of August Band Camp are over until next year!
(Thank goodness).

Have you ever had something happen, and it's something you sort of want/need to tell people, say, your parents, about? But you don't know how to tell them? Because they might freak out?
Yeah. Love those times.
Like "I should be happy about this, and am, but I they're sort of ruining it and don't realize it." Well, not really ruining, but making stressful.
Blegh.
Life is a complicated thing, dear children. It really is. It doesn't have to be, but people seem to be fond of making it so. We'll see how this turns out.

Well, I'm off to go read or something.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Sunday August 8, 2010: I'm Back, Band, and Updates

2010-08-08T19:39:00.002-04:00

Song on Repeat: "She Don't know She's Beautiful" by Sammy Kershaw
Mood: Anxious, Resigned
"She don't know she's beautiful
(Never crossed her mind)
She don't know she's beautiful
Though time and time I've told her so"

Well readers, I'm back from my little vacation there. Of course, this doesn't mean I'm going to be back to posting all the time, unfortunately. My schedule from now until like, November, is insanely busy. Thank youuuuuu, marching band. Seriously, we have such an insane rehersal, competition, and football game schedule that I'll have hardly any free time for blogging, I'm thinking. It's all due to the fact that we're going to the Georgia Dome in October for a competition. So we need a ton of practice. So if I can, then I'll probably post, but if I don't, you'll know why.
Oh, and added on to band is the fact that I'm editor in chief of the school literary magazine, so I'm going to be working like crazy on stuff to do with that, too. This is going to be a very busy fall.
School starts on August 31st!! I don't even want to think about it, honestly. This year is going to be insane. But it will definitely be fun, too!!

So, band. August Band Camp starts tomorrow. I just might break Rule Number 2 and die. (And no Teresa, you or anyone else will not then have to kill me. Hmph.)
It's going to be freaking hot this week, in the 90's all week. I'm going to cry. At least all my friends will be there dying, too. I just really feel like it's going to be terrible.
We shall see how it turns out.
And to top off the awfulness of the week, Michael is leaving for college on Friday morning!!!! He's going to be about 10 hours or so away. I'm going to miss him like crazy!!!! And yes, I am indeed going to cry on Friday. A lot. So just fyi, Teresa and Shannon, that's the reason. I don't even want to think about him leaving!!!! It seems surreal.
Band's going to be occupying so much of my time this year, obviously. Yeah, I don't want to think about that, either.

I'm assuming you will be wanting updates on my life lately.
Well, last weekend, we went to the beach from Saturday until Monday. I thought it was a rather poinless trip, considering how short it was. So then Wednesday morning, we left and went to Illinois for our annual golf tournament that we go to. I got back last night. It was fun! I sort of wish we were still there. I loved the family friends we were staying with, I hope that I am able to go back next year (if band doesn't interfere like last year) and we stay with them.
Other than that, not really a lot has been going on. My baby cousin, aunt, and uncle came over today to go swimming!! That was really fun. I love that baby so much. She's so adorable and sweet......yeah, I love her.
I wrote like, four poems today. I actually like them. I haven't been writing much poetry lately, but what I do write, I like a lot. Hello, progress!!!

Let me know what you think of the changes I've made to Le Blog de BleuTrumpet (including the new name!).
I'm off to watch Family Matters (I love that show!!) and get ready for band (ugh).

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Monday July 5, 2010: Camp, and Perfection

2010-07-05T17:11:00.002-04:00

Song on Repeat: "If It's Love" by Train
Mood: tired, reminiscent....
"And if I'm addicted to loving you,
And you're addicted to my love too,
Then we'd be those
Two birds of a feather
That flock together"

Sorry about the lack of posting, yet again. Marching band, and then Camp happened! I have excuses. But I think I'm going to take time off blogging, at least for the summer. I don't like feeling obligated to post about once a week when I really don't feel like it, so I'm only going to post if I feel like it. I'll still read your blogs, but I'm not really going to write my own. Once I finish the next chapter(s) of The Story, I'll post them. But yeah, I'll be taking some time off after this post.
Currently, I'm just watching That 70's Show and laughing.

So Camp went from last Sunday afternoon until this past Saturday morning. Once again, it was the best week of the year. I might or might not have had to try really hard not to cry on the ride home. It's so traumatizing for it to end though! You wouldn't believe it!!
I'm going to miss all of my friends from there sooooooo much! Our little group was pretty much the same as last year, besides removing Vinny, adding my one friend's roommate, and this one girl who we started talking to and wouldn't leave!!! Seriously. Like I was chilling in my room with my friend and we were just listening to my iPod and talking, and then the girl came in and wouldn't leave!!!! I was like dude, really?! And we didn't want to be rude and ask her to leave, but she was driving us crazy. So we just put up with it until more people came in.
Some of my favorite memories from the week involve Anastasia doing extremely hilarious things! Our one friend actually had an asthma attack because she was laughing so hard!! Which made us laugh a lot, although I felt a little bad for laughing at her. She was fine though.
But yeah, the week went amazingly well!
Everything went fine with Aleks being there, too. I mean, yes, I couldn't stop myself from slipping in a rude and comments that could be interpreted as nice or mean. But we ended up accidently becoming partners for this Irish stepdancing thing. But it was surprisingly fun! We were actually laughing the whole time, and I didn't mind being partners with him. That sealed the awesomeness of the week, because we were totally civil to each other when forced to hang out. I did feel a little bad about being rude until an incident on the last night where I got rather very mad, but that's not the point. I don't really care what happened because he was there, that was such a minor part of the week.
I really wish that I was back there though!! I miss it sooooooooo much already!!

During summer, sometimes there are those perfect moments that you never want to end. Like for example, Saturday night. Sister Dearest, The Father and I went over to Michael's house and Michael and Sister Dearest played guitar and sang, and I sang too. It was fun. It was one of those times that you really don't want to end. Like if you could freeze time right then, you would. It's the same with Camp, there were those times that I still relive over and over in my head because they were so awesome. Life is just great sometimes.

Anyways, yeah, I guess this is when my break is going to start. Don't unsubscribe, I'll be back. I just need to have some time off.

I hope all of your summers are going great!!

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Sunday June 20, 2010: Father's Day, and Vacation

2010-06-20T16:58:00.004-04:00

Song on Repeat: "Smile" by Uncle Kracker
Mood: sleepy
"You make me dance like a fool,
Forget how to breathe,
Shine like gold,
Buzz like a bee,
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh you make me smile"

That song sorta popped into my head earlier and made me think of someone....Teresa knows who!!! Haha

So today is Father's Day, and I spent the early part of the day (and by early, I mean like midnight) and yesterday evening driving home from vacation. Today is the day to celebrate, buy presents for/give presents to/both your Father Parental, or the father figure in your life.
A lot of the time when I think of The Father and I, I think of this picture that The Mother took of us when I was really little. We're both making a funny face and laughing.
I don't remember that at all, and would have no clue about it if it weren't for the fact that the picture is hanging up in our guest room.
The Father is the main reason for my love of 80's movies, tv shows, and music. We jam out and sing along to classic rock when we're in the car together going somewhere, which makes an iPod not necessary for the ride.
(I always bring my iPod with me in the car because I listen to it when music I don't like is on. Such as country, when it's a certain type, or it's not summer. More about that later).
Anyways, Happy Fathers Day to all the dads out there reading this.

Like I said before, we just got back from vacation in Wisconsin.
Some of the hilights of the trip were.....
~Obsessively reading every lisence plate I could as we drove through Chicago, hoping to spot Frank. No such luck. (I'm a creeper).
~Just chilling with my aunt and The Mother at my aunt, uncle, and cousins' house.
~My cousin giving me a henna tattoo
~going to Waffle House at about 4:45 in the morning today and sitting in the car with Sister Dearest while The Parentals were in the restaurant eating (Sister Dearest and I weren't hungry)
~My Grandpa's surprise 70th birthday party, which is pretty much the reason we went up there in the first place.
It was a fun trip, but I'm really glad to be home. I also need to do some exercising before marching band starts on Wednesday; I've been doing a lot of eating this week!!!! I don't even want to step on the scale tonight. Not that I think I'm fat, but it's harder to do the warming up "Lortzercising" stuff when you've been pigging out for a week, and haven't bothered to try and get rid of the extra calories I've gotten.
But you know, it's only three days, right? Lets see, how did it go last year? Oh, reading that post brought back memories!!!

Well, I'm off to maybe watch a movie. Have a good week, because I probably won't post again.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Friday June 11, 2010: Parties, Memories, and Looking Ahead

2010-06-11T20:49:00.002-04:00

Song on Repeat: "Summertime" by Kenny Chesney
Mood: Little tired, excited
"And it's
Two bare feet on the dashboard,
Young love, and an old Ford,
Cheap shades, and a tattoo,
And a Yoohoo bottle on the floorboard
Perfect song on the radio,
Sing along, cuz it's one we know,
It's a smile, it's a kiss, it's a sip of wine,
It's summertime"

Welcome back, Summer! I missed you. A lot. We really need to get together more often! I feel like we spend more time apart than together, and I'm not a big fan of that. You're my favorite! Don't believe any other seasons if they tell you I said differently.
Weeeeell, I do have a rather large thing for spring. (I'm also a big fan of rhymes, but they aren't a season. They're an all year thing).
Anyways.

So I'm spending like, all weekend at parties!!!
Today was Sister Dearest's end of the school year party, tomorrow, I'm going to my friend Tori's graduation party, and then my birthday party. Then on Sunday, I have my birthday party with my family (and it's also my actual birthday). Then, we're leaving in the middle of the night on Sunday/early Monday morning, to drive to Wisconsin!
I feel like I have no freaking rest at all this summer. Maybe I can talk The Parentals out of going to the ocean this summer in favor of more time chilling at home. Or possibly talking them into letting me bring a friend with us if we go. Here's hoping.
So yeah, I will get like no sleep in the next week. So I'll be nice and cranky through all of marching band the week after we get home if I don't get to sleep and do nothing all day on that Monday and Tuesday.
Then the Sunday after that is when Camp starts! Aka, my favorite week of the year! I don't care if people aren't going to be there this year, it's still going to be ah-mazing.
At my party tomorrow, almost all of my favorite Seniors are going to be there, so I get to give them the graduation presents I picked out for them at the mall with Lexie on Wednesday.

On this date last year, I was feeling similar to how I'm feeling currently. Apparently.
But lately, I've been thinking of other things, such as how my friend Justin is reminding me of Aleks. Which has been freaking the crap out of me.
I just can't deal with that child! So at Camp this year, I'm going to pretend to forget the present I told him I'd give him (his Christmas present) and simply ignore him all week.
Sounds like a plan to me. But I know that Justin is an actual, true friend, unlike Aleks. I just am bothered by the similarities.....Because of bad experiences, I guess.
Horray for trust issues! ;-)
Seriously, I am texting him now and being weirded out.
Not a big issue though. I love Justin, he's awesome. He helps me with all issues that I have, and offers to come over at six in the morning to make waffles and cheesecake. (He's not serious). (But I wish he was).

So we got our schedules for this coming year. Mine doesn't look too bad. I'm pretty excited for it, actually.
We don't have the teachers names yet, though. But whatever.
I was discussing colleges with The Mother (yet again), and I'm really going to need to work on the whole "getting scholarships" thing if I want to go where I currently want to go....it's a tad expensive.
I'm not even a sophomore yet, and I know how much of a pain college stuff is. Fun.
Well, I still have a while to worry about it.
People are asking me how it feels to no longer be a freshman, and I'm like how the heck should I know? The next school year hasn't started yet!
The only difference that I know of is being more of an authority figure in marching band.

Well, I'm off to get ready for bed....I have a nice, busy day tomorrow. Have an awesome start of summer, everyone!
There might be a lack of posting in the near future, due to being rather busy, just fyi.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Sunday June 6, 2010: Graduation [Presents] and The Finale

2010-06-06T14:26:00.002-04:00

Song on Repeat: "Your Guardian Angel" by The Red Jumpsuit Apperatus
Mood: Thoughtful
"Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing,
Stars are falling
Just for us"

Horray, it's only been a few days since I last posted! You know, as opposed to the two weeks that has become common practice recently.
What can I say, I'm awesome [sometimes].
Anyways.

So Michael (and all my other Seniors) graduated on Friday!!! I went with Michael's family, and his girlfriend. It was fun! I thought it would be at least a little awkward, but it was fun!!! We counted down the time, and watched the names listed in the program go by.
I got a hug from all of my Senior friends at the end!! All of them! (Not at the same time....that would be a little weird) but I was so spazzed to see them!
But I was so happy to see them all graduate!
I'm so surprised too, because I didn't even cry! Well, maybe a little bit that night when I was home by myself before I went to the carnival. But that was only a little bit. I think that I'm in shock, because it doesn't really seem real yet.
There is a slight issue though, because I don't have anyone's present done yet!! To be honest, the only one I've given real thought to is Michael's. For other people, maybe I'll print out a picture of us together for each of them. Well, there's still some time. A week or so, to be exact.
I might also make bracelets for everyone. Because I like making those. There's still time.

The end of the school year is coming. It's on Thursday!!!! I'm so psyched!!!!
There's just....stuff I want to get done. I feel like something is so close to happening, regarding a certain person who I think I mentioned in an earlier post.
I'm going to miss people! This summer is the end of life as I know it. It's different than last summer, the summer before high school. This is the summer where my friends leave for college. Michael, who I've known since I wasn't even two yet, Sam who always encouraged me to keep going with everything band related, no matter what, who was also my Freakout Blankie. Andrew who made me realize that drum major is something that I need to do, for myself. That it's something that I want so bad. Tom, who always makes me laugh and is there when he's needed. Katie who believed in me, and encouraged me to write and showed confidence in my abilities by making me editor in chief of the school literary magazine. And Justin, who put up with so much of my ranting and freaking out about all things male related, but just laughed and gave me advice to keep me from going completely insane. And he also was always there to make me laugh.
Some of these people, I've only known for about a year, but they've totally changed me for the better, and when they're gone, I'm going to miss them so much!!
Katie and I are going to have at least one sleepover this summer, Justin and I are planning all kinds of shenanigans, such as mini golfing, and plans for the summer after I graduate, Andrew is in a new ska band, and will most likely be playing at my birthday party, Sam will probably be at all kinda of marching band stuffs, Tom and I will definitely be hanging out, and Michael and I will be hanging out as much as possible, as per usual.
My freshman year is coming to a close, and it's hard to believe the changes since me this time last year.
This is a post from this time last year. I had surprisingly similar concerns back then; friends, graduation (although back then, it was my graduation from middle school) and the upcoming summer fun (especially Camp!!!!!! Which, trust me, I am so spazzed about).

Well I'm off to check out the homework I've sorta been puting off.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Friday May 28, 2010: The End, PAIN, and Accomplishments

2010-05-28T16:37:00.003-04:00

Song on Repeat: "This Ain't Goodbye" by Train
Mood: slightly sad, encouraged
As long as we've got time
Then this ain't goodbye
Oh no, this ain't goodbye

Teresa dear, please check out that song for The CD!!!! Thank you.

Anyhoos, so today was the last day for Seniors! It makes me very very very sad. Surprisingly, I haven't cried yet. It's quite honestly a miracle. I didn't even wear my contacts today, because I figured that I'd cry and they would come out, and it would be a pain.
The only explanation that I can think of is that it hasn't fully sunk in yet. That my Seniors are graduating next Friday. That they won't ever be in school with me again. They'll be gone. That everything will be different now.
Surprisingly, Michael hasn't signed my yearbook yet. I need to get on that. Of course, he lives right next door, so it's not like I'll never see him again. I can see him whenever I darn well feel like it....for now, anyways. When he's not out with his girlfriend.
Anyways.
It's not a big issue.

Yesterday was once again marching band, and my legs are DEAD. They hurt soooooooo bad!!!! My thighs burn and everything from my knees down doesn't hurt, but feels weak. I honestly didn't think I'd be able to walk up and down the stairs at school today. It's not fun.
It's all from the stupid freaking lunges we did while Lortzercizing!!!!!! I can't handle lunges, let me tell you. In eighth grade, we did a lap or two up and down the gym doing lunges, and I couldn't walk the next day....well, I could, but just barely. What we did last night was just 10 on the left leg, and 10 on the right leg, and I've been waddling like a penguin all day. Shoot, I can't even lean down!!! It's lovely. Anyone else have the same problem? Teresa, are you sore at all?

I feel rather accomplished at this point in time. I have four things I've written published in our school literary magazine, I feel that marching band is going pretty well so far this season, I'm making progress (hopefully!!!!!) with an issue that's going on....with a person, and life just seems to be going pretty well.
As of now, anyway. Besides you know, the immense pain in my legs, the fact that my Seniors are all leaving me, and the Memorial Day Parade is on Monday. We're all going to die. If I never post again, you will know what happened. I'm not even kidding, dude.
I'm not looking forward to it at all!!!

Well, I'm off to read.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Tuesday May 25, 2010: Oops, Trumpet

2010-05-25T19:04:00.004-04:00

Song on Repeat: "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey
Mood: Content
"Just a small town girl
Living in a lonely world
She took the midnight train
Going anywhere"

Here I am, welcoming myself back to the World of Blogging.
Yeah, I have an excuse. A week or so ago, I sat down and wrote this nice long post, and I was very proud of myself and everything. Then, my computer kinda exploded and it got deleted and I was so annoyed that I just haven't bothered posting ever since then.
Not my fault! Just fyi. It was the computer and blogger's fault.

So I just spent the better part of the past hour cleaning Delilah and listening to the CD recording of our school's bands from this past year or so. So that was rather fun. I have Carmina Burana stuck in my head. For the record, that's not the whole piece, it's just a movement from it, what number Teresa? 10? I think?
Anyways, since marching band has started I'm going to be talking about that a lot. I've been pretty busy with looking forward to that!

I'll probably post again in the next couple days, but for now, I'm off to go to church band rehersal.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Tuesday May 11, 2010: Computer, and Planning

2010-05-11T17:45:00.002-04:00

Song on Repeat: "One Day Too Late" by Skillet
Mood: slight stomach ache
"Today I'm gonna love my enemies
Reach out to somebody who needs me"

So my computer like stopped working the other day, hence my lack of posting.
It's going to be tested for viruses apparently, and so I'm currently using The Father's laptop, which is not so great, because as I've mentioned before, laptops and I don't get along very well. But whatever, I shall survive.

My main project lately, besides the insane amounts of government homework that are being assigned lately, is planning my birthday.
Unfortunately, The Father vetoed my idea for having the band play at my party, which means that I'm having it at my house, as per usual, which is fine with me.
Last night, I discussed the date I currently have decided with Jason, who is going to come. However, I negelected to mention the fact that he and Nathan will hopefully be singing for at least a little while, hopefully. I might want to discuss that with him, and you know, Nathan, who I haven't talked to about it at all....I should get on that. Hopefully, everything will go as planned, and I'll have an amazing party.....it's like right around a month away.

Besides that, not much has been going on.
I spent about half of chemistry today arguing about whether using "gay" as a synonym for stupid, etc, is very bad or not. I'm positive that I'm right in the argument I was having, and of course, the dude I was arguing with is convinced that he's right. I just love being stubborn and arguing with other stubborn people.
And after school, I had an appointment with my eye doctor, and I now have a three month supply of contacts. I'm kinda excited about that, especially considering marching band rookie camp is next week! My friends and I are counting down the days together. It's rather entertaining.

Well, sorry this post wasn't more interesting, but I'm off to run on our Gazelle thingy....Google it if you've never seen the commercials.....

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Tuesday May 4, 2010: Already, Birthday, and Band (of course)

2010-05-04T18:04:00.003-04:00

Song on Repeat: "Love Story" by Taylor Swift
Mood: tired, excited
"We were both young
When I first saw you,
I close my eyes
And the flashbacks start
I'm standing there
In a balcony somewhere"

Sheesh, is it really May already?! My freshman year has gone by very fast, apparently. School lets out on June 10, but I can't even enjoy it that much, because guess what I have?
That's right, marching band rehersal!
Woo hoo!
Anyways, so I've been spending like all afternoon watching UFO and alien shows on the History Channel. I really feel like they should have better things to show. The "scientists" they have on these shows are kinda crazy in my opinion. But don't think that I don't like these shows.
I'm very into the unknown type stuff, and aliens are on my list. Yes, I do indeed believe them. Don't judge me!

Off that topic, yeah, I can't believe it's May! I have stuff to do, and the time to do them is narrowing down.
For example, making The CD for Michael. I really need to get that done, as I still only have three songs on it! And planning my birthday (more about that later), studying for finals and assessments, and enjoying my free time before marching band officially started.
Note that blogging is not on that list, so I'm sorry if I don't post constantly. I am still going to post, but if I take a bit off, I'm sorry about that.
I am getting more and more homework in attempts to get everything done by the end of the year, so that's occupying a lot of my time.

Another thing I'm planning is my birthday. I have a couple options.
The first is going to a concert that the band I love so much is in, along with August Burns Red!!!! Which is exciting, clearly. Anyways, it's a couple hours away from my house, but I'd get The Father to bring me and a couple friends to that, and then have my party like a week or so later at my house and have Nathan bring his guitar and play and we'd swim and junk. Also, (Maddie and I are plotting this), getting Jason somehow to scream, because quite honestly, his voice is ah-mazing!!!!! It makes me smile. My second option is not going to the concert, but having my party in the church that I go to's social hall, and having the band that I love so much play at it!!!! Of course, this is still being discussed with The Father and we're planning it. I'm cool with either option. I mean, heck, Nathan could open for the band I love so much if we did it at the church! Maddie and I (but mostly me) thought that we could have Nathan and Jason open for them, and have them do an acoustic version of my favorite song by them!! I would be so psyched.
And no, I'm not having the whole band. I just don't want their whole band there, too much work. I don't know any of them besides Nathan and Jason and slightly Gerald really at all, so....yeah, I don't really want to deal with that. It's not that I don't love them very much, I do! But....yeah. So I will let you know how that all works out.

Rookie camp for marching band is in a couple weeks! I'm excited!
It will be fun. I'm so psyched to get into another season. It will be a lot of work and stuffs, but yeah, I'm still excited.

Well I'm off to get ready to go to watch the orchestra and jazz band concert.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Friday April 23, 2010: Audition

2010-04-23T17:34:00.004-04:00

Song on Repeat: "You Are the Music in Me" from HSM2
Mood: proud/content, excited, tired
"When you dream,
There's a chance you'll find
A little laughter,
Or a happy ever after"

I feel like a fail for having that as my song on repeat, but it's currently what's stuck in my head, so....I have to deal with it.
Anyways.

So today was my audition. I'm sure you're all dying to know how it went! So here's the whole story.
This morning, I'd forgotten that my teacher in my first class, which I had to miss part of, was going to have a sub. So I went up to talk to the teacher as soon as the first bell rang, and she wasn't there obviously. The sub wasn't there, either. Luckily, another kid showed up a few seconds after me, so I asked him to tell the sub that I was there and was going to get there late. So then, I went back downstairs, nervous because I thought the directors might send me back to class because I hadn't talked to the teacher.
As I walked down the stairs, Sam [my section leader] was standing on the second floor landing talking to someone, so I waited for him to finish talking and then we walked down together. I freaked out to him, because that's just what I do. (He loves me anyways, haha).
Anyway, so then we got to the band room and we waited for the announcements to end and then I had to go first because I had to go back to class! (Everyone else auditioning was in wind ensemble). So I pretty much had a minor panic attack, and then I started.
It was slightly a blur. I don't recall much except for not knowing where the different parts standing in percussion were at first, looking at Cynthia and her motioning to move my hands up higher (I did) and making a face at Teresa.
Well the meaner director (the little info about that is on my last post I think) was shocked and "absolutely blown away" at how well I did! I pretty much taught myself completely. I got some help from Teresa, Michael, and Andrew [the Drum Major], but other than that, it was 100% me.
He was also shocked because I'd only seen the piece performed once, I'm not in the band, and I knew nothing about the music. So naturally, when I apparently did a great job (not being stuck up, it's what I've heard from my friends in the band) it was surprising.
That's right, everyone loves the freshman :-)
I wasn't picked as drum major or even assistant, but that's okay. I know I was laughing about people telling me to do it "for the experience" earlier in the year, but now I'n really glad I did. It's been a huge boost to my self confidence, knowing that next year, I'll have even more of an advantage. And hopefully, my directors will feel like they know more about me now, because they know I am willing to work so hard for something I want, working against the odds to achieve a goal.
I'm happy about the people who were chosen, so it's okay. When I hopefully work with the current assistant drum major next year when he's drum major, I know we'll get along well. Then again, that's a year away.

Well I'm off to eat pizza.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Tuesday April 20, 2010: Failure, Band [As Usual] and Plans

2010-04-20T17:27:00.004-04:00

Song on Repeat: "All I Ask of You (Reprise) from Phantom of the Opera
Mood: tired, sick
"You will curse
The day you did not do
All that the Phantom
Asked of you"

Yes, I do realize it's been eight days since my last post....oops. I don't really understand why this has happened all of a sudden.
It's not like I really have anything better to do (although I should be practicing conducting more, and giving cues).
If you all want your money back, I'm sorry, but I'm too greedy to give it to you.

Anyways, so as you saw in my last post, I need to work on my conducting junk because my audition is on Friday!!!!!
My interview was yesterday. Yesterday was also the worst days I've had all year.
So I went in to get a pass for my interview because I had class during the time I signed up for, and of course, the meaner director* was the only one there, so I had to talk to him.
He told me that he wasn't going to give me a pass because I was supposed to sign up for a time when I did have class. The reason I didn't do that is because I didn't find out about the signups until the week after he had put up the papers to sign up on, so I had to pick the one that wasn't on the day I signed up....(yeah, I talked about that in my last post also). So anyways, it wasn't my fault that I hadn't known about it. I was freaking out about that, plus he just kinda made me feel dumb because I hadn't come in for help with conducting. So I was like crying and spazzing all morning. It was not pleasant. Then, he called me in during the little study hall class thing that we have where we get requested by teachers and do homework in junk. So my teacher for that was wondering if I was ok, because I freaked out even more when I saw who had requested me. But I went down, did my interview, and then felt better the rest of the day.
Another thing that made me feel better was that he had me help a little bit in band today with collecting back papers from people. Although it wasn't all of the stuff that my friend Sean gets to do (because my directors love him because of his older sister), I still kinda felt like well, he's giving me stuff to do. Maybe seeing how I handle more responsibility? My interview actually went okay, and I'm pretty certain he liked at least one of my answers (the mean director was of course the one that did my interview).
Anyways, along with that, I have to do recruitment calls for eighth graders who are possibly coming up to do marching band. He asked me in band if I understood what we have to do, and I did, and he said that two of the other possible drum major candidates were confused by it.
I was like yesssssss, win!!
Is there hope? Yes. I just have to kick butt in the audition, and then we'll have to see what happens. Cross your fingers for me!!!
In my interview, I told him that I didn't expect anything this year, and he told me not to sell myself short and showed me pictures of the band who had a drum major that auditioned in their freshman year.
Shoot, I'm just hoping for assistant!!! But still, it gave me a little hope.

Besides that, yesterday Michael came over to tutor me, today Tom came over to teach my sister bassoon, tomorrow I might be getting contacts, Thursday I'm seeing the musical at my school and hopefully Andrew [the Drum Major] is coming over to help me with conducting, Friday I'm being an obsessive fangirl and watching Phantom of the Opera, and Saturday I'm seeing the musical at Ian, Nathan, and Jason's school. Nathan is in it, he's the lead! I already saw it once, last Saturday, but I'm seeing it again with Emily and maybe other people, I don't know. It depends.
Those are my short term plans.
Mainly my only long term plans are finishing Michael's graduation present, locating small other presents for my other friends who are graduating, and also, hopefully seeing a show for the local band that I'm obsessed with on May 30, before they go on tour!!!!! I'm so bummed they changed the date of that show to a Sunday, because it was originally on the 28, so I could have definitely gone. But I'm dead set on going to that show if I can!!!! And Maddie is hopefully coming with me if I go!!!! But that's not for a WHILE, so who knows, maybe the date will get changed again.
That band is going to go far, trust me.

Ummmm, that's all that I can think of writing about for now!!! Hopefully I'll remember to post again this week, and I'll definitely say how my audition goes on Friday!
Pray for me ;-)

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

*The Meaner Director is not saying that he is actually evil. He is kinda nice when he's not in a bad mood. But he scares the crap out of me, no matter what. I'm sorry, but he does. Of course, I do tend to be obsessively freaked out by authority, as in adults, teachers, etc.
And yes, for the record, I'm aware that being drum major will make me have to come in contact with him more. Shush. Don't laugh at me. It will work out if I am.

Monday April 12, 2010: Audition, and Dramaaaaa

2010-04-12T18:06:00.002-04:00

Song on Repeat: "If You're Out There" by John Legend
Mood: tiredddd, conducty
"We're the generation
That can't afford to wait,
The future started yesterday,
We're already late"

I like my song on repeat. Someone sang it for this assembly we had early this year, and I slept over at my friend's house on Saturday, and she had it on her iPod.
Anyways.

So I spent like half the weekend freaking out about this signup for an interview for people who want to be section leader or drum major because I hadn't hard about it. However, last night, I freaked out to Cynthia about it over the phone, and I'm all better. I signed up this morning, and my interview is now set up for one of the two spots that were still available, 12:45 next Monday, which means I pretty much get to miss lunch. Awesome. But whatever, it will be fine. The other empty space was today at the same time, and I sure as heck wasn't going to do that without preparing at all! Well, if it was the only spot, I would have, but....yeah. There was another spot, so I took that. However, that means that I'm the last person period, to have their interview. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. Thoughts?
Anyways, I'm lucky to have my friend Sean because he not only puts up with my constant freaking out about all things regarding him, and me punching him, but he's never violent back (well DUH, I'm a girl! And he knows I'd just hit him again, heehee), and he trys (usually) to make me feel better or calm down. Or he just lets me hit him over and over until I feel better and then walks away or something.
You might not be able to tell from my blog, but I freak out a lot. It's just kinda me, and who I am. I worry too much, I freak out, and in the end, everything is fine.
I figured you might want to know what I'm auditioning on (that is, conducting), so here it is. There's that, and also The Star Spangled Banner, the John Higgins limited edition version, which I can't find on YouTube. But I have it memorized, so yeah, it's all good. I don't need to hear that.
I have to conduct both in front of Wind Ensemble. Yup.

Besides that, which is managing to occupy all the previously empty space in my mind, there's all the drama going on with my friends. What's up with all of the people breaking up and getting together lately?!
Plus, there's the whole thing where I think Aleks hates me for no reason. I swear I did not do a single stinking thing to that child, and now he's ignoring me. Whatever.
I'm done with him. :-)
Other things are more important. But what is up with a ton of my friends coming to me with relationship issues?! Not that there's a problem with that. There's not.

Only a couple months (well, three to be exact) until Camp!!!!! I'm psyched.

Well I'm off to practice more conducting.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Tuesday April 6, 2010: Oops, Another Amazing Concert, and BAND

2010-04-06T15:56:00.005-04:00

Song on Repeat: "I'm Sorry" by Flyleaf
Mood: tired, smiling
"My scars are yours today
This story ends so good
I love you and I understand
That you stood where I stood"

So it's April. Yup. And currently, it's somewhere in the vicinity of 90 degrees!!! Insane, I know. Michael and I discussed on the walk home from the bus stop that we'd rather it be about 70 degrees all year, and I reminded him that he's probably like it better when he's at college because it's kinda in the midwest, so it will probably be cooler out.
Does this mean that I'm cool with the fact that in a few months, he's leaving me and going to college? No, but hey, at least apparently I can now discuss it without like crying. Which yes, has happened every other time I talk about it. What can I say? I'll miss him.
Anyhoos.
What I meant to talk about is this. Have you ever had one of those days where it's like you accidently write the wrong date on a paper in the morning and then realize it and fix it, but then for the rest of the day, you write that wrong date?
I'm probably completely alone in this matter.
But that happened to me today.

So I spent yet another afternoon watching the band perform at another show. The place they usually perform is starting to turn into like, another home, I tell you!
As sketchy as the people are, or seem to be, and as freaking loud as it gets, I love it. I love all the pictures I took!!!! There are some truely amazing ones that I rather love that I took. There are some especially good ones of Jason. Well, to be honest, good ones of everyone except their drummer, but I did actually get a couple of him that weren't really blurry and out of focus!!! Which made me happy on the inside, and proud, too. Because I tell you, that took some work and effort!!!

And besides that. Well I officially signed up for drum major auditions like last Wednesday, but I didn't get the score last week, and I'm getting it tomorrow. I talked to the directors today about it. I was like shaking I was so terrified of talking to them, no lie. I have smallish self confidence issues, heehee. But yeah. The auditions are on April 23, and Andrew [the Drum Major] is going to help me practice. I'm auditioning with Kirpatrick Fanfare (which wind ensemble is playing) and the Star Spangled Banner. Hopefully I'll do OK!!!

Tomorrow after school, there is rehersal for members of marching band who were in it this past season, and then Thursday is the recruiting trip!!!! I'm excited!!!!

Well I'm off to clean my room.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Tuesday March 30, 2010: Tiredness, and This Week....

2010-03-30T17:11:00.002-04:00

Song on Repeat: "Meteor Shower" by Owl City
Mood: tired!!!!
"I am not alone,
For I have been made new!
Please don't let me go,
I desprately need you."

I feel like that song could be used as like a religious or church song. Just saying. It's by Owl City, and everything by them is amazing.

Anyhoos, this is me, proving Ian wrong because I'm posting today instead of tomorrow.
So ha!!!! Plus, we went to Rita's on Sunday, so that's two wins for me!

This week, I'm freaking exhausted! I was busy all weekend, and so by today, I'm about to fall out of my chair and just curl up in a ball on the floor and fall asleep. For serious.
But also, coming up hopefully soon, should be a new chapter of my story!!! I haven't forgotten, I've just been lazy. But I do have the first couple paragraphs done. I just need to finish it, so look for that later this week!

Lately, I've been feeling very in control of my life, but in some things, I have no control over, and they're the things dampening my mood.
However, I found out today that I got an A on the government test I was sure I failed, and I did quiz corrections for the two quizzes in chem that I got C's on. Maybe the end of this year won't be so bad. You never know.
Life just kinda does what it wants to, and sometimes I feel that I'm just along for the ride. And then I think it's all good.....and then I almost faint from shock at something I read.
I still laugh at the phrase "It's facebook official" though. Just saying.

There's a long weekend!!!! I'm so psyched. We have a half day on Thursday, no school Friday, and no school Monday. It's exciting!!!! I'm looking forward to the whole sleeping in thing.

All you need is love, remember that.

Sorry this post was random, haha. I don't have much to talk about.

I'm off to be lazy.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

ps- West Virginia better freaking win, at least against Duke!!!! I had Ohio State to win the whole thing. Grrrrrr.

Wednesday March 24, 2010: Poetry, Friends, and Trumpet

2010-03-24T16:50:00.002-04:00

Song on Repeat: "Don't Trust Me" by 3Oh!3
Mood: Tired (as per usual)
"Tell your boyfriend
If he says he's got beef
That I'm a vegetarian"

Has it really been another like week since I last posted?! Sheesh!!!! I'm slacking off apparently.
Well hopefully this post will bring some hope to my [future] writing career.

I had a meeting with Guidance on Tuesday (aka yesterday) and apparently my 4 year plan, that I spend oh so much time working on (it's like an obsession! We aren't allowed enough credits per year, darnet! I need more than 8), is looking fine, so that's good. Apparently, I should maybe have a science and social studies class in my senior year, even though I'll have had the right number of credits. Of course, that all comes down to whether I decide to not just do regular band, but jazz or whatever, too. So yeah, it's a tough decision. Of course, there's still a couple years until that.
Do you realize next year I'm going to be a sofmore?! Which means I only have three years left before college!
I feel old.

In my English class, we're starting our poetry unit. I think I'm actually going to like doing poetry in this class. I usually hate it because despite my love of poetry, I can't stand having to analyze it to death. Which is what we have always done. But I don't think this teacher is going to make us do that, thank goodness. Another benefit of high school.
A lot of things in my life have just been coming together lately. There's only one big problem that I have no control at all over, that is constantly in the back of my mind and affecting me in everything I do. Hopefully, I'm not going to have to deal with it in the near future. Is it selfish to wish for nothing to happen to someone in order for me to not have to deal with this issue again? For the record, I've never said this issue on here, and don't intend to. But I've mentioned it.
Anyways, last night I was looking for the journal with The Novel in it and came across another journal in my room that I'd been writing in earlier this year.
I found this poem that I really really like that I wrote just a few weeks ago, (or actually at the end of February), and have no memory of what could have prompted me to write it.
Because of how overprotective I am of my writing, I'm not going to post it. But there are a couple others, so here you go.

Ideas

I always take
Really long showers.
The hot water
Helps me think,
And come up with ideas
For stories and poems.
I reapeat lines,
Sentences, and ideas
Over and over
So that I don't forget.
Then, I get dressed,
Run into my room,
And write the line,
Sentence, or idea
Quickly, to remember it.
But usually,
It ends up stupid,
And I wonder
If there's even a point
In trying to write.
Why do I bother?
The long showers
Just bring thoughts
That look bad on paper,
My words disappointing me.

Clearly when I wrote that this past fall, I was peeved because I wrote down a couple lines in a notebook and they were crap once written down. This was my way of venting my frustration.

Friend, sometimes I look at pictures and wonder who they are of.
Then, I realize the who is you, and you are not yourself, but someone changed, and I can't help but wonder....is she the cause? Or was I merely blind before, not seeing through the mask to the real you because of my hopes. Hopes that changed you into an ideal friend.
Someone who is always there, although you had been until now.
Someone who cared, although you always seemed to.
Someone who really thought what you said, unlike past friends.
(By the way, to another friend, I've always known in the back of my mind that you were a jerk and liar this whole time. I'm done with you for good. I'm pretty sure you aren't going to apologise or change. But this time....this time, what did I do?)

I'm pretty sure I need a new mouthpiece. No, actually I'm like 95% sure. The Father and I have agreed that I need to try my old mouthpiece again, but also, I'm going to start taking lessons again, which makes me excited. It also gives Delilah and I more quality time.
I really should probably be spending more time playing, especially the show, because apparently I don't remember as much as I thought I did. But it's fine, just a little practice and it will be great. Only 14 days until the rehersal, and 15 days until the recruiting trip!!!!!!

Well I'm off to mess with The Novel and eat.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Wednesday March 17, 2010: FOREVER, and Updates

2010-03-17T18:06:00.004-04:00

Song on Repeat: "Gandalf" from Lord of the Rings Symphony (Johan DeMeij)
Mood: tired, apologetic

So I'm aware that it's been something like forever since I last posted....my apologies. You all have the right to be annoyed.
This is the part where I list the Reasons I Haven't Posted Lately.
Well, being lazy, lots of homework, and I got a facebook. ;-)
No, I'm not addicted. But I mean, you have to admit there's a ton of stuff to do when you first get one. And if you're like me, this means constantly fiddling with your profile, and looking for people you know. It just happens.
So do I spend hours per day on the computer? No. But I do spend a little while every day.

Life's been....interesting. I actually had to look back at my last post, because I have no memory of what it was about.
Holy crapple!!!! That long ago? well let me try that video again.

Watch it not work. (Shocker, I was right!!)

Anyways, so besides that. I have a 103% in health, an 82% in Chem, an 88% in Government, an A of some sort in band, and a 95.5% in GP Lit as of the last time I saw my grade. Those are better than I thought they would be, so I'm happy. Maybe I'll actually get straight A's!!!! I'd be the happiest person ever, you have no idea, if that happened. The last time was in like third grade or something, no lie. High school's been good to me. The only real downer is Micael's graduation looming in the distance, drawing always closer. Do I dwell on that fact? Unfortunately, yes. I can't help it I tell you!!!!! Especially since I found out that where he's pretty much 100% decided he's going is like 8 or something hours away!!! I'll go crazy without him I tell you!!! We read this poem today in our school literary magazine club that pretty much was how I feel. ish. But it was close! So far, the CD I've been working on for him still has only a couple songs. It's frustrating finding the perfect songs. It's a long process, clearly, because I've been working on it for like two months already and now have I think four or five songs total on it. Or rather, the playlist. And my list of nessicary presents for him is slowly growing longer, and I have to decide whether they are better for graduation or for when he actually leaves for college. In reality, that's like five months away, which seems long thinking about it, but really I'm guessing it's not actually that long. The summer will probably fly by.

In the meantime, we're going on the Marching Band Recruitment Trip in a couple weeks!!!!! I'm not sure what I'm more excited about; the band's takeover of the mall food court in between visiting the two middle schools, playing the show again, or being around all the crazy, amazing band people again, aka my disfunctional school family. I'll bet Cynthia's not looking forward to it, like at all. Or marching the Memorial Day Parade, which is always like the hottest freaking day of the year, and the parade is crazily long. I get tired just standing there watching!! Thank goodness we'll have had a couple days of rookie camp, although I'm fairly certain that's not enough exercise to work ourselves up to the strain of marching the parade. I'm seriously debating about taking up running to prepare for the next season and get back in shape. Which is saying something, considering it's me and I hate running. But you'd need to get in shape too if you'd had a broken elbow and therefore had just been beng lazy all freaking winter.

Well, I'm off to watch some tv. And after this, I believe I'll be back to posting regularly again.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Tuesday March 9, 2010: Drama, the Concert, and Bleghness

2010-03-09T17:14:00.003-05:00

Song on Repeat: "Here Comes the Sun" by The Beatles

Mood: tired

"Here comes the sun

And I say

It's alright"

Holy crap. So blogger is really annoying sometimes. Therefore, if later in this post there's an annoyed rant instead of videos from the concert on Saturday, you won't even have to ask.

Just a heads up.

Why is my life, and the lives of my friends, so freaking dramatic?!

Honestly, if they filmed us all, they'd probably have a new hit reality show. Sheesh. I kid you not.

Like since when have my friends become the kind of people to cheat on the person they've been dating for a crazy long time, and then break up and go out with the person they cheated with like the day after they broke up? For serious. That's just messed up in my opinion.But it's not my business, so.....

Some people, I wonder about. Like what drives them to do things. To be so unforgiving for something that maybe happened like three years ago, and they refuse to forgive whoever said or did whatever they did. And as time goes on, you get more mad about it and more and more reluctant to forgive the person or people. Or you forget what you were even so upset about in the first place, but you figure it must have been really bad or you wouldn't have been so upset about it in the first place. And you hold a grudge and hold it, and it eats away at you. And maybe the person you have the grudge against that you refuse to forgive, used to be a good, close friend. But you can't bring yourself to forgive them, even if it's affecting your other friends, because they're friends with the person too. Or it's a family member, and it's affecting the rest of your family.

Maybe you should forgive them. Your life would be better spent worrying about things going on, like studying for that test, or going on vacation to visit that person you've been so mad at. Maybe forgiving your friend and becoming friends again will make your relationship stronger. I know it did for me and one of my best friends when I got so mad in third grade that I stopped speaking to her. When I figured out I missed my friend, I didn't know how to fix the problem myself, so I went to the guidance counselor to help us, and now we're best friends and way closer than we were before that fight. As soon as it was over, we went back to becoming friends and understood each other way better.

Maybe that's all people who are fighting need!

[If you're reading this Cynthia, thanks for always being such a great friend].

I saw a quote I really liked and then it disappeared, so here's this instead. [from Photobucket]So yeah.

Um, on to the concert. Well, lets see if this video works.....Nope, apparently not. Sorry!!!!
Meanwhile, so it was such an awesome, fun concert!!! Jason was, shall I say, occupied? So my friend Emily and I just chilled with Nathan a lot of the time, which was entertaining. And I took a TON of pictures with Gerald's camera, so those are now up on their website. They actually turned out a lot better than I thought they would, so I'm really happy about that. There's one of Jason with his mouth totally wide open and it's really funny! Horray for me not only being one of their two Official Fangirls, but also Official Photographer. Heehee.

Soooooo yesterday was the worst Monday I've had in a while, to be honest. First, I was late to my fist class by like literally one minute because I forgot to put a paper I'd printed out in my binder, so I went to the media center to print it out there, but the computer took forever to log on, so when the bell rang, it was just finally logging on. So I logged off as soon as it got logged on and would let me, and ran up the stairs like a crazy person to my first class. Then, I was sitting there for about a minute panting (trust me, those stairs are not for the faint hearted, especially running up all the way to the third floor wearing clogs, with a huge, heavy backpack on), when my teacher came over and asked if I'd been there the whole time. So I said I was there like a minute after the bell rang. So she'd marked me absent instead of late, so I had to run all the way back down the stairs to get a late pass from the attendance office, then run all the way back up to give her the pass. I was running because I didn't want to miss class, so don't think I'm irresponsible. And besides all that, I didn't even get the stupid essay printed out!!! So I just told my teacher when I got to that class, and she let me go to the media center and print it out. I used a different computer, and it worked out fine. But all the same, it ruined my whole day.

Today was just.....boring. Nothing special. And the video upload is not freaking working, sorry!!

Well I'm off to eat.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Friday March 5, 2010: Out of it, and Is Being a Fangirl a Hobby?

2010-03-05T18:51:00.002-05:00

Song on Repeat: "Whatcha Say" by Jason Derulo
Mood: tired, upset, excited
"Cuz when the roof caved in
And the truth came out,
I just didn't know what to do"

Sorry, once again, for the lack of posting. Lazyness, bored, just can't be bothered with doing it.....
Yeah, sorry.
I'm.....well, there's been crap going down in my life. Not big stuff really, just stuff. I don't know.
One of the things, well today, I talked to a dude in my class who will be known as PS from this point on. Well, it was like 2 sentences each, probably a total of 20 words, but my friends were happy, and I was proud of myself for talking to someone who didn't talk to me first that I didn't actually know....yeah. And he's in 2 of my classes. And he knows my name. Which is a bit surprising, considering I don't really talk.....except to Anastasia, who sits in front of him in the one class....yeah. But he doesn't really talk either.
It's not that I like him, but PS stands for something, and so it was a little accomplishment talking to him. Not a big deal though.
Anyways. Well, literally as I was typing that paragraph thing, I got a text from Jason, which was random, because usually I text him first. Again not a big deal, but just something.
Which brings me to the next part.

Is being a fangirl considered a hobby? And can it turn into a career? Cuz if it could, I'm an expert, so I'm sure I could get paid a lot for doing it.
For example, remember the band besides Nathan and Jason's from this concert that I was obsessing about? Weeeell, Maddie and I are still being rather fangirlish about them. As in I check out their myspace all the time and listen to the demo that I have all the time.
They might possibly have a record deal!!!!!!! That would be the most amazing thing ever. They aren't revealing if they do or not yet though, which is unfortunate. But their full length album is going to be finished apparently somewhere in March (OMG, I totally just figured out that that's this month!!!!! Talent? Why yes), and it's going to come out in June. So I'm psyched as anything for that!!!! It's going to be freaking amazing. I wish they'd get specific with a date for it, because I want to buy it like as soon as it comes out! Not download it, I want a physical copy.
They're so amazing, they're definitely going to be really famous some day, so the demo I have is most likely going to be worth a ton of money, hence me treating it like it's gold.

And then besides all that rant for a band that I won't reveal the name of (sorry, y'all!), I'm going to another show tomorrow with Nathan and Jason's band headlining!!!!! Most awesome thing to happen so far this year? Heck to the yes!
I'm so proud of them!!!! :-D My boysssss. So I'm excited as anything to go to that tomorrow, as is Jason. I'm going to be hyper as anything looking forward to it tomorrow.
Last night, I went to Jason's house and got the tickets for it, which consisted of standing in his driveway for about 3 minutes talking, which was fun.
Which makes me have to tell a short story.....
So The Mother and I were driving home from Nannie Banana's house a couple months ago, and it was night, and she swerved off the road and almost hit a mailbox!! And I was texting Jason at the time, and so I told him and he was like oh gosh well I'm glad you're ok and I was like um yeah. So last night when we were trying to find his house, The Mother thought she went past his street (she didn't) so she slammed on the brakes and started backing up, but there was another car coming behind us! So we couldn't keep backing up so we stopped and just kept going forward. And then of course, I was texting Jason telling him we were almost to his house, so I had to tell him that story and he was like oh wow. So I told The Mother and Sister Dearest it was like the incident with the mailbox, and I had to explain that, and Sister Dearest kept cracking up for probably at least half an hour, and at one point, I wasn't sure if she was breathing, she was laughing so hard! It was pretty spectacular.
Yeah, I just wanted to tell that story. Now, if I want to make her start laughing really hard, I just say "mailbox!"

Well I'm off to watch tv.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

ps- Maybe expect pictures and videos in the next couple days from the concert!

Friday February 26, 2010: Lazyness, Working, and Life

2010-02-26T15:29:00.002-05:00

Song on Repeat: "I Do Not Hook Up" by Kelly Clarkson
Mood: tired
"oh sweetheart,
put the bottle down,
Cuz you don't wanna miss out"

Yeah, sorry about my lack of posting lately. I go on blogger every day, and then think "man, it's too much work to blog today. Maybe I'll do it tomorrow....if I have time."
So there you have it.
Plus, there hasn't been too much going on that's interesting. My usual boring wake up at o' dark fifty, go to school, come home, do homework, watch tv, go to sleep.
I need a life.

Which is why I'm going to.....*brace yourself* apply for a job!
Yup.
At the Borders Express in the mall. I've been saying that I should for like the past month, and then last night when we were there, I decided that I'm actually going to do it. I'm not sure when, but in the next couple days. It would be nice to have a job, especially at the mall. Getting paid to get out of the house, that sounds like heaven. See, most of my friends are rather busy lately, so I can't hang out with them, and there's not much to do. I don't want to go places with The Parentals because that's boring and lame, but the main people I've been face to face with outside of school are Sister Dearest, The Parentals, and members of La Famille.
That job sounds better and better.

As for other crap going on....well, as you can tell, there's not much. I have a "psychic stalker", I'm mad at Jason, and irritated with Nathan more than usual for not answering a single freaking text. For serious.
That child makes me so annoyed sometimes. But it's alright, I'm used to it. Sometimes he'll text me and apologise a couple days after I text him, so I'm just waiting for that.
As for why I'm mad at Jason....well, let's just say that something happened, and I really think since it happened twice, he should apologise. It's been a week exactly since I started being mad at him, and maybe he'll get the picture, maybe he won't.
But I do want to be friends with him!!!!! He's really nice and a good friend, and I don't want to get mad and just refuse to try and talk to him, because that would be dumb. We've been friends for like a year and a half, and I'd feel like the lame freshman that I am if I did that.
I think that certain things should be apologised for, and it's annoying if they aren't.
Like, say, if someone's friend or significant other texts you from their phone, I think that the phone's owner should text you and apologise for the stuff the friend or whatever said. I always apologise if that happens, and I think it's just a nice thing to do. But whatever.

So I'm off to snack, cuz I'm hungry!!!

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

Friday February 19, 2010: Phones, and Skating

2010-02-19T15:22:00.003-05:00

Song on Repeat: "Summer's Song" by Chase Coy

Mood: bad

"So please don't forget

To call me

Just to let me know that

You're doing ok

Miles away from me"

So I'm wondering if it's possible for a bad day to start the night before the official bad day.

Maybe it's just hormones or something. :-p

Last night, we went to the Verizon store for me to pick out a new phone, which I figured would take like half an hour at the most. Somehow, we ended up spending about two hours there.

It was freaking terrible.

The Parentals decided to make it into this huge deal and they have this business thing where if you have 5 lines, you get discounts on crap, so they decided to get Sister Dearest a phone.

Hence the start of my bad day.

Hello, the child is 11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She doesn't freaking need a phone. The Mother was all "well she's not going to take it to school, it's going to have restrictions, blah blah blah."

Yeah, big deal. The fact still stands that she got her phone at the age of 11, and I got mine when I was 13. (Dang that seems young).

See, I wanted the LG EnV from the day that I first saw the commercial on tv. I was obsessed with it. I'd list it multiple times on Christmas and birthday wish lists. Then, when it came out in different colors, I wanted orange. More than anything in the world, I wanted that phone.

This went on for about three years, so by the time I was allowed to get a phone on my 13th birthday, they had stopped making it, so I ended up with the LG EnV2. Which was perfectly fine with me. Except for the fact that it stopped working, and by the time I got this new phone last night, I was on my second EnV2. (The sales guy who talked to [and put up with] us last night said he went through 6). So you see, the type of phone was very dear to me, and I did everything in my power to try and get it, including I believe, making flyers or something to give to The Parentals, listing the many reasons I deserved a phone, and not just any phone, but the EnV. That was back in like 6th grade.

So after having my phone for as long as I did, I'm furious at how unfair it is that Sister Dearest got a phone, restrictions or not. The fact still stands that she didn't even expect to get one, and restrictions on it or not, I was using one of The Parentals' phones when I went places by myself until the end of 7th grade. (My birthday is right around the end of the school year).

Unfair, I tell you!!!!!!!

So that just added to the bad mood I gained as today went by. My backpack broke, and just....little stuff that's made me really annoyed all day.

However, I'll introduce you to my new phone.

The LG EnV touch. I like it, it's really cool. I was pretty against touch screens and sliding phones, but I went with this, and the touch screen is entertaining as anything! I like it better than the phone I almost got, the Rouge (I think it was Samsung, but I'm not sure). So yeah, that's pretty much how my life is going right now. Thank goodness it's the weekend.

Tomorrow, I might be going skating. Isn't it funny how those dramatic things that end up turning my life crazy tend to happen after I go skating? Yeah, it's not funny at all. But Aleks isn't coming (I did ask him though, haha). So it'll be Cynthia and I. Maybe ask Anastasia and such, I don't know. What I do know, is that I most definitely am in need of some quality time with my friends.

So I'm off to mess with my new phone some more.

Peace, Magic, and Music,

~*Me*~

PS- ok, for the record, I'm most definitely not one of those selfish, materialistic people. I recognise that there are way better things in the world to be mad about. I'm not really mad about the phone, more of the unfairness of it. Also, I'm not mad at Sister Dearest, although I admit to taking some of it out on her. It's not her fault. So please don't think I'm a bad person, I just have issues about this kind of stuff.

Bleu Trumpet's Misplaced Mind [And Other Stories]

Happy Days!

This is Post 301?! Whaaat?

Happy New Year, Everyone!!!

How Has It Been a Month?

I'm Back!!!!!!

[Insert Creative Title Here]

I Suck At Blogging.

Retail Therapy

So many things......

Keeping Promises!

I Fail.

She Should've Gone to Rehab (I'm So Original)

When Did My Life Become a Taylor Swift Song? (Not That It's a Bad Thing)

A Letter (Unfortunately, Not One Inviting Me to Attend Hogwarts)

It's Been Too Long....

All I Ever Wanted......

Tying Up Loose Ends

I Wish My Titles Were More Witty.

I Fail At Posting. Because I'm Lazy.

Story of My Life.

Saturday May 14, 2011: Eyeballs, Prom, and Other Things

I Have the PLAGUE.

Today Probably Could Have Gone Better.

I Have Been Traumatized.

Oh My Goodness, English Classes......

Gotta Remember......

I Very Seldom Dislike People....

I Like Money

Can We Please Discuss This????

I Like Having Epiphanies at 10:15 p.m.

Opening Up? And Other Random Stuff.......

In Which Katie [The BleuTrumpet] Rants. A Lot.

I'm Going To Explode.

I Have A Bazillion Things to Say.....

Tuesday January 18, 2010: I Keep Sneezing!!!!!

Monday January 10, 2011: I Totally Had This Post Planned This Morning.....

Tuesday January 4, 2011: It's A New Year!

Friday December 31, 2010: A Whole New [Year]

Wednesday December 22, 2010: *whispers* "She's An Angry Blogger"

Thursday December 16, 2010: Christmas, and College Stuffs

Saturday December 11, 2010: Legit Excuse, and Other Things

Sunday December 4, 2010: Whoa, An Actual Decent Post!

Friday December 3, 2010: Not Much....

Monday November 22, 2010: I Don't Actually Have An Excuse

Tuesday November 9, 2010: I Have Returned!

Thursday October 13, 2010: Updates (Since It's Been Forever!)

Sunday September 19, 2010: Lately, and My Life Today

Sunday September 5, 2010: School, Band, and Improvement

Monday August 23, 2010: Returning Again, Band, and Complications

Sunday August 8, 2010: I'm Back, Band, and Updates

Monday July 5, 2010: Camp, and Perfection

Sunday June 20, 2010: Father's Day, and Vacation

Friday June 11, 2010: Parties, Memories, and Looking Ahead

Sunday June 6, 2010: Graduation [Presents] and The Finale

Friday May 28, 2010: The End, PAIN, and Accomplishments

Tuesday May 25, 2010: Oops, Trumpet

Tuesday May 11, 2010: Computer, and Planning

Tuesday May 4, 2010: Already, Birthday, and Band (of course)

Friday April 23, 2010: Audition

Tuesday April 20, 2010: Failure, Band [As Usual] and Plans

Monday April 12, 2010: Audition, and Dramaaaaa

Tuesday April 6, 2010: Oops, Another Amazing Concert, and BAND

Tuesday March 30, 2010: Tiredness, and This Week....

Wednesday March 24, 2010: Poetry, Friends, and Trumpet

Wednesday March 17, 2010: FOREVER, and Updates

Tuesday March 9, 2010: Drama, the Concert, and Bleghness

Friday March 5, 2010: Out of it, and Is Being a Fangirl a Hobby?

Friday February 26, 2010: Lazyness, Working, and Life

Friday February 19, 2010: Phones, and Skating

Wednesday December 22, 2010: whispers "She's An Angry Blogger"